So... I'm still warming up ;)

This is an idea for a one shot, or maybe a multi-chapter story if you want...

Here is some explanation about an Epilogue for "Ashes of Dreams you let die..."I have multiple versions of this chapters and until I won't be happy with one of them I won't post it. I want this last chapter to be really good. ;P So I'm still looking for best option.

I own nothing.

Little introduction: It's placed after 3x07, the only diffrence is: Michael and Nikita never got engaged.

Enjoy!

PROLOGUE: SECRETS.

"Is this the right time? Is there any?"

Nikita had finished reading the 23rd page of the report when she realized she had no idea what it is about.

God, she had hard time focusing on anything lately. Too many worries, too little sleep.

She sighed and rubbed her forehead.

Focus. Ryan wants that report on the afternoon which leaves less than 4 hours to complete it.

If that wouldn't be enough, her stomach didn't cooperate today as well. It felt queasy and heavy. Up and down, up and down like a wooden pony on a carousel.

Nikita closed her eyes and started to breathe deeply to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling.

She has to do it. The more she lingers, the worse it gets.

No. She is not ready yet.

Will she ever be?

Nikita was so absent minded that she didn't realized someone had entered the Ops. She heard him only because he raised his voice.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Nikita straightened up in a chair confused. She blinked few times trying to understand what's going on.

Michael looked angry and irritated. Not such a rare view lately.

She wondered what was the cause of his edginess this time.

"Ryan told me, you are giving up the field work. Why?"

Right, that one.

"I need a break." She said calmly and opened a file again. Nauseas were getting stronger and she didn't have time nor the will to fight.

"No you don't." Michael snapped. "You are doing this because in your opinion I feel bad about not being able to go back there and you think that if you sit here with me it will somehow make me feel better."

You couldn't be more wrong. Nikita thought.

She avoided him. Even that their break up was shared decision, it wasn't easy to pretend she doesn't have feelings for Michael anymore.

Not by coincidence she asked Ryan to work in early mornings. Michael's shift usually started in the afternoon when she was going home or she was so preoccupied with work that they were passing by each other. It's been almost a month since they ended things. And it hadn't get any easier.

After the accident everything started to fall apart. They were fighting more, talking less. Michael was moving away, Nikita was forcing him to let her in. They just couldn't make it work again Not because Michael's hand. The reason was their attitude which turned out to be too diffrent to work.

So the best solution was to stop hurting each other. It was hard for both of them but that was the best thing to do.

At least before everything…complicated. Nikita sighed.

"Well, maybe this will surprise you but not everything is about you Michael. "

Is it the right time? Is there any?

Nikita was never afraid. She always had a courage to tell things, do things, no one else would do. And yet here she was. Frightened to tell the truth.

"My decision has nothing to do with you. And it's immutable. So as much as you hate this idea, you will have to stomach my presence here for couple of months cause I'm not going back to the field un-"

She went quiet when voices from the corridor reached them. She stood up and grabbed her things from the desk. It's not that she wanted to run away, this place was just becoming too crowded to work here.

"How did you came up with this?"

"I'm telling you…" woman hushed her voice so they couldn't difference the words.

"Come on, this is impossible!" they heard Birkoff's laugh.

Happy Nerd and Sonya entered the Ops.

"Hey guys!"- Birkoff was smiling widely blind to Michael's and Nikita's tensed faces.

"What's so funny Nerd?" Nikita smiled to him vaguely. She needed a change of a subject, something that will get her mind of…

"Sonya has the most ridiculous idea in the world,.."

"Seymour, no!" - Sonya tried to hush him up.

"...she thinks you are pregnant. Crazy, right?" He laughed.

So much for the change of subject.

"Really?" Nikita felt stomach in her throat. She wanted to give them a pretended smile and make a joke about how absurd the idea was, but instead she dropped the file holder and went paler than she already was.

That was answer clear enough. She could almost feel all the penetrating glances.

Crap.

Everything just went to hell.

"Oh my God…. You are pregnant!" Birkoff gasped.

Until Nikita managed to collect strewn papers, Sonya was already hugging her and congratulating.

...Happy... Congratulations...You will...

All Nikita heard was a blurry noise and buzzing in her ears.

She stood there stiffened, trying to catch Michael's gaze but he was standing behind her.

"Man, you are-" Birkoff moved to Michael with open arms but he stopped midway as he saw his face twisted in shock and disbelief. Eyes wide open, fixed on Nikita.

He had just found out.

"Sonya..." Birkoff cleared his throat. "I think we should leave them alone." He grabbed her hand and and dragged out of a room.

Now Nikita could turn around.

Slowly, trying not to forget to breathe she looked at Michael.

She saw a flicker of sadness when their eyes met.

They were standing for a moment in silence. Michael's angry and shocked face, Nikita's pale and frightened.

Neither was ready to say something.

Carrousel speeded up.

So? Should I keep going?