Synopsis (fixed) : Nagato's and Konan's marriage makes other members of Akatsuki jealous because they have failed having relationships. Konan suggests them go to the mage world to seek girls for dates. She tells them a city called Magnolia has tons of beautiful girls. Nagato then gives them money and tells them to exchange it with jewels and use them when they are dating. Kakuzu saves his part for himself. Akatsuki members (except Nagato and Konan) then go to Magnolia by train since Deidara refuses to create a transport and they don't know the route. On their way they meet motion-sick Natsu and Happy who has just finished their mission.

SPOILER ALERT! : I Must Remind You That This Story is Parody and Romance! Don't Expect to See All The Chara Behave Exactly Like They Are in Cannon! And Don't Expect to See Much Action!

-oOo-

CHAPTER 1 (fixed) :

"Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boooooy! We're gonna date some hot chicks in Magnolia! Tobi is excited!" Tobi expressed his excitement.

"Shut the hell up, Tobi!" Deidara told Tobi to shut up. And then he turned to Natsu and Happy. "...by the way, Natsu and Happy. Are you serious? There are tons of pretty girls in your town and... umm... guild?"

Natsu hardly replied "Lucy and Erza…. *gulp*… are good-looking… *gulp* but... *gulp* I am bored with Erza..*urk*..." he couldn't answer properly due to his motion sickness.

Happy spoke up to explain more, "Well, I personally don't think they are pretty since I'm not a human but since the men in our world think so, I guess you will think the same. The girls in our town and guild basically describe what male otaku want to see in anime!"

Hearing that, Sasori started his challenge with Deidara, "Let's see which art will attract girls, Deidara!"

"I will win this competition, master. My explosions will impress them. Hmmm.." Deidara didn't seem afraid to bet. He and Sasori got involved in word exchanges.

"I will impress Fairy Tail's girls with my solid creations!" said Sasori.

Deidara replied, "I will set girls on fire with my art!"

"I will take girls' breath away with my art!" Sasori replied.

"I will steal girls' hearts!... and money." suddenly Kakuzu stepped in. He wanted to praise himself too.

"Yeah, all literally..." said Kisame in sarcasm, hearing their comrades' ambitions.

Deidara still boasted, "My art is a bang. I will be blowing up with it when I find my girl. Hmmm.."

"You must be horny now, Deidara." Sasori replied, mocking his younger rival.

"You may think you will impress girls in the mage world with ninjutsu..." White Zetsu spoke up.

"...but you will have to prepare yourselves to be impressed by their magics." Black Zetsu continued his counterpart's words.

Hidan looked disgusted. "Magic... heh! That's heresy. I will convert a female mage. I will make her my obedient follower."

"And scare her with your chopped head, blood licking, and self-stabbing ritual to punish a sinner." Kakuzu replied in sarcasm.

"Damn' you, Kakuzu! Are you mocking my religion, you sinful materialistic bastard?!" Hidan got offended.

"Indeed." said Kakuzu honestly. "I have no religious reason to date. I hope I will find a rich girl who can pleasure me. Or maybe there is a girl who possesses some magic to bring money and gold."

"Money and magic… the things that I and my God hate the most. I swear I will convert at least one girl from the mage world and make her confess my religion and worship my God." Hidan spoke his mind.

"Guys, you fantasize too much." Kisame warned them, "you will be very very disappointed when you've failed to achive your goals when you are overconfident."

Unexpectedly, Itachi spoke up, "That's okay, Kisame. I am honestly sick of acting cool. This time I want to open up and pursue. I need a lover who can make my life warmer and brighter. I killed my girlfriend during the Uchiha clan massacre. She loved me so much. I felt the same way she did. Now I am lonely. I knew I shouldn't have done it but I had no other options better. But I promise to myself this time I will change. I won't kill and hurt my second love..."

"Heh, now the coolest member speaks up his thoughts. I thought you only talked much when you recruited a new member." Deidara replied to Itachi. He expressed his disgust toward him. Sasori also showed his disgust toward him, "Who wants to date you if you keep acting cool..."

"Especially since you were caught watching a porn video." Deidara mocked Itachi again. And Sasori did that too, "You are a perverted maniac who acts gentle and romantic. I know you expressed your fetishes during the Uchiha clan massacre."

Sasori and Deidara laughed. They laughed at Itachi but he didn't give a damn. He kept acting cool and calm. Seeing that, Kisame tried to make him look higher than those two guys who mocked him.

"Itachi attracted so many girls and women when he lived in Konoha. I guess he will attract many too in Magnolia." said Kisame, praising his partner.

"Not just girls and women." Orochimaru told everyone. "I was interested in your body too, Itachi. But you turned me down. You didn't let me use your body and now you are lonely."

"Of course he rejected you!" Sasori responded Orochimaru's words. "Nobody is interested in a man who can vomit snakes and release a very long sword from his mouth, is addicted to forbidden ninjutsu drugs, and switches bodies several times."

"And which chick is attracted by a half-puppet man with a battery as his heart?"

"At least I am handsome. I am one of the best-looking male chara. Girls will be attracted by my handsomeness and my puppet shows, while you will scare girls when you offer rides with your giant snakes!"

"Calm down, guys." White Zetsu told his comrades. "We all don't describe normal humans. Akatsuki is a club for monsters. Why are you acting as if we were normal humans?"

"No normal humans are allowed to join our organization. Every member is far from being a normal human." Black Zetsu continued his counterpart's words.

But then Deidara tried to mock Itachi again, "Even the one who looks most like a normal human killed his own family, friends, and lover and still acts cool and calm..."

Suddenly Happy interrupted their conversation, "Guys. Sorry for interrupting. We are almost there. Look at the window. That is Magnolia's train station. I and Natsu are going back to our guild. You go with us. I will be your guide. As for the payment I want..."

"Say it's my body again I will slice you and cut your body into pieces!" Kisame threatened Happy not to demand for his body as payment just because he is a fish(man).

"Aah... sorry!" Happy looked really scared, "That's not your body! That's other fish! It's my fault! I made a mistake... sorry!"

The train arrived in Magnolia's train station. It stopped moving, much to make Natsu return to his well condition.

"Finally, it's over! I am free from this transport's torture!" Natsu cheered his return, "Now let's return to our guild, Happy. You too dark cloak guys."

Tobi responded in excitement "Coooool! Tobi is going to date! Tobi is mature! Tobi is good-looking! There will be many girls attracted by Tobi's handsome face!"

Hearing him say that, Deidara responded, "Since when anyone ever sees your face?"

Akatsuki, Natsu, and Happy got off the train. They were heading for Fairy Tail's office.

To Be Continued...

NOTE FROM AUTHOR :

Actually this chapter was originally written in Simple Present Tense and its format was chat/script. But to avoid breaking a rule, I converted it into novel style. I had no problem converting Simple Present Tense into Simple Past Tense since its not so much difficult, and stories are told in Simple Past Tense. But changing this chapter's format was really tiring.