It isn't absolutely necessary, but to fully appreciate the story please read Grrl4vic's Little Birdy and Space Between series. They're great reads and provide background. Emma is her creation.

Happy birthday Dani!!!!!













I was playing in my room when she opened the front door. I heard her deep breath all the way through the living room. I 'member cause it was the same sound she made when I brought home the snake when we were on vacation in Florida. A sound like she was about to dive to the bottom of the 12 foot end of the pool. I came out speedy quick and there she was looking up at this huge guy in a cool leather jacket. The door musta been stuck cause he had helped open it. I think the hinges were broken cause the door was kinda scraping on the floor. Momma was holding the gun that I'm not supposed to know where it is in the chest drawer. She was pointing it at him.

My daddy had come home.

I could'a told her he'd find us. When I saw him that nother month at the playground, and he was the biggest and toughest and handsomest daddy in the whole place. I told that snotty Meghan McKinley that I did too have a daddy and she said if he only comes around once that means you're a bastard, and I knocked out her front tooth which was loose anyway but I still got in trouble with my mom. Then my momma got all upset, and she dragged us a gazillion miles to another condominimum in California. I was mad and sad and didn't talk to her for three days. Or mebbe two.

I knew he'd come for us. And now here's my mom and dad having a staring contest by the doorway, and he's not moving, but his arms are out like he wants to hug her and she's pointing that gun right at his heart, and I don't know what to do and I just yell.

"Daddeeeeeeeeee"

And they both look at me, and my daddy actually waits for a second, like he needs her permission or something, and my mom's shoulders kinda slump down and Daddy takes the gun outta her hand and puts it on the chest.

He turns to me and goes down to one knee.

"Hey kid," he says kinda softly, and I throw myself into his arms and hug him real tight, and he hugs me back. I get squirmy cause I'm feeling all wimpy and he lets me go and I step back from him and cross my arms and I say.

"Where have you been?"

He laughs then. His head's back and he shows all these white teeth that are perfect and beautiful. Especially the pointy ones.

"Well," he laughs looking at my mom, "she sure the hell is your kid."

Even my mom smiles at that. But she still has a sad look.

I grab my daddy's hand, and I pull him towards my bedroom.

"Wanna see my hamster?"

My dad walks with me, but he's still looking at my mom. Hey! Take a picture I wanna say, but he looks down at me.

"Hamster? Sure. I haven't eaten today."

I stop right there and must look pretty surprised, cause he's smiling the little smile that means 'I'm teasing you', and I laugh..... a little.

My dad listens while I show him all the stuff in my room. My hamster, my frog, the salamander I caught by the nature center yesterday. He sits on my bed and just watches with a smile on his face so my stuff must be interesting. I show him my books, and my dinosaurs and my stuffed animal collection, and my Barbies which I like cause they're pretty but I almost never play with. I'm talking fast cause there's so much to say.

"Emma," he says kinda sharply. "C'mere."

So I quiet up and walk over to him and he looks at me kinda funny.

"Your stuff is fine. But we got time. Slow down, okay?"

I'm thinking he might be leavin' in a coupla minutes and he must know I'm not believin' him.

He touches my hair real soft like and smiles.

"I'm gonna take you and your mom away from this dump."

Well, I don't like hearing that, cause this is my home, and my back gets all stiff, but my dad keeps talkin'.

"You and your mom deserve a hundred times this place. And to start, I wanna take you to my house on Martha's Vineyard. It's big and has a pool and the beach is right there. I'll take you fishin' and you'll catch fish bigger'n you. I'll get a Sea Doo and we can ride it right out in the ocean. We can spend the whole summer there."

Before I can say anything my mom comes through the doorway. She has a juice box for me and she hands my dad a beer. He raises an eyebrow as he opens it.

"Since when did you drink dark ale?"

"I don't," she smiles at him. "I've got some steaks on the grill."

"Good," he says. "Whatta you eatin?"

Now my momma just rolls her eyes but I think that is the funniest joke I ever heard and I giggle and giggle and daddy winks at me. Mom sighs and goes back to the kitchen. My dad looks at me again.

"I'll talk to your mom. I bet she'd like a summer at the beach."



Yeah man! I'm so excited but I don't wanna act silly so I act cool.

"Well, I've been to lots of beaches. The Pacific beach and the Gulf beach and the Atlantic beach and the French Riverera."

My dad chuckles at me. "The French Riviera? So you been there, huh?"

"Yeah," I say all casual like. "But I didn't like it much cause it was crowded and a lot of people were practicly naked. And a lot of the daddies wore teeny-tiny swimsuits that looked gross, but mom liked it cause Michel took us there."

"Michel?" my dad asks. "Girlfriend of your ma's?"

"No silly," I laugh. "Michel is a French man's name though it sounds all girly. He was driving a race on this wiggly mountain road and he took momma and me with him cause she was his best fan."

My dad just nods slowly, but he looks kinda far away.



"Daddy?"



"Yeah?" he says smiling again. "Let's go see how dinner's coming, ok?"



That's fine with me though I'm not feeling very hungry cause my tummy's got butterflies in it. But we all sit down and eat and it is really good cause steak is my favorite. And daddy eats his practically raw which Mom doesn't care except when I keep askin' for bites of his cause it's better. And I don't know why Momma should care if I eat my dinner like I'm supposed to, but it seems to aggravate (which means I'm annoying her) and she looks at daddy and he just smiles and he gives me the bloodiest piece and it's yummy delicious and Mom huffs and goes into the kitchen to make coffee.

I am so happy all night cause I have my mommy and daddy together and I talk and talk and Daddy seems to like it cause he smiles a lot and musses my hair which I don't like except when he does it. And Momma seems happy seeing us together and she always tells me I'm a lot like him so how can she like me and not like him too?

I know it is way past my bedtime cause the moon has been full for a long time. Mommy let's me stay up cause it's special but then she says bathtime and I know when she means business. I bathe with my safari animals which are fun but I can't take in my velvety lion cause he had soft fur and I bathed with him anyway and now he is all yellowy plastic and not so pretty anymore.

Momma usually gets me out and dries my hair, but I am all pruny and she still hasn't come in so I get my own towel cause I am six after all. I put on my nightgown and fluff my hair and walk quiet like into the kitchen. I hear my mom and dad "discussin" something.

"It is my damn business girl! When your draggin' my kid around with some Eurotrash dragracer!"

She is standin' with her hands on her hips staring up at him and he is two times her and could squish her like a grape and he knows it and she knows and she's still brave and I think Daddy likes that. I love my mom. My momma gives it right back to him.

"Who the hell are you to criticize me when I've raised her by myself for six years!"

My dads voice sounds thundery. "You left ME woman!"

"Like I had a choice, Vic!"


I stand all quiet in the corner and watch them. My mom turns to the sink and puts wine glasses next to it. Her head is hanging down and I think she's crying cause her shoulders are moving up and down. Her voice is real soft.

"I won't deny you to her anymore, Vic. She's your daughter and you should see her as much as you... and she, want."

Now my dad's voice is real soft. He stands behind her and pets her shoulders and arms and turns her around.

"You think this is just about Emma?"

My mom folds her arms across her chest like I do when I'm stubborn. "I said you could see her whenever you want."

"Damn right," Daddy says all growly. "She's my kid."

"Fine," Mommy says and tries to push around him. But his hands are on the counter around her and she can't even wiggle.

"Ya know what it felt like when I saw you in that park?" He's praticly whispering in her ear. "When I thought you were dead al that time? To find you...both of you? It felt like someone had spilled my guts all over the cement."

I think GROSS.

Daddy pushes closer to her.

"Birdy," he kinda sounds sad. "Ya know how you crush me?"

Who the heck is Birdy? My mom's name isn't Birdy.

Anyway. Momma musta thought that was romantic cause she puts her hands on his shoulders and he's been trying to kiss her and then finally she lets him.

And I guess they're like starvin' people cause all of a sudden they're kissin' like smoochin' was chocolate ice-cream with rainbow sprinkles and fudge sauce on it. And they gotta kiss everything...faces and lips and necks and shoulders...and they're makin' funny, breathy noises, and I feel kinda funny and they must hear me cause my mom suddenly pushes back and sees me and her hand hits the counter and a wine glass goes flying and crash!

My mom is cursing, "Shit! Shit."

My dad is chuckling, helping her pick up the glass pieces.

"Emma," my mom says actin' like a mommy again. "Time for bed. Say goodnight to your father and go pick out a story."

I run and hug my dad and he swings me up in his arms and I whisper "You're gonna be here when I wake up, right?"

Daddy smiles and winks at me and makes a little nod and puts me down. I skip to my room, cause I'm so happy and I'm smiling so big my face hurts. Momma comes in and I hand her my favorite book. She sighs

"Where The Wild Things Are?" She laughs a little. "Do you ever get tired of this book?"

"Never!" I giggle as I grab my favorite stuffed animal.

She reads me the book and turns on the nightlight not cause I'm 'fraid of the dark but in case I need to go potty. She kisses me goodnight.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Are we going to the beach with Daddy?"

"We'll see Emma. But for sure I'm gonna let you see him...a lot. He's your daddy and it's...time."

Mommy leaves and I try to go to sleep but I don't care if I ever sleep cause I'm too s'cited. I keep thinkin' about all of us being a family and spendin' the whole summer at the beach, and I keep fixin' my covers and fluffing my pillow and I still can't sleep. It's nite-time quiet and I hear sounds from Mommy's room. Like she's crying or laughing and Daddy's growling and I'm curious or scared and I get out of bed.

I tiptoe down the hall to Mommy's room and I'm real quiet cause I'm good at that and sometimes I get into trouble for sneakin' up on people which I think is fun I don't know why. The door is a little open and I squeeze through and hide behind the big plant in the corner.

Mommy and Daddy are in bed and he's laying on top of her and they're kissin' like crazy again and their arms and legs are all tangled 'cept for I can't see all their legs cause covers are on them. They both are all breathy and she's makin' little puppy whimpery noises and he's growling and they're bouncing aroun' like they are wressling.

And I'm not dumb 'cause I'm six already and I know what they're doin'.

They're mating.

I watch Animal Planet and I love animals and I know about mating and that's what animals do, too. And I know that bucks chase doe and Mommy takes me to the park with the swans and the geese and the ducks and the swans had a cygnet egg this spring and I think they're pretty but they are mean and Mommy says they mate for life and that's probably why. And the 'nother day there was a boy duck and a girl duck in the water and he was chasing her and biting her neck and then he climbed on her back and he was heavy cause she kept going under water and coming up lookin' like she had no breath. And he bit her neck and I could see a red blood spot and I was mad 'cause he was mean and Mommy said they were mating and I said why would the girl duck let the boy act like that and Mommy says it's just their way and nature made them that way.

And I said if I were a girl duck I woulda bit him back or pushed him down in the water. But the next day when we went back, the boy and girl duck were swimming by themselves at the end of the pond and they were real quiet and gentle with each other and she still had that bite on her neck and I don't understand. I kept askin' Mommy about it at home and I asked her if Daddy bit her neck when they made me and she said no and then she kinda thumped her head on the table over and over and asked me if I didn't want to play some video games on my new Nintendo and I said no 'cause it's boring.

So I know 'bout mating. Which means Mommy and Daddy are going to have a baby which means I'll finally have a baby sister or brother. But I'm frowning cause if the baby's a girl and acts all girly and prissy I won't like that. And if it's a boy then he would be more fun but then Daddy might like him better.

Mommy and Daddy are quiet now. Mommy is lying on Daddy and he's petting her hair and she's kissin' his chest and he says something that even my super-duper ears can't hear and it makes her smile and she touches his face and they both make a big sigh. And they whisper to each other for a while and I can't believe that they don't see me cause Momma can find me with her mind and Daddy could smell me or hear me but they don't cause they're just lookin' at each other. Which bothers me a little. And Daddy says something that makes Mommy's back stiffin' and she looks away and he nice-like pulls her face back to him with his hand. And then I hear him.

"I want both of ya. You're mine, she's mine." He says this all bossy and not like a question but I know it is cause he stops at the end an' waits cause he wants an answer.

And my Mommy looks at him real feelingful I think and she just says, "Ok."

And he makes a low rumbly laugh and hugs her and says,"Woman! That's the fewest words you've EVER had for me!"

And my Mommy drops her head to his chest and hugs him and nuzzles him like the deer do and she makes a sound that I never hear her make and it sounds girly and young.

She giggles.

And I think my Mom is happy.

They start that kissin' stuff again and my Daddy kisses her face and the front and side of her neck and she must like it cause she's gettin' noisy. He gets beside her still kissin' and then he is on her back but he's not squishin' her cause she is stretching her neck so he can kiss more of it and makin' happy sounds I think. They are wresslin' again and Daddy's hands are tangly in Momma's hair and the covers slip off the bed and I see my Dad's nekkid butt!

They are both real noisy and he's kissin' the back of her neck and...

I'm leavin' before he starts bitin' her.

I back out of the room and run on tippy-toe to my room. I jump in bed and pull the covers up quick and pretend to be asleep. I watch the clock and the big hand is on two and then three and then six and I think I'll never go to sleep.

Then I hear footsteps. And they're not Mommy's.

And I think I'm in trouble.

I pull the covers up to my face and make snory noises. I feel my Daddy sit on the bed.

"Ya can't pretend with me, kid."

I peek outta the covers and look at him with a little smile.

"You were spying on your ma and me?"

I gulp a little.

"I heard noises and I was scared and I was..."

"Curious," my dad intrupts me.

He smiles at me and musses my hair.

"Did we scare you?" he asks me.

Well, I'm not a dumb five year old and I know a lot and I sit up in bed. "I'm not a little kid," I tell him. "I know what you guys were doin."

"Yeah?" he chuckles at me.

"You were makin' babies!"

My dad laughs again. That big laugh that throws his head back and shows his teeth.

"Well, we were sure practicin'."

I feel like he's teasin' me and I make a face. He gets more serious.

"There are only two things you need to know about what goes on in your ma's and my bed," he says.

"One, it's private... so next time knock, okay?"

I do a quick nod.

"And two," he says "What we do in there makes us feel good and makes us...."

My dad didn't seem to know the word.

"Happy?" I finished for him.

"Yeah," he smiles. "Somethin' like that."

He picks up my lion Leo and gets a funny smile. He tucks him cozy next to me.

"Your ma thinks the beach vacation is a good idea. Sound okay to you?"

I am so happy I wanna jump up and dance right there. But I don't want him to think I'm a silly girl.

"Yeah," I say, "that's ok with me."

He smiles like he knows something I don't and he pats my hair and stands up.

I watch him leaving.

"Daddy..."

"Yeah?"

"G'night Daddy."

"G'night Emma."

After he leaves I stomp my feet real happy on the bed and hug my Leo tight. This is better than Cinderella and Snow White and my Daddy's back and we're goin' on vacation all summer. Vacation.

My smiles goes away.

I'm a silly dumb girl and I know what a vacation is and that's when you do something special and then life goes back to regular stuff. And we'll have lots of fun and then Daddy will go wherever Daddy's go for years and years. And he doesn't live with us and that's just the way it is so please quit askin' ok?

I hug Leo real tight and I love him cause he's as old as me and even with a chewed up tail he is my favorite. I snuggle up in my covers.

VA-CA-TION. And if Mommy forgets I'll remind her. Cause we can have lot's of fun and love and love people and they still go away. Cause after the summer Daddy will be gone and that's that. After summer he'll go away. I know he will. I think he will.

Probly.