NCIS: LOS ANGELES

Disclaimer- I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles

CHAPTER 1

Everyone was quiet as they tried to listen as best they could to what was going on about thirty feet away at Hetty's desk. Their concern was Eric Beal, he had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout the entire case that week. Nobody had yet questioned him. Maybe he was taking the case especially hard but that was highly unlikely as this was one of the rare cases where nobody had to die. About an hour ago Callen, Sam, Kensi and Deeks watched as he walked down the stairs of Ops with a weighted expression on his face and headed straight for Hetty's.

"So no one knows what could possibly be up?" Deeks whispered to the group having given up trying to hear what Hetty and Eric were talking about.

"No, not a clue." Kensi replied trying to conceal her concerned expression as she watched Eric's shoulders tense and Hetty's mouth frown slightly at whatever was being said. She failed badly as Deeks saw right through her façade.

"Well whatever it is I'm sure everything will be just fine" Deeks said trying to console his partners' worries. It was obvious that Kensi and Eric shared a brother sister bond as she did with Callen and Sam. "His computer probably crashed or something and he's complaining to Hetty about it." He continued trying to ignite a laugh from her to lighten the mood.

He proved unsuccessful however at Sam's next words, "If that were the case Deeks, than I'd think Eric would have been more than happy to fix it himself." His voice was also laced with concern and seriousness.

Callen remained silent throughout the others talking, his sole focus on Eric and Hetty. He was growing anxious to find out what was going on. He usually was on top of his team. The moment he saw something was conflicting them he'd jump to figure out what and try his best to fix it. With Eric however he decided to let him be for a while as it seemed he needed to think whatever was going on with himself alone. Now thought seeing the tension in Eric's body while speaking to Hetty, Callen was thinking that leaving him be was probably not the best thing to have done.

Callen was just about to get up and walk over when Eric stopped speaking and turned to head back up the stairs.

"Eric!" Callen called trying to catch him

Eric heard Callen call his name and he knew he had to stop. He knew that he hadn't been doing a good job at trying to hide that he wasn't telling them something. But then truth was he just didn't know how to begin, but he knew now that he had told Hetty the next step was to tell the team too. Eric knew that if he left Ops, as he planned to, without an explanation, whenever he did return the welcome home would not be a friendly one.

He knew there was no time like the present and it would be best to just get it out now than later.

"Ok," he said as he turned back down the stairs to face the team. "I'm pretty sure I know what you're going to ask me so let me save you the trouble. I know you've noticed something's up…"

"That's an understatement" Callen cut him off

Eric continued despite his friend's smart comment. "I realize that all of us here have our secrets," he paused taking a deep breath "It just so happens that one of mine has surfaced recently and will cause me to have to leave Ops for a while."

"What do you mean?" Kensi jumped in "We're undercover cops, we can take on whoever is after you Eric it's what we do. You don't have to leave…"

"I never said someone was after me Kens." Eric cut her off. "I'm leaving because last week Friday I received notice that my leave is up and I received orders of my deployment back overseas as of this morning."

They were speechless. Of course none of them knew every single detail about each other but this was definitely not expected. They'd always seen Eric as the funny, goofy, geeky guy at NCIS, but a soldier never crossed their minds. However it was also very possible that Eric's personality simply deterred the team from what had been in their face as long as they'd known him.

Eric was built. Not like Sam but very close to Callen. His dress in the flip-flops, shorts, the occasional palm tree shirts and innocently happy attitude was probably what concealed his muscled arms and abs from registering in their heads that he worked out on a regular basis. Though him not being a field agent he could probably hold his own in a fight.

"Hold on your enlisted?" Sam questioned what they all were thinking "In the United States army?"

Eric laughed with no humor "Yeah Sam. Thought you were the only one?" he asked rhetorically trying to lighten his news that obviously had shocked the group.

"Why didn't you tell us about this?" Callen stepped in not angry but very much curious 'and why after all this time do they need you back now?"

Despite wanting to tell them everything Eric had enough training to know when enough information was enough.

"That's classified information."

Eric immediately noticed how defensive his tone was and so quickly added "Sorry guys but that's all I can say. Even Hetty knows no more than that."

The group could see immediately at how Eric now spoke and the stern look, foreign to his face that he now displayed, was him turning into someone who they did not know. Someone who had probably seen a lot of terrible shit during his time served. They still couldn't believe it but they could now see it as his dark green eyes seemed distant and suddenly darker than before. He looked upward at the top of the stairs towards Ops with a troubled expression.

Sam looked at him with invasive curiosity "Classified?" he asked getting Eric's attention back. There was disbelief in his voice "Exactly what branch of the army are you from?"

As they all looked at him they could see his aversion to the question. He wasn't going to answer it. And though not happy about it, they understood the situation. Clearly Eric was not the man they knew, there was another part of him that would not be pushed around. Another part of him that was military, another part of him that held allegiance to not only NCIS but from the looks of things probably special operations within the U.S military.

The resignation on his face made it clear nothing else would be said or asked about the matter of his deployment assignments.

"When do you leave?" Deeks asked solemnly all the while looking at Kensi. He could see that she was distraught at this news which made him want to be mad at Eric for leaving and causing her pain. But he knew that even more than that, he along with everyone else was just worried, sad and anxious about this new development. Whatever Eric was apart of would without a doubt place him in harm's way. The very fact that he said his mission was "classified" revealed that. The part that worried the team though was the fact that they would not be there to protect him if he got himself into trouble.

"0800 hours the day after tomorrow." Eric replied simply

"When are you coming back?" Kensi asked

Eric looked at his sister-like friend, not wanting to give her the answer he had to. "I'm sorry Kensi but…"

"I got it, enough said" Kensi cut him off knowing what he was about to say "You said it was classified and so you probably don't even know the details yourself yet." She looked down and away, appearing on the outside to be strong but clearly angered at the news within.

"I'm sorry guys but it's not like I have a choice." He knew they wanted more "Look, I enlisted when I was 18 during a bad time in my life guys, and I just have some unfinished business to tend to." He strained a smile "No big deal, I mean I'll be gone for…I don't know how long, but I will be back…"

"Everyone enlisted knows that, that isn't true Eric." Sam said "there is always a chance that..."

"Hey," Eric interrupted and for a moment his goofy, joking smile retuned for a moment. But they could tell it was forced. "I'll be perfectly fine."

He still noticed their concerned looks and got real serious. "Guys, my time at NCIS was nowhere faked when it comes to my relationship with you guys…" he paused "but as part of my time here I couldn't exactly be completely honest with you guys either." "It was a part of my leave to try and fit in until they needed me back, I couldn't let anyone know who I was so I chose to work behind a desk where it just so happened I was pretty decent with a computer. It was a perfect cover but trust me when I say I know how to handle myself in the field. You don't have to worry about me."

The way he said this with complete light hearted confidence was convincing enough, even for Callen

He turned to head up the stairs again but this time was stopped by Kensi calling his name. Somehow he immediately knew what she was going to ask by the way her voice became softer.

"Does Nell know yet?" she said it with caution

He froze and could feel the four pairs of eyes on his back demanding an answer. He closed his eyes tightly for a moment, glad he was turned around so they didn't see the look of pain that flashed across his face at the question.

Taking a deep breath he answered "No, she doesn't." he cursed himself as his voice was too weighted with emotion to come off as casual.

Kensi's posture turned disbelieving. His tine suggested that he had not been planning on telling her. "But you are going to tell her. Right?"

No answer

"Right?" she asked more firmly

He never turned but spoke with a forced casual tone as he began to ascend the steps slowly, "Of course I'm going to Kensi." She frowned however as he didn't sound the least bit convincing.

Truth was he didn't want to tell Nell, he'd rather leave without having to say goodbye, even if there was a chance he would not come back. Sam was right he knew the risks he had taken many times during active duty, there was always a chance he would not make it back home alive. He could handle that possibility though. Eric had always seen being able to serve his country a great honor and if the risk was his life in the process of protecting those innocent lives back home, lives like Nell, he would gladly do it. But he couldn't deny that his time at NCIS had changed him. He now had people in is life who were constant, who meant something to him. They were his family, and Nell had somehow eased her way to the top of his list of people most important to him.

His sole reason for not pursuing her romantically was knowing that this day would come when he'd have to leave her and he just wasn't sure if he would have the strength to go if he had become too emotionally attached to her. Even now their relationship was classified as co-workers and friends but climbing the steps to tell her of his approaching departure felt like his heart was shattering with every step.

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