If It Weren't For You Chapter 1, a twilight fanfic

First off I would like to make it clear that this is NOT a Jacob/Bella story. Although I mean no offense to Jacob lovers, I hate that boy with a passion. That taken into consideration no flames on Jacob's behalf, please. This is only the introduction to the story so it is short. DEAL WITH IT. I am putting this out to see what others think of my writing and if I suck or not so please review. Constructive critisism is welcome, but if anyone flames me I will be forced to take revenge..and it won't be pretty. Okay I need to make a few things clear before you read the story

1.This is set in the 1800's in a made up country to better suit the plot of the story

2.ALL HUMAN

3.Jacob and Bella are only 15

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight would I be sitting here talking to you?? ANSWER: HELL NO!!

Now..on with the story..

Her voice was hushed and hurried. She was breathing heavily and tears were flooding her face. "Jacob, I love you." She was grasping his hands as if they were the only things keeping her in this world. She was broken. It felt as if someone had ripped out her heart. She loved him. He was her everything.

"I love you too, Bella." His words conveyed his own desperation. Though they were simple and short, it showed everything-all he was feeling layed out for the world to see, yet only she would understand. They knew they were never to meet again. This was to be the last they ever saw of each other and there wasn't one damn thing they could do about it. Young and hopeless, they sat holding each other in the dead of night. In that dark and dreary room with only shadows and themselves for company.

Bella was to be taken the next morning. Away from him forever, for she was a simple slave in the presence of a prince. Though they were in love, they could not marry. Royals did NOT marry commoners much less a slave. For this to happen would cause an uproar among the citizens of their country. Clearly seeing the relationship between Jacob and Bella, the King had taken immediate action and Bella was traded to a faraway country. Seeing as she was a slave- she had been sold to the King at the age of 12 in order to settle a debt between her family and his -Bella had no choice in the matter and would be removed from her love. They had done everything they could think of to stay together, but, alas, realized that their attempts were futile. To say goodbye, Bella snuck into Jacob's room, for the last time, for tomorrow she would be taken away and she dare not leave without her last goodbye.

While she cried into his chest, he held her and wispered sweet nothings into her ear. It was all he could do. He could not promise that everything would be fine, because-he knew-they would not. So this was how it was. All night they stayed there. All night they cried. All night they held each other. All night they waited-waited for what was to come.

Please review and tell me what you think! I will try to update in the next couple of days, but, seeing as how I have to memorize an entire script ( I got lead role in our school's musical!! How amazing is that?/ in the next few days-my drama teacher is insane and is trying to get us off script in a week-that may not happen. I would really looove some pointers and maybe some ideas for the future plot if you have any so REVIEW and tell me what you think!! please??