author's note: i'm baaacccckkkk.

welcome to the Hang Ups, so justly titled as a "hang up" is to cause or have emotional disabilities or inhibitions. it's the first sequel i've ever written, i'm beyond excited for it, because all my sexual reviewers and because i love the relationship between Sadie and James. i literally never want to stop writing them. so, here goes. i hope you babes love it, because i'm in love with you.

read on!

HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR.
2012 will be kind to you, babes.

review question: how was your holiday season?
disclaimer: i don't own big time rush.

the Hang Ups
chapter one
everyone's feelings.

He was so painfully aware of the erection in his pants, when James Diamond woke up, that he almost wanted to cry. He felt like a prepubescent version of himself, helplessly laying in his bed contemplating masturbating or just taking a cold shower. He groaned, his head underneath a pillow. James wasn't normally one to ignore an erection, but he had to be in the studio in thirty minutes, and Kendall would no doubt barge in and remind him. He wasn't prepared to face that awkward situation, not after the night he had. One blonde, a brunette, and a girl with what James remembered having pink hair - but he was too drunk to think straight by the time he'd struck out with her. For the most part, the club he and Kendall went to was a blur, but he knew that he went to bed alone, despite his best efforts. It was the biggest blow to his ego, and he'd had a relationship with Sadie Grant.

He blamed her for most everything. His lack of concentration, in work and day to day tasks. Last week, he'd nearly cut off his finger trying to make dinner for himself and Kendall. He also blamed Sadie for his current hatred for the guy he'd considered his best friend for basically his whole life. Kendall was getting laid, Kendall had relationships, Kendall was happy. Not to say James was miserable, he wasn't. But Kendall was living the life of a bachelor, the life James - at twenty-one - wished he had. James also wished he could forget Sadie, it was the only thing he thought about. Forgetting Sadie Grant. He only hoped his life could be as simple as a Jason Segal movie, but it was anything but. He was growing up, and beyond that, James was starting to realize that life wasn't always sunshine and fucking daisies. Life was a bitch.

Mostly, he spent his days browsing the internet. He watched videos on YouTube like it was crack, different movies on Netflix. If he wasn't doing that, he was at the gym. And when the guys convinced him to go out and actually be social, James obliged and put on his best to mingle. It was the least exciting his life had ever been, when it should have been the exact opposite. Summer was approaching, or it was here. He wasn't too clear on the official day, but either way it was going to be a good one, he knew it would be. Something inside James groin promised him that. Thinking he was past wet dreams and morning wood, James pulled himself from his bed and scurried as fast as one could to his bathroom across the hall.

The shower blared, like one million pebbles hitting his head. James didn't think he'd be this hung over, but he had to drink to get through the night of never-ending rejection. With another, strained, held out groan, James stepped inside the cool water and just breathed, standing with his hand bracing himself against the wet shower wall. He closed his eyes for the longest time, just letting every thought pass by without dwelling on them. Should he make coffee? Should he even bother putting thought into what he was going to wear today?

This was the moment, James always thought, that he knew his life needed a swift kick in the balls. He needed change, to turn around his current, dubbed hopeless, situation. It was that moment when you reflect and you think, "Well, fuck, this is my life now." James guessed he had until his forties before that moment actually hit him, but, like always, he was wrong in assuming.

However, with all the said, as jumbled as his thoughts were, James was sick of feeling sorry for himself. He was tired of moping and whining and not getting laid as often as he'd like. He was tired of relying on Sadie for his happiness, because she was not putting out in any sort of way. She left him, and James needed to get over it.

Today was the day. His mission? The studio. The grocery store. Forget about fucking Sadie Grant.

James felt too much like an adult, in this moment. The elevator music version of a familiar song played throughout the nearly barren grocery store. He pushed his cart down aisle after aisle, humming along mindlessly and picking up different soups, cereals and - he and Kendall's favorite - Ramen Noodles. They'd adopted a healthy diet, moving out on their own; living like poor college kids by choice. He sighed, squeezing between a woman's children, their cart and the other side of the aisle. This was supposed to be Kendall's job. James did the laundry, Kendall got the food. But, of course, he'd found a way out of it, just like he'd find a way out of his end of the deal - doing the laundry for the next two weeks. James often thought if he'd made the right roommate choice, Logan and Carlos didn't have these problems, but he honestly could only see himself living with one other person, happily. He wished, every day, that he didn't still think about her as much as he did. But, she was still just as much a part of him as she ever was. Sadie Grant would never leave James' head, his thoughts or his heart, and it was beyond unfortunate.

He went on dates, occasionally, and most of them ended in sex - but that was it. It was sex. Pure, unadulterated sex. And while, at one point in his life, that was all James wanted, he needed something more. Mental stimulation, for one. Hollywood was full of beautiful girls, but it was also full of beautiful bimbos who had nothing more intelligent to talk about than the latest Kardashian fiasco. Needless to say, James wasn't too happy with his situation. The boys were back in the studio, writing and recording and keeping themselves busy. It took up most of his time, and he was glad for that, but Gustavo was starting to get annoyed with James' lyricism. Broken hearted ballads, "I'm getting over you" dance anthems. While some of them were good, most of them consisted of Sadie's name, so they were deemed unusable. It was when James suggested naming the whole album after her that everyone decided they needed a little break.

So, here he was. Shopping, like a fucking grown up, at the corner grocer for Ramen, Pop Tarts and Red Bull. He didn't know why he bothered getting a shopping cart, it was practically empty. He could hear the sliding doors behind him open, something crashing, an eruption of giggling and a quick apology, but James ignored it, singing, "If it isn't love, why do I feel this way."

The giggling continued and a circuit in James' mind flicked on. He raised an eyebrow, was that what he thought it was? He'd heard that laugh before, a million times before. While watching Megan Fox tear apart boys, or Bradley Cooper try to find his friend in Las Vegas. It was so recognizable to him, but he shook his head. It was the song, the song finally clicked and he was thinking of her because of it. Still, his conscience got the best of him, and James had to prove himself wrong. He didn't turn to look, but he crept to the end of the aisle and peeked down the neighboring one, hidden behind a display of Lucky Charms. There were two girls, picking up cereals and still laughing. It couldn't be, and it wasn't.

They both had incredibly short hair, one blonde and straight, with bright, blue eyes. But the one he was looking at, the one all his focus was on couldn't have been who he thought it was. Her hair was barely to her shoulders, dark and impossibly curly. If James knew anything about her, it was that she loved her hair too much to chop it off. It bounced, like hers always did, the girl in the store, but there was something off about it. He caught a glimpse of the side of her face and James was trying his best to be inconspicuous. Her lips were painted red, her make-up reminded him of a 1940s glamour girl. She looked absolutely beautiful, but that wasn't what sold him.

His eyes wandered, down and down, and then fell upon something unmistakable. Those jeans, and not just the jeans, what was packed in them. James smirked, holding onto the tower of cereal. She lifted her arms over her head, stretching. The short, cropped top she wore lifted and revealed the tattoo James had seen so many times. It was her. But James had only a moment to revel in the moment, and as the Leprechaun's came hurdling towards him, what he thought to be true was confirmed completely. Both girls looked at him, the one with her back to him smirking and laughing. James scrambled to stand up, brushing off his clothes and looking directly at her, "Sadie."

She smirked at him, her bright lips lifting only on the right side, and her voice came out like a song. "James Diamond."

How in the fuck was she being so casual. James didn't know, completely, if he wanted to sock her in the face – as her best friend – or kiss her – as her hopelessly devoted, Sandy in Grease ex-boyfriend. So he just stared at Sadie for a moment, before she raised that perfectly sculpted eyebrow underneath her bangs. James shook his head, bringing himself back to the conversation he'd planned for the last year, then something else came out, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Missed you too, James." Sadie scoffed, smirking. James hated her more than he ever thought he could, just then. She was reverting back, Sadie was herself – the version he'd originally met. And, while he loved that, he admired that part of her, James wanted Sadie three months in. James wanted his girlfriend, Sadie. "If you must know –"

"I think I have a fucking right to know, Sadie." The girl she was with, James didn't recognize, but she stepped towards her – almost protectively – at that comment. James couldn't handle to chicks at once, outside of the bedroom.

"Christ, James. Why do you have to be so hostile?" Sadie bit, glaring right back at him. She felt uncomfortable, enough, she wasn't about to let James act like a total dick. Sadie Grant was better than that. She was different than James remembered, more than just her hair had changed. In his defense, however, James had every right to be pissed at Sadie – even hate her – and she knew that. She just didn't expect him to actually be like this. This was James, circa their break up. Sadie wanted James, her boyfriend. James Diamond, the playboy who was a God in the sack, but had the biggest heart. She shoved her hands in her back pockets and regained her casual composure, though she knew it was making James all the more livid, "I wanted to tell you."

"Tell me what? That you were just going to pack up and leave before I got back?" James scoffed, "Or that you decided to come back?"

"Honestly, both. But, you're a hard popstar to reach, anonymously. And, you were right, I'm too chicken shit to admit anything." She hoped that would lighten the mood of the conversation that took an immediate turn for the worst.

"You said you knew, Sadie." James tone was quieter, because he knew the girl behind his girl was tuning in like they were a fucking One Tree Hill rerun. He was almost offended. He didn't know this chick, and even if Sadie did, she had no right to be standing there with the same proud smirk Sadie normally wore, "Who is this?"

Sadie turned, looked at the blonde, then shrugged at James, "My roommate, Allie. She's a psych major at UCLA."

"You're at UCLA?" James titled his head back.

"It's no NYU, but they've got a pretty killer dance program." Sadie explained, a hand running through her hair. She wished this was different. She wished she'd had the courage to call him months ago, but her own confidence tended to betray her when she needed it the most. "And, before you say it, I know what you're thinking. I'm a sellout, yeah."

James' expression softened, "Not at all. I'm…good for you, Sades."

Her head jolted up at that. Her old nickname sounded so foreign, but painfully familiar. She smiled a bit and nodded, "Thanks."

It fell silent for a second. It seemed like the entire grocery store was empty, but James and Sadie and they didn't dare ruin that. For that moment, they were them. They were together, together. He looked down at his shopping cart, the white-knuckled hold he had on the bar seemed a bit crazy now that he'd calmed. But James didn't loosen it, he just shook his head, "Sadie, I don't want to do this here."

"Do what?"

"We're going to have to work this out, you know?" James looked back up, his hair in his eyes. He knew what Mamma Knight would say, that he needed a hair cut, which is one of the many reasons he was happy to not be living with her anymore, despite how much he loved her. "I'm not about to have a conversation like that in a grocery store."

"James."

"Sadie, it's unavoidable."

"Don't force this on me, alright. I'm…" She breathed, "I'm not ready to go back to this." Her hand gestured between them and James' chest fell. What the fuck was happening. This was destroying his checklist for the day and he was pissed about it. Ten minutes ago, Sadie Grant was in Maine – at least to James. And now, now she was standing here, rejecting him so casually. He fucking hated her; he hated her so much he loved her. It didn't make sense, and James had yet another reason to be pissed. This day was not ending well. Sadie continued, "I'm happy, I'm moving on. I have friends." She pointed to Allie, "Real friends. And, I'm not stressing. We just…need to ease our way into whatever is going to happen."

"Yeah?" James laughed, bitterly, glaring back at Allie who looked at him over a box of Captain Crunch, "What is that, exactly?"

"Well, the inevitable conversation you preach of." Sadie smiled, "I'm trying to be mature about this, because I do want to be friends with you, James, honestly. I just can't do that now. I can't see you now."

"How much fucking time do you need, Sadie?" James didn't much appreciate the feeling that he was the only one fighting for this. He tilted his head back in exasperation, "It's been a fucking year. Do you know how fucking miserable I've been?"

He sounded pathetic, and Sadie knew that if she was sharing how she felt – just like James was – she'd spew out the same exact words. Because she was miserable. Sadie was dying inside, because she wanted nothing more than to be able to jump back into their relationship and pretend like she hadn't fucked up. But if the therapy Sadie's parents forced her into over the summer taught her anything, it was that she needed to pace herself, she had to keep herself at a steady pace. Mentally, emotionally. Sadie sighed, "I'll text you, James. I've got to go."

And then she left. Sadie just left James, again, and he didn't know if he was more upset being abandoned in a cereal isle or whilst on tour. Either way, he was furious. Sadie had to know it wasn't over for him, because James knew it wasn't over for her. James was a Sadie Grant, card carrying expert, damn it. He sighed, picked up a box of Cocoa Puffs and chucked it into his cart, watching as Sadie pulled Allie out of the aisle and out of the store.

The blonde sat in the drivers seat of her Sedan, hands at 10 and 2 like a damn responsible driver, "So, does being mature include not telling him you're in a committed relationship, or does that fall under another category."

Sadie glared at her friend, "Shut the fuck up, Allie. That was difficult enough, alright? I don't need your shit."

"And PJ doesn't need yours, Sadie." Allie sighed, "Look, I don't doubt you when you say James is a great guy, I never did. But he's baggage, that's all. You don't have a future with him. And, you know, maybe you don't have a future with PJ either, but you owe it to him and you owe it to James –"

"Allie, the psycho babble needs to cease. Shit, my fucking luck," Sadie groaned, "I get roomed with a fucking shrink-in-training."

Allie laughed, quietly and pulled onto the highway. She glanced at Sadie out of the corner of her eye. Sadie smiled back and chuckled. But, when their easy laughs stopped, Sadie's head was pressed against the glass window of the green Sedan and her mind was on fire. She couldn't stop thinking, not that anyone could. And not that she wanted to. Because, in the recesses of Sadie Grants mind was James Diamond, where he always stayed. She saw him at the Palm Woods, in the pool, at the park, in her apartment and she felt her heart skip multiple beats. Sadie's flashbacks would be ideal for a Taylor Swift video and it was killing her.

She wasn't what he wanted anymore, because Sadie was hardly Sadie. Her shrink had her on medications, plural. It was like she was a shell. Sure, Sadie was ever-sarcastic and hopelessly hard-headed, but she wasn't nearly as standoffish or bitchy. Sadie made friends easily, she wasn't only after sex and Sadie had PJ Tomley. Their relationship was normal, a normal healthy courtship that she could handle, because PJ was a gentleman.

But, within that relationship, she knew she wasn't over James. Because, PJ wasn't PJ's actual name, no, of course not. PJ stood for Patrick James. James. She couldn't escape it, him. But she was trying, and that's all she could do. Patrick James Tomley made Sadie Noelle Grant's shell happy as it could be.

Still, it had been said before.

She knew.

Sadie knew.

James? He knew.

Nothing was over. And even if Allie didn't see it, James was Sadie's only future.