First of all; this is meant to be a crack fic.
Summary: Scout gets into trouble.
Well now Scout is in complete trouble. He has managed to lose Heavy's mittens and Soldier's teddy bear.
He lets out a huge fart in order to calm himself, but manages to shit his pants. Now he must change his pants.
He starts searching for a clean pair of britches, but he trips and falls on Medic's heroin injection.
During the trip he fills Engineer's prize heifer with helium and lets her loose in the air. The aforementioned cow flies to the horizon yelling "Moo fuckin Scout Moo"
By now Scout's head is getting clearer, but while searching for sandviches he accidentally trips over Medic's bird cages and all of the damned pigeons fly everywhere. Actually they are doves, but Scout thinks that all birds that crap on people are pigeons.
No fuckin way, Scout thinks to himself. He would like to brew some scrumpy, but first he must find a crank. He must visit the BLU Demoman in order to borrow his.
Demo is pissed off beyond belief. Medic's wife has hidden his bombs and he can't find his cigarettes. Demo yells and hollers so much that Scout decided to hide into a pile of branches and find a proper twig to serve as a crank.
Now Scout has a proper crank. But lo and behold, he doesn't have any barley! Fuck! Shit! Now it is Scout who is pissed off beyond belief. He gets so mad that he throws Sascha out of a window, but manages to break his ankle in the process.
Scout takes a moment to survey the scene before him. The trees have fallen down, there's a bad smell in 2fort, and the troubles are just piling up. Scout starts to cry!
I guess I'll just take a nap, Scout thinks. Tomorrow everything will be better. Yeah