This is something I posted here a while back and was actually my biggest
hit, but it was removed from fanfiction.net because it had a NC-17 rating.
But now I realize it is ok to use an R rating for a story such as this.
This is the story that led to Piccolo's World, although they don't really
have anything to do with each other.
When Goku Gets High
Goku was watching T.V. when there was a knocking on his door. He opened it and immediately knew something was going on. Piccolo's turbine was on crooked and his eyes looked funny.
"Uh, hey, Piccolo," Goku said. "What brings you here?"
"Is that woman here?" Piccolo asked.
"Who? Chi Chi?"
Piccolo sounded quieter then usual. "Yeah, Chi Chi."
"No, she's out shopping, why?"
Piccolo lifted a blunt. "Try this."
Goku's eyes widened. "Where'd you get that?"
"Who cares? Take it."
Goku shook his head. "Smoke is bad for your health, and I gotta stay healthy."
"You got this stuff all wrong. It's GOOD for your health."
Goku's eyebrows rose. "It is?"
"Hey, I'm Piccolo," he said pointing to himself. "Would I lie?"
"You have a point. I guess I could try it once."
Piccolo's face brightened. "You won't regret it. You, uh, better come out here."
They walked outside and Piccolo handed the blunt to him: "Here. It's lit already."
Goku looked at it and shook his head. "No, on second thought, I don't think I should."
"Goku, trust me. Besides, is the greatest fighter in the universe afraid of one puff?"
"Just one?"
"Just one."
Goku closed his eyes and took a puff. He immediately began coughing. Piccolo rolled his eyes when Goku tried to hand it back. "I said one puff. You didn't even do that much. Try again."
Goku tried again. It was better but he started coughing again. "Again," Piccolo ordered.
Goku wasn't a failure. He wanted to succeed. He would try until he got it right. Three blunts later he did, and he wasn't normal. Goku's eyes were bloodshot and wide. He looked down at his hands. Piccolo had a "What the fuck?" look.
"Piccolo, what's happening to me?"
"Uhhh. . . ."
"I can't see straight. Everything sounds far away."
"Calm down. You're talking too loud," Piccolo said while putting the blunt in his mouth.
Goku couldn't. He was staggering. Piccolo took a hit and blew the smoke in Goku's face. Goku screamed like something was attacking him, and Piccolo began to laugh insanely. Goku joined him.
Several blunts later. . . .
Both of them had smoked several blunts and joints, all courtesy of Piccolo. Goku had gotten the hang of it, and both were really fucked up!
"Did you see that?" Piccolo said pointing to a tree. "I just saw it move!"
Goku ignored that and said, "Piccolo, did you ever notice that you're, well, green?"
Both burst out laughing, and Goku said, "You look like a pickle!"
That made them laugh even more. This went on for several minutes.
"Hey, remember when Nappa killed you? That was funny huh?"
Piccolo stopped laughing and simply said, "Not really."
Goku stopped laughing as well. "Oh."
By now they were both sitting on the ground. For ten minutes there was silence, and then Piccolo suddenly burst out laughing. Goku followed.
Nighttime.
Both of them sat by a large lake and there was a fire in between them. They both were hypnotized by the fire. Large animal skeletons and hundreds of empty canteens sat around them.
"Hey Piccolo," Goku said while not taking his eyes off the fire.
"Yeah?"
"Where the hell are we?"
"Uhhh. . ."
Goku finished eating the meat off one of the animals and turned to Piccolo. "Huh?"
"What?"
"I said, 'Huh?'."
"Oh, I see. Quite interesting Goku."
Goku rubbed his stomach. "Well Piccolo, I'm gonna go home and eat. All that just wasn't enough for me," Goku said.
"Yeah, okay."
Goku flew off, leaving Piccolo, who didn't take his eyes off the fire, behind. Piccolo lit another blunt.
***
Oh, it wasn't the end of the tale. Goku went home and forgot to eat for some reason. He went straight to sleep instead. The next morning there was a knocking on his door, and none other then Piccolo was at his doorstep, holding a box.
"Hey Piccolo, what's in the box?" Goku asked.
"Allow me to show you," Piccolo replied.
He opened it and it was filled with weed. Nice, wonderful weed.
"Wow," Goku said.
"Yeah, well, it's Round 2. I even got my pipe."
Goku hesitated. "I don't think I should. . . ."
"Goku, it's harmless. I've already proven that to you."
"Well. . . ."
Piccolo held up his pipe. Nameks don't lie, Goku."
Goku took the pipe. "All right then!"
THE END. . . for now.
---
Indeed, this was written almost a year before Piccolo's World. There is more to this story, and I hoped you got a good laugh. Later.
When Goku Gets High
Goku was watching T.V. when there was a knocking on his door. He opened it and immediately knew something was going on. Piccolo's turbine was on crooked and his eyes looked funny.
"Uh, hey, Piccolo," Goku said. "What brings you here?"
"Is that woman here?" Piccolo asked.
"Who? Chi Chi?"
Piccolo sounded quieter then usual. "Yeah, Chi Chi."
"No, she's out shopping, why?"
Piccolo lifted a blunt. "Try this."
Goku's eyes widened. "Where'd you get that?"
"Who cares? Take it."
Goku shook his head. "Smoke is bad for your health, and I gotta stay healthy."
"You got this stuff all wrong. It's GOOD for your health."
Goku's eyebrows rose. "It is?"
"Hey, I'm Piccolo," he said pointing to himself. "Would I lie?"
"You have a point. I guess I could try it once."
Piccolo's face brightened. "You won't regret it. You, uh, better come out here."
They walked outside and Piccolo handed the blunt to him: "Here. It's lit already."
Goku looked at it and shook his head. "No, on second thought, I don't think I should."
"Goku, trust me. Besides, is the greatest fighter in the universe afraid of one puff?"
"Just one?"
"Just one."
Goku closed his eyes and took a puff. He immediately began coughing. Piccolo rolled his eyes when Goku tried to hand it back. "I said one puff. You didn't even do that much. Try again."
Goku tried again. It was better but he started coughing again. "Again," Piccolo ordered.
Goku wasn't a failure. He wanted to succeed. He would try until he got it right. Three blunts later he did, and he wasn't normal. Goku's eyes were bloodshot and wide. He looked down at his hands. Piccolo had a "What the fuck?" look.
"Piccolo, what's happening to me?"
"Uhhh. . . ."
"I can't see straight. Everything sounds far away."
"Calm down. You're talking too loud," Piccolo said while putting the blunt in his mouth.
Goku couldn't. He was staggering. Piccolo took a hit and blew the smoke in Goku's face. Goku screamed like something was attacking him, and Piccolo began to laugh insanely. Goku joined him.
Several blunts later. . . .
Both of them had smoked several blunts and joints, all courtesy of Piccolo. Goku had gotten the hang of it, and both were really fucked up!
"Did you see that?" Piccolo said pointing to a tree. "I just saw it move!"
Goku ignored that and said, "Piccolo, did you ever notice that you're, well, green?"
Both burst out laughing, and Goku said, "You look like a pickle!"
That made them laugh even more. This went on for several minutes.
"Hey, remember when Nappa killed you? That was funny huh?"
Piccolo stopped laughing and simply said, "Not really."
Goku stopped laughing as well. "Oh."
By now they were both sitting on the ground. For ten minutes there was silence, and then Piccolo suddenly burst out laughing. Goku followed.
Nighttime.
Both of them sat by a large lake and there was a fire in between them. They both were hypnotized by the fire. Large animal skeletons and hundreds of empty canteens sat around them.
"Hey Piccolo," Goku said while not taking his eyes off the fire.
"Yeah?"
"Where the hell are we?"
"Uhhh. . ."
Goku finished eating the meat off one of the animals and turned to Piccolo. "Huh?"
"What?"
"I said, 'Huh?'."
"Oh, I see. Quite interesting Goku."
Goku rubbed his stomach. "Well Piccolo, I'm gonna go home and eat. All that just wasn't enough for me," Goku said.
"Yeah, okay."
Goku flew off, leaving Piccolo, who didn't take his eyes off the fire, behind. Piccolo lit another blunt.
***
Oh, it wasn't the end of the tale. Goku went home and forgot to eat for some reason. He went straight to sleep instead. The next morning there was a knocking on his door, and none other then Piccolo was at his doorstep, holding a box.
"Hey Piccolo, what's in the box?" Goku asked.
"Allow me to show you," Piccolo replied.
He opened it and it was filled with weed. Nice, wonderful weed.
"Wow," Goku said.
"Yeah, well, it's Round 2. I even got my pipe."
Goku hesitated. "I don't think I should. . . ."
"Goku, it's harmless. I've already proven that to you."
"Well. . . ."
Piccolo held up his pipe. Nameks don't lie, Goku."
Goku took the pipe. "All right then!"
THE END. . . for now.
---
Indeed, this was written almost a year before Piccolo's World. There is more to this story, and I hoped you got a good laugh. Later.