My life was not supposed to turn out this way. I always had a picture of how I wanted things to be. Finn and I were suppose to go live out my Broadway dreams in New York but about six months into our attempt to play house everything seemed to be going wrong. Finn was cold and distance. He was never around and when he was he wasn't really there. We were in a relationship of complete silence. I just wasn't happy and he wasn't happy and we were just making each other miserable. I wanted out. One night while Finn was gone doing god knows what with god knows who I packed my stuff and waited for him to get home. At 3:30 he stumbles in smelling of smoke and lust and places he never should have been. To my surprise I wasn't even angry. I simply sat him down and said "Finn we both know this isn't working we have become strangers we barely even interact so I think it is best if I go. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for even if it is not with me" I finish letting a few tears slide down my face. Finn just sits in stunned silence. He bows his head and barely whispers. "If that's what you want." I walk out the door and let the door swing shut behind me on all the things I thought I wanted.
The weeks after that faithful night weren't easy. There were nights when I would wake up missing Finn's presence so much it would ache in my chest. It took me awhile to realize it wasn't Finn I missed it was someone who was there that solid tangible proof that I wasn't alone. There were days when all I did was fight with my self not to call Finn and beg him to come to me but I knew I couldn't do that because we both deserved better. I had almost given up the notion that it would ever get any better until that one seemingly ordinary night at my favorite coffee shop's open mike night.
I was absorbed in my last script trying to memorize every line, every blocking, and every scene. Suddenly I heard a smoky soulful voice that I hadn't heard in years. A voice that took me back to animal sweaters and knee socks.
Must be your skin that I am sinking in
Must be for real, cause now I can feel
I glanced at the stage and confirmed that it was him. There on the small stage singing like his heart was breaking was Noah Puckerman. He looked different then I remember older more wise and much hotter. He continued singing with so much emotion
I didn't mind
It's not my kind
Not my time to wonder why
He glanced up and saw me sitting there. He smiled his patented "Puck" smile. I melted it was like I was that girl I was in high school wanting things I knew I couldn't have. His voice soothed me it lulled me into a sense of security. Before I knew it his song was coming to and end
` I needed you more
When we wanted us less
Could not kiss just digress
Might just be simple and plain
Well that's just fine
That's just one of my names
Don't let days go by
Could've been easier on you
Glycerin
The song ended and it was like waking up form a dream. I was suddenly aware of everything around me. I noticed that Noah was coming straight towards my table. Butterflies suddenly began to spread there wings in my stomachs.
"Berry, time has been good to you. You look great . How's Broadway treating you?"
I smiled up at him and answered "you look good too Noah and Broadway is treating me wonderfully I am actually studying for my part in the king and I. What about you what brings you here?"
" Well I go to NYU for civil engineering and I sing when I have some free time." he told me in his whiskey smooth voice. "Oh Noah that's wonderful I always know you would do big things." He laughed good naturedly. "Berry you were always the one destined for greatness the rest of us were just trying to keep up and stay out of your way. Speaking of staying out of the way how's Finnessa?"
His question made my face fall . He noticed right away and his smile faded "oh berry I am sorry I didn't mean.." I cut him off and said "no it's ok Finn and I just couldn't make it work. I did what was best for both us." His eyebrow kinked at my words. "Oh really well maybe we can make it work the way you couldn't" before I could react or process his words he grabbed me and kissed me and this kiss was a kiss for the ages it made my knees weak and my heart race and my head swim. It was a kiss I had dreamed of. When we finally came up for air. I did not trust myself to speak so I simply smiled took his hand and led him to my apartment.
I finally had my dream it maybe a little different then I had imagined but it was still a dream. I was happy Noah was happy and most importantly we were happy together. Things weren't easy but anything worth doing was never easy. Noah and I battled . They were epic battles like right out of a Greek tragedy, but no matter how badly we fought we still loved each other. No matter how angry Noah was he always came home he always showed up so it wasn't perfect but it was what it was suppose to be.
Eight months into our great romance I was sitting at the same table I sat at the night we began listening to Noah sing and no matter how many times I heard him it was still hypnotizing and awe inspiring. I was so engrossed by Noah that I didn't realize someone had walked up behind me. "Rachel" the voice said. I froze It was a voice I never thought I'd hear again. I slowly turn around and there Finn is standing with his goofy smile. "Hi Finn how are you?" I ask forcing a smile. Surprisingly seeing him again didn't evoke any feeling. I was fine with seeing him. He however did not feel the same.
"Rach, listen I know I wasn't easy to be with then. But I promise it be different I went crazy when you left and I don't want to feel that way any more." he told me his eyes conveying so much pain. It was my turn to lose the smile. I thought for a moment took a deep breath and said "I am sorry . You are a great person you may even be the better person…" I trailed off as Noah stepped down from the stage a look of anger plastered on his face. Finn followed my gaze and a look of understanding crossed his usually clueless face. "but its him right?" he asked dropping his gaze to the floor. "yes I am so sorry" I say as I turn to Noah who had finally reached us. I grebbed his hand and left Finn and the coffee behind.