Hi everyone! Thank you to all those people who took time to read my story, which is just about to get to the third chapter! I'm sorry I haven't updated as quickly as I had wanted to, but school right now is my biggest priority. Not to worry though, I have slowly made progress with my third, and certainly not least chapter, and will be putting it up soon! Just wait! :D
3 June 1874
I have yet to see Alice today. Ever since the day before yesterday's conversation, my mind has been intrigued with such dreams the last couple of nights…or nightmares it seems. Nurse D had already given Alice's morning dosage, and she should be quite calm. I just hope that I will be able to note even more information on this "Wonderland" which she allows her brain to dwell in.
Perhaps I could bring up the subject and wish for a somewhat pleasant response.
"Doctor Wilson"
"Yes, one moment." With one last scribble, the doctor placed down his pen and looked over to the old nurse. She raised her brows and said once again, "Doctor Wilson. Alice is asking for you." The doctor winced at the idea of her asking for him, then sighed and nodded. "Err, of course…yes, I will go see what she wants."
The doctor took his time walking through the lit, cream-colored hallways. Sounds of screeching men and women could be heard echoing through dead locked doors, but it was something to be used to. The Rutledge Institute was never for the faint hearted alike, however, the doctor feels that he is anxious lately. He stood in front of the door to Alice's room as Nurse D opened it.
Alice glanced with narrowed eyes and blinked. She was sitting on her bed, which was nicely made. The doctor noticed her hair was slightly dripping, and realized she must have had a bath. He blankly grinned and said, "Good morning Alice." Alice lifted her head, pieces of her hair was in her face as she grinned back quite awkward like the last time. He sat down on a wooden chair and groaned, and clapped his hands on his knees. The doctor sat looking at her, and Alice herself stared back. She did not blink, and when he did, he wrinkled his eyebrows, "…You wanted to see me?"
"Yes, Doctor Wilson." Alice said. She tilted her head to the side, "I visited the Rabbit today." She smiled, her teeth were perfectly straight. The doctor kept a blank look, but found his chest softly pounding, as if he thought she would pounce on him and attack. "The Rabbit? You talk of the rabbit which you drew a couple weeks ago, right?"
"Yes…did it please you?"
"Very much, Alice. Your drawings are interesting."
"…Interesting…he is much larger if you see him. Much like the size of you actually."
"The size of me? That is a rather tall rabbit."
"He is well dressed too. Did you like his watch?"
"Ye…" The doctor blinked and gave a surprised look. Alice grinned, digging her fingers into the sides of the bed. He almost laughed, but smirked and said, "Alice, I-ah," she looked away and stared at the yellow wall, and with one hand she began to fidget with her wrist's bandage. Funny how that time when she first cut herself on the wrists was months ago. Ever since then however, Alice fiddles with the stitches and opens the wounds all over again.
He said, "…That one day's conversation? About…Wonderland?" The doctor watched as Alice grinded her teeth, which then snorted and said; "It's not Wonderland anymore."
"No? Why is that?"
"That damned pig…the queen."
"Is she the queen of Wonderland?"
"…The Red Queen…of Heartsland."
"Did she make Wonderland the way it is?"
"YES!! And the bitch will DIE BECAUSE OF IT!"
"Alice, please calm down. Settle down now, all right?" He reached his hands out to her shoulders. Alice began to hyperventilate then calmed when he touched her. Red Queen, he thought. His train of thought tried to imagine the queen, but his mind came back when Alice shoved his hands off her shoulders. The doctor pulled back and saw that she was wiping her face. She was crying as she yelled. The doctor turned to hear knocking on the door. It was Nurse D holding a syringe. He shook his head and turned to see Alice staring at him with wide green eyes. "She killed too many, dear doctor. And she allowed even more to be killed by her wretched minions."
She glared at him fiercely and spoke through gritted teeth, "That's why I must find my way through the land I once loved and that she destroyed." He wrinkled his eyebrows once again, being pulled into her mind. In a way, he felt not only did he need to get into her thoughts, he wanted to as well. "And once you find your way…?" He said with narrowed eyes. Alice lowered her head and smiled. Just then the doctor leaned in to try and hear her voice as she said, "…The Red Queen will die."
At this she jumped out at him and grabbed his dress shirt yelling and screaming at him. "ASSISTANCE NOW! NURSE!" he yelled. Nurse D came in and gripped Alice tightly, wrapping her arms around hers and pulling back. The doctor had slid off the chair and stood up panting. He pushed the screeching Alice onto the bed as Nurse D began to strap her wrists. The doctor yelled over her screaming, "Alice please, you must calm down or else you will hurt yourself! Ali…!" At this Alice spit in his face and stopped yelling, but glared at him furiously. "Doctor!" Nurse D proclaimed. She finished strapping her down and stood behind the doctor, who wiped his cheek and nose with a handkerchief.
No matter how many times she attacks him, every single time he feels himself to be surprised and caught off guard. It's been so many years and yet, she can make him nervous. He looked down at Alice, who seemed to be holding back a laugh. When she did laugh, it echoed in the hallway, which roused other patients to laugh as well. Slightly flustered the doctor turned to Nurse D and muttered, "Another morning dosage." She nodded and took a syringe from her blouse pocket.
In his office, he began to write in his casebook more:
Every time I try to get closer to her world, she seems to see me trying and pushes away. Alice frustrates me at times when I feel my advances are working. Then she proves me wrong. She was given another dosage after I left.
This time she mentioned a queen. Alice cursed her, and felt furious when I tried to make her speak of the woman. A Red Queen. She called her the Red Queen of Heartsland. Could she be talking of the queen of hearts? Is this queen a card-like character? And if that's the case, could the other card suits be involved in Wonderland?
I need to understand Alice and her land if I want to free her of this frightening insanity.
The doctor groaned throwing down his pen and brushed a hand through his salt colored hair. "What is this, Heironymous? Why is it making sense all too well? Alice…today was not the day of progress. But one day, one day I'll get to you and I will understand your dreamlike agony." He scratched his bristled chin and stared down at his casebook, and then at the pen, which was leaking ink over the word insanity. The ink stopped leaking, and sank through the page covering up the letters ity in insanity.
The doctor dazed off then laughed softly to himself. At that, he decided to go home early. Driving home he thought of Alice's face when she spoke of Wonderland. How she cried, as if it was a real place she cared and loved. A real place. Everything she made in her mind that's in Wonderland is real to her. Even the rabbit. Alice, this is real. Do you know that? Do you understand?
He made himself dinner and sat down at his wooden table in front of a toasty fire. He stared into it and imagined again of what the Red Queen might look like. He imagined a plump looking old woman. Alice called her a pig before, so she might look like one. He laughed softly at the image, and ate another fork load of food. After dinner he sat on his bed after taking a bath. The doctor looked down at his watch and squinted in the lantern light. It was twelve o'clock. He was irritated with himself. Not sleeping means taking something to help him sleep. He didn't need that, especially when Alice is so close to saying more about Wonderland.
More drugs for him can make him feel off track and distracted from studies and paying attention to Alice. He told himself that he must sleep, and at that he slipped into the freezing cold bed and moved around to warm it up. Closing his eyes, he could see images of Alice's glaring face. He opened his eyes then sighed and closed them again. Go to sleep, Heironymous. Sleep.
…Stop doddling, Doctor! We must find the Rabbit! Hurry now! Come Heironymous! Off with her head! Heironymous! OFF WITH HER HEAD!
The doctor awoke with cold sweat on his face and neck. His sat up in his bed panting heavily. He had dream about Wonderland, and he saw Alice beckoning him to follow her through the gigantic flowers snapping their razor like teeth at them both. He uncovered himself from his blankets and walked to a large bowl of water he had on his dresser. He scooped some water into his hand and placed his face in it. The water was cold from the freezing weather, and it woke him up and brought him to reality in a way.
After he got dressed and combed his hair, he ate breakfast slowly. Midway through his post eggs he felt like he could gag and threw them away. The doctor drove to the institute's iron gates, and waited for the guards to open them, thinking about the idea of the suits of cards. He blinked and then drove through the opening as one of the guards said good morning to him. He waved back and parked next the main entrance.
Nurse D walked towards him as he approached his office and beckoned him to her. "Doctor, Alice tried to rip open her stitches." The doctor blinked as Nurse D gave him a concerned look. "Did she loose a lot of blood?"
"No I was watching her; it was after her dosage. She had her back turned, and she muttered something." He sighed turning the key he used to unlock his office door. He opened it, walked to the light switch and switched it on. Nurse D followed him to his desk while he asked, "Did you catch what she said?" She concentrated on remembering as the doctor placed his briefcase on the desk and began to open it and take out papers. Then she said, "She said something about a diamond guard. And throwing cards," The doctor stopped in his shuffling through his things and looked up at Nurse D and repeated, "Diamond guard?"
"Yes, but I…I don't understand exactly what that means. Huh! And throwing cards. My word, that must be a frightful bad experience to have your skin cut by cards."
"A deck of cards, possibly…" said the doctor. Nurse D blinked at him and said, "A deck of cards? Like playing cards? Oh my…but still, I don't understand why she ripped open her stitches. I gave her a few more milligrams of the potion though to calm her, Doctor." He nodded and took out his casebook and placed it gently on his desk. "I'll see her shortly. Remove her straps too, I think she'll be calm enough again." Nurse D walked out and down the hall. The doctor opened up the casebook and read a few entries when Nurse D peeked her head in the office and said, "Are you all right, Doctor?"
He looked up and said, "Eh, yes why?"
"You seem, tired…you almost have a dreamy look on your face. Did you sleep well?"
"Ah…sort of, I guess. I had a strange dream last night, that's all. Thank for your concern, though."
At that Nurse D grinned and went down the hall, and didn't come back. The doctor sighed, and thought about the dream. It was too real, it seemed. He remembered how Alice called him by his first name, Heironymous, in the dream. At that he laughed to himself, and realized she didn't know his first name. The dream felt less real, which comforted him. He left his office and walked down the same hallway he walked down for years on end. He heard the same mumbling nonsense from other patients, the screeching from another and laughter from yet another. In his thought, for that small moment, he felt in the pit of his stomach there could be no hope for Alice, even if she conquers over her hate towards the queen.
No, I must not give up. I have to ask more, he thought. He entered Alice's room once more, seeing her drawing on a piece of paper. She licked the side of her mouth like a cat, making it seem she was concentrating on her art. The doctor walked closer to her when she whipped her hand out in front of him and said in a demanding tone, "I am not finished, dear doctor. You'll have to wait there."
"Good morning, Alice."
"Shh…he's sleeping."
"Hm? He?" She rolled her eyes and pointed to her stuffed rabbit doll lying limp next to her. He nodded and walked towards the chair. Alice looked up at him, making sure he wasn't going to look at the drawing. He looked back, and then looked away again. He brought the chair over in front of her, as she colored madly then stopped and sighed. She looked up at him and smirked handing the picture to him. The doctor looked at her wrist, and saw blood had seeped through the gauze slightly. He figured that that was the wound she reopened, and took the picture from her.
Alice watched him turn the piece of parchment around, then smiled wildly as he studied the drawing. The doctor stared at the picture in amazement. It was a picture of what seemed to be the Red Queen. But, it was far from what he had imagined last night. How could Alice hate someone so beautiful and happy looking? And besides, what was stranger was that this picture was unlike the rest Alice has drawn. It was pleasing to the eye, like looking at a picture by Monet. He grinned, looking at every detail. She was a young queen, hair tied back in a tight bun, with jewels shaped like hearts around her neck and on her dress.
It was the Red Queen…but it was confusing. He looked up at Alice, who looked back at him with raised brows, waiting for him say something. "This is…a very beautiful drawing, Alice. You've outdone yourself."
"You mean she's beautiful, right?" He stared at her and said, "…Yes. Ravishing" Alice giggled and folded her hands, "That one's yours then. Since you like it so much." The doctor grinned and nodded thank you, and placed it on the bed where she sat. He looked at her and said, "Alice, I must discuss to you about your accident this morning."
"Yes, yes. With the guard. Damned Diamonds. But they're the least of my worries."
"Diamonds? I suppose you are referring to the suit?"
"…You're catching on, Doctor Wilson. Yes, the guards are of the diamond suit. Nasty buggers too. No matter though, my cards can slice through them faster, and harder. It's the heart guards that I have to watch for, Doctor. They have bomb staffs."
"So they throw cards at you? And they slice through your skin?"
"I like to call it the 52 pickup, but yes. That's how this happened." She pointed to her wrist, which she had wounded a second time. He nodded as Alice shrugged and went on, "Since that, I got into the skool. I saw another diamond guard and got him with a croquet ball! Right in the nose!" She laughed, as if she was playing the actual sport of croquet. The doctor smirked then wrinkled his forehead and said, "You went in a school?"
"No, a skool, Doctor. S K O O L. In there I have to find the ingredients to help me get small."
"Small? How small?"
"I wish to get this small, dear doctor." She almost touched her forefinger to her thumb. He raised his brows and said, "That is quite small, Alice."
"Not really. I need to get small to follow the rabbit so we can get the queen."
"Yes. So the picture you drew for me. That is, the Red Queen?"
"It was her. I never saw her that way, though. Her sister showed me a picture of her a long time ago."
"Wait. A sister?" The doctor realized this was something she was keeping from him, because she frowned and looked at the drawing. "Yes. Her sister the Queen of Spades." He was beginning to be more intrigued with every word at that moment. So the other suits are involved, he thought. But she didn't say much before about them during the days when she just started to talk about Wonderland. "Alice? What's wrong?"
"Many things happened before I came to Wonderland. It's a long tale."
"Could you tell me, Alice?"
"…I…I don't," She clasped her hands to the sides of her forehead and gritted her teeth. The doctor said, "Alice, you don't have to if you're not comfortable."
"No…no, Doctor Wilson. I know what you want." She looked at him from one eye. He said, "…Do you, Alice? What if I'm just curious? I want to hear your story out of plain curiosity. Is that something wrong?" He stared at her, and she glared then said, "All right then. I have to remember. It was so long ago."
"Try to remember. Take it slow if you must."
"Stop babbling, doctor, and I might remember better."
"Alice. Please be more mannered."
"…I will start when Wonderland was separated into four different and equal kingdoms."
"It's one right now, yes? Ruled by the Red Queen?"
"Doctor Wilson. You must be mannered as well and stop interrupting me." At this the doctor smiled at Alice and crossed his leg over the other and leaned back on his chair. Thus, Alice began her story.