Save for the Princesses, Darkness lived in every heart, even the most righteous. Eraqus knew this. He had seen moments of Darkness throughout his lifetime, had his moments of anger, weakness, frustration, and rage. For a time, maybe for all time, they had claimed his old friend Xehanort.
As much as it gave him pride to have discovered her, it was disconcerting to realize that Aqua had already far surpassed him in controlling the Darkness in her heart. Sometimes he found it hard to believe she even had any, even though she was no Princess of Heart.
But as she clashed with Terra in the Courtyard, her heart was calm while his pounded with emotion.
His apprentice was not the only one; Eraqus' heart was filled with an entirely different emotion, however, one far more base, and far more shameful.
Not even the frequent reminders that he had known Aqua since she was a little girl could help him forget the woman she had become. If he were honest with himself, he would have had her take her Mark of Mastery ages ago and sent her away, but she knew Terra's pride could not have taken it. That his own desire to keep Aqua close was satisfied by his decision was a fortunate benefit.
"That's enough," his voice carried over the clang of blades and Terra and Aqua both broke apart within a breath of each other. Eraqus stood and walked over to where they both waited. "Aqua, I will discuss your performance with you later."
A flicker of concern crossed his apprentice's face and he gave her a warm, soft smile to reassure her.
"Although you could each learn a great deal through a critique of form, you have passed beyond such concerns. The content of your own heart is a private matter."
She nodded, obviously still confused, but headed back towards her room, perhaps to meditate or read.
His conversation with Terra was long, and more painful than he would have liked. Terra had come from one of the many worlds where legends of Keyblade Masters had not been lost after the sundering of worlds, and so from an early age, tales of Keyblades and the ones who wielded them were in his consciousness. When Eraqus has taken him from his home and brought him to the Land of Departure, he already had his own 'keyblade' in the form of a carved wooden blade. That commitment and expectation made for a heavy burden, one that Terra had not been able to fully let go of.
"You must let go of wanting to become a Master, Terra."
"But ... if I let go of that, then what will drive me to become better?"
It was a complicated question. That very question was one of the reasons that Keyblade Masters were rarely as young as his two apprentices.
Eraqus' eyes drifted up, over the walls of the castle, his eyes falling on the rippling blue of Aqua's dress from where she stood on one of the rails to watch them from high overhead. It was impossible for her to hear them, but he couldn't help but feel her gaze.
"There is a difference between desiring something and letting that desire consume you." Wise words, ones he wished he could find the strength to follow. "We have many desires, not all of them pure and not all of them destructive, but by controlling them we find the strength of heart to face the most trying of times."
"I don't understand..."
Eraqus put his arm over the boy's shoulder, hugging him to his side. "When you do, that is when you will truly be a Master."
Terra's wide blue eyes looked up at him, still confused.
"Meditate, still your heart. It is not something you will find an answer for tonight."
When Terra disappeared into the castle, he finally let himself relax, shoulders hunched as he tried to find his own peace of mind. His own desire was threatening to consume him, he knew his heart well enough to see that, but meditation, icy cold bathing water, and succumbing to imagined fantasy had all been useless. Even bringing his thoughts to the problem to plan a solution filled him with guilt.
"Master?"
His dilemma, clad in tight top and pants, legs surrounded with flowing, watery blue fabric, stood before him. How only a few inches of bare flesh on her arms and thighs could entice him more than any woman he had ever met would likely continue to be a mystery until the day he died.
"Aqua. I would like a few moments to collect my thoughts before we discuss your performance today."
She nodded, but rather than taking it as a dismissal she sat down next to him on the stone rail surrounding the courtyard, far enough from him to be proper, but too close for his swirling thoughts.
"You are troubled, Master. I could feel that in your heart even while Terra and I were fighting."
Eraqus couldn't help but smile. Of course she would have been able to feel that, and of course she was concerned for him.
"It is something I must handle on my own, Aqua." When it came to calming the raging emotions that overtook his heart, she was the last person in the entire universe who could help him. "I will find you when I have gathered my thoughts."
He patted her knee, a simple gesture, fatherly, one he bestowed on Terra and Ven from time to time. It was a temptation, that touch, but the emotions behind it were more easily sublimated into something appropriate for a Master and his student.
The momentary flicker of unease came not from his own heart, but from hers. The calm surface she seemed to maintain so effortlessly was suddenly ragged and raw, but the moment passed and his student's heart was calm again, betrayed only by softly parted lips and quickened breath.
He removed his hand, flexing the offending digits and laying them on his lap. "Go ahead."
She fled.
His heart hammered heavy in his chest as she retreated and when she was finally gone he put his head back in his hands, any hope of calming his heart shattered.