I can't stay away for long! Casually procrastinating from my dissertation by writing a story. Enjoy!
The Guardians of Time world and characters belong to Marianne Curley, to who I am very thankful for making me fall in love with this couple again every time I read the books.
Arkarian
From the moment I met her, I knew there was something. It was like a kick in the gut and seeing the most beautiful view of my life at the same time. I tried to ignore it, pass it off – she was so young, so innocent, deserved so much better than me – but I also did nothing to stop it, so I didn't exactly help matters. I could have told Ethan to ask her to mind her thoughts – it would have been easy enough and probably save her the humiliation when she did find out. But I didn't.
I don't think it makes me a bad person that I enjoyed hearing her thoughts... while being more than glad she couldn't hear mine. At that time, I found my feelings easier to ignore, but there were fleeting thoughts, moments where our eyes met and nothing else mattered. But then one of us would look away and leave the other wondering if it was just imagination.
It wasn't, of course. It took us both long enough to realize that. Once she found out I was a Truthseer, she guarded her thoughts much better. It was easier to persuade myself that it was just me – despite that little ache deep in my stomach when she wasn't around, how much I thought about her. When I brought her back from the middle world after her heart stopped, I vowed to myself that she must not know.
I betrayed myself with those words that slipped past my lips, "I will die for you."
It was truth, and she knew it. She acknowledged it, thought about it, but did not dispute it. She knew that I would, and she wondered why, but she did not ask. For that, I was glad. It would be too difficult to explain.
It was hard, fighting Marduke and his people with her so close. I wanted to hover by her while she healed Shaun and make sure nobody went near her, but I couldn't. It made me sloppy, distracted. I had to force myself to concentrate.
It only got worse from then. When we went on the mission together to France, and I kissed her head while she slept, I felt complete. I felt whole, for the first time in my six hundred years. I loved her, with all my heart and soul. I would die for her without even a second thought. And when we traveled back, and I was taken from the Citadel by Marduke and his Wren, all I could think was: please not her. Please, please leave her.
The rest is a blur to me now. The beatings, the time spent half-awake, bleeding, pain, tired. So, so tired... and then there was light, everything focused again, and she was there. I remember it so clearly: placing my hands over hers, soft words, she was incredible. And I put my forehead against hers, our lips met and it was like fireworks. Every other good memory or good moment in my life faded into the background.
And then it all came crashing down.
Matt was right. I made my excuses, and I could see in her eyes how it hurt – I wanted to tell her it was for her, I had to do this so she could live her life. She couldn't with me. But seeing the hurt in her eyes made my decision, so it was with purpose I went to Lorian – to my father – and asked him to remove my agelessness.
Instead, he granted me so much more.
And here we are.