A/N: Hey all, VGA Condor back with something new. I'm sincerely sorry to all those that enjoyed my last story, but my interest in writing it just withered away, and I just didn't want to continue with it. But in replacement of that, I bring you this: a brand-new story that is a somewhat crossover of my two favorite series: the Persona series and The Big Bang Theory. The characters will be OOC, to fit the roles of Big Bang characters but will also have some of the Persona personalities. I have to admit that there will be several Big Bang Theory Jokes used in this fic, but hey thats what a parody is all about. Anyway, enjoy and I will make sure that I will update this one much more frequent than the last.
Disclaimer: I do not own neither the Big Bang Theory or Persona series, rights to both are held with Chuck Lorre and Atlus respectively as this is a work of fanfiction. If I did own both, this would've happened already xD.
Chapter 1: The Arisato-Takeba Encounter
Entering the lobby of the Iwatodai apartment complex were two young men that were no more than twenty-three years old. The taller one was sporting a small goatee and wearing a plain white T-shirt with a blue jacket on top with matching colored jeans. He adjusted his baseball cap before proceeding up the the stairs to their apartment. The shorter one sported a full head of blue-hair with matching eyes. He was wearing a similar outfit to his friend's but was grey in color.
"I'm just saying, if Edward Elric were to fight Naruto, it would be completely unfair," the taller one said to the other.
"And why is that, Junpei?" the bluenette asked, placing a bag of take-out onto the floor to find the keys to his apartment.
"Think about it, Edward Elric is an alchemist while Naruto is a ninja. Alchemists use science of their surroundings for combat while ninjas use chakra within their bodies." Junpei continued.
"Thought about it, now what's your point?" he asked again after finally opening the door to their apartment.
"That once they are both transformed into cyborgs, Naruto will be nothing more than an empty shell of a ninja while Ed can change any part of his body to fit what would go Naruto's headstone."
"Fascinating," Minato replied before closing the door, only to stop when he saw the door to the apartment across from his wide open. Upon seeing into the apartment, he saw the girl inside. She had short, light-brown hair and was wearing a pink sweater with a short black miniskirt and long knee-high socks and brown loafers. He also couldn't help but notice the cute heart choker she had around her neck.
"New neighbor?" Junpei asked behind him. He didn't respond as he was still staring at her from across the hall.
"Helloooo? Earth to Minato?" he asked trying to break his attention.
"Wha- Huh? When'd you get here Junpei?" Minato asked absent-mindedly.
"Hmm, about two minutes ago when we walked in," he answered, slight irritation in his voice.
"That's great, now wait here," Minato said dropping the food bag and exiting the apartment. Junpei shook his and after placing the food on the table he went out after him.
"Not a bad looker, eh Minato?" Junpei nudged his friend.
"Yeah..." he swooned.
"Definitely a step above the old ones," he noted.
"Yeah..." Minato sighed again. Junpei looked at him with a cocked brow.
"Um... can I help you?" the girl asked, noticing the two men in the hallway. Hearing her voice made Minato snap back into reality.
"Uh- um- no, we just s-saw you from a-across the hall and w-wanted to welcome you to the building," he stammered. Junpei leaned forward slightly.
"Wanna try that again without the stutter?"
Minato looked back at him with daggers only to see Junpei's giant grin.
"Oh! Well thanks," the brunette smiled causing Minato to smile also.
"Okay, then i guess I'll see you," she began to close the door.
"Yeah, see you," he replied.
"Smooth, man," Junpei snickered before walking back with him to their apartment.
"Shut up, you didn't even help me," Minato countered.
"There's one big reason why, and that's because I don't care," Junpei said directly as he began to unpack their food.
"What happened to 'Not a bad looker eh?'," Minato snapped back.
"Just because I complimented her looks doesn't mean I cared," he replied.
"C'mon, man. What happened to the old Junpei Iori? You know, the one that'll go after any girl that would breathe around him?" Minato tried to coax his friend.
"Hmm... gee, I wonder what happened to that one, oh that's right, because when I stopped ogling every one I saw, I was actually able to get some of my work done," he scoffed.
"Oooh, so you managed to grow a human pancreas in a teenage gibbon. Big whoop," Minato mocked.
"Big whoop?" Junpei seemed offended.
'Excuse me, sir, while I'm one step ahead to curing diabetes, I'd like to know your progress in proving that ghosts exist."
"Hey, I was close that time in Paulownia Mall's parking structure," Minato countered.
"Yeah, that was until you re-listened to the audio feedback and learned that the 'EVP' you captured was just a truck driver's radio advertising condoms," Junpei sneered.
"I, well the evide- uh- Oh shut up!" Minato shouted in defeat as he headed towards the door.
"Now come on."
"Where are we going now?" Junpei asked.
"We're going to ask her to join us for dinner," Minato answered before opening the door and heading out.
"Wait, what? We don't even have enough for three people!" he shouted before going after him.
"So, doesn't mean that we can't be good neighbors," Minato said at her door.
"Then why weren't we 'good neighbors' Kazushi and Yuko?" Junpei asked, trying to contradict Minato.
"Because when we first met, Kazushi nearly killed me by falling when his knee gave out on the stairs and Yuko nearly took my legs off with her katana that fell out from its sheath," Minato explained to his friend.
"So yeah, wasn't really in for the 'good neighbor' act." Junpei rolled his eyes while Minato hesitantly knocked on her door. He was staring down at his shoes before hearing the doorknob turn.
"Hello!" she answered.
"Hi," Minato answered.
"Hey," Junpei followed.
"Hi," she said again.
"Hi..." Minato nearly whispered.
"Anyway, we thought that its pretty exhausting to move an entire day and we thought it you would like to join us for some dinner. We got American food," he offered motioning back towards his apartment.
"Uh-," she was hesitant to answer but then felt her stomach rumble. Seeing how she can't really make anything because of how cluttered her apartment is at the moment.
"You know what? Sure, why not?"
After hearing her accept, he barely held himself together with excitement before the three of them entered their apartment. When she entered their apartment, she took in all of the different kinds of anime and manga novelties. Minato entered the kitchen area to get drinks with Junpei tailing behind him.
"Again, how are we supposed to split two meals between three people?"
"Its fine, we'll just spread it out and have it buffet style," Minato answered.
"Oh sure, and we can just have a buffet take-out style," Junpei repiled.
"Would you just sit down?!" Minato whispered audibly. He handed a bottled water to their guest and began to spread out the food among the table. Their guest decided to sit on the far left side of their couch, much to Junpei's dismay.
"Um, excuse me but that's where I sit," he noted.
"Uh- can't you sit somewhere else," she asked, feeling a little uncomfortable.
"Hmm... nope, thats where I sit," he replied stubbornly.
"Um, can I ask why?" Yukari asked nervously.
"That spot is cool during summertime because of a cross breeze from the two windows, warm during winter because its perfect distance from the heater and its angle towards the T.V. make watching or playing games and talking to people fairly simple and without problems for each," Junpei explained much to Yukari's surprise.
"Do... you... want me to move?"
"No he doesnt. C'mon Junpei, just sit next to her," Minato exclaimed. Junpei sighed audibly, but quickly put on a fake smile and sat next to her, obviously feeling uncomfortable with the new position.
"Anyway, I'm sorry w-we n-never actually introduced ourselves," Minato said, still slightly embarassed. Their guest giggle in response.
"Well, I'm Yukari Takeba. I moved here to attend Gekkoukan University. You know, to try to become an actress."
"What a coincidence, we work at Gekkoukan University. The science departments to be exact. I'm Minato Arisato and that's Junpei Iori." Minato replied enthusiastically.
"Wow, so are you two scientists?" she asked.
"No, we work in the science departments as janitors," Junpei scoffed. Yukari was taken aback.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you two," she replied, feeling guilty about what she had said.
"No, no, he was just being sarcastic," Minato shot a glare towards his roommate, who simply shrugged in response.
"Yes we are scientists. He's a medical biologist and I'm a psychiatrist."
After hearing that last comment, Junpei laughed aloud, prompting Minato to squint at him.
"Is there something wrong with that?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"Yes, a psychiatrist that believes in ghosts, psychics and tarot readings," Junpei mocked.
"There's a field called parapsychology, which happens to have a huge following," Minato countered.
"Yeah, a for old ladies that have dried up their retirement funds and men who want their fifteen minutes of fame," Junpei replied. Minato looked at him with a stern look.
"Do you think you can grow a new roommate from a teenage gibbon?" Minato asked, causing Yukari to giggle.
"If its an improvement over the current one then I'll give it a shot," Junpei smiled. Minato couldn't respond to that last statement and decided to brush it off.
"So Yukari, an actress huh?" Minato decided to break the ice.
"Yep, acting was always what I wanted to do. You can't really get far in Inaba though; the city is so small and far away from everything that its hard to get your name out there," Yukari explained.
"I'm currently writing a screenplay about a group of kids trying to solve a murder case."
"Sounds interesting. If it were a movie, I'd go watch it," Minato tried to give the best first impression he can.
"You would?" Yukari asked surprised.
"Of course I would, I just love a good mystery," Minato added.
"No you don't," Junpei contradicted, much to Minato's dismay.
"You told me yourself last week in the park that mystery novels are just a cruel way to torture trees after Naoto let you borrow one. You then tossed it into the trunk of the oak tree we always sit under," Yukari glared at Minato after hearing what Junpei said.
"N-n-no I did not, I said that mystery novels were enjoyable and that you're a cruel way to torture the trees," Minato attempted to cover Junpei's last statement. Yukari beamed in delight, falling for Minato's cover-up.
"Anyway, its great you were accepted into Gekkoukan University. Quite a difficult school to enroll in," Minato tried to add onto the conversation.
"Yeah, I was lucky. My boyfriend got me some acting classes there," Yukari explained. Upon hearing this, Minato's heart sank, seeing how that she was already in a relationship.
"W-w-wow, he sounds like a great guy," Minato attempted to keep a good mood.
"He was... until he turned out to be a huge jerk," Yukari began to sob audibly. Minato and Junpei's eyes widened and looked at each other. Junpei shrugged as he was unsure of what to do or what was happenings.
"I've been with him for four years. That's high school for God's sake," she continued. Junpei looked towards the crying girl.
"You had to do four years in high school?" Minato looked at Junpei and shook his head, trying to stop him from making the situation worse. Yukari rose up from her seat to grab a tissue from one of the desks, prompting Junpei to leap into the spot she was on the couch. Minato looked at him irritated before shifting his attention back to the crying girl in their apartment.
"Should I say something?" Minato asked his friend.
"No, you being a psychiatrist is just gonna make it worse," Junpei gave his insight. After drying her tears and blowing her nose, she turned back to the duo.
"You know what is the stupidest part about this is? The fact that I still love him despite how much of an ass he is," Yukari continued.
"I swear, I'm such an idiot!"
"No no no no you're not. Its just- look at it from a psychological point of view. You're in love with him still because you have the need to feel constant attachment, despite the stimulus you're attached to is a sleezy, cheating, douchebag that takes everything you do for granted," Minato smiled at the end of his "comforting" statement. Yukari looked at him dumbfounded before starting to cry again.
"Aw, damn it I did make it worse!" Minato turned back to Junpei.
"Told ya so," his friend responded.
"No you didn't. I'm just such a mess right now, you know with the break-up and the moving and on top of all of that my stupid shower doesn't work," Yukari sobbed.
"Our shower works," Minato said blatantly.
"Really? Is is okay if I can use it, you know just to clean up?" Yukari asked.
"Of course you-" Minato started.
"Can't," Junpei interrupted. Yukari looked at him with a disheartened look.
"Can," Minato corrected.
"Can?" Junpei asked the bluenette.
"Can," Minato replied through clenched teeth.
"Can," Junpei wearily smiled towards Yukari who returned it.
"Thank you so much. You two are really sweet," she said before entering the bathroom.
"Well, well this is an interesting turn of events. You actually managed to get a girl naked in our own apartment," Junpei smiled towards Minato.
"No, what about the time with Chidori?" Minato tried to counter.
"You tripped and tore her clothes off trying to break your fall," Junpei said matter-of-factly.
"Doesn't count."
"Oh shut up," Minato heard a knock and proceeded to answer the door. Upon opening it, a man the same age as the other two stormed in. He was wearing a white long-sleeve with the sleeves folded up and a yellow scarf. His messy black hair went perfectly with his pants and suspenders. Following him was a white-haired man with a red vest over his white long-sleeve.
"Dude, you have to see this," the brunette said while heading over to the other two's T.V. set and inserting a DVD.
"Its fantastic," the white-haired one added with two thumbs up.
"Ryoji, I don't think its the best time," Minato tried to get the scarfed man to listen, but was ultimately ignored.
"Not now Minato this video is gonna rock your world," he replied.
"No, seriously, this isn't the be-"
"Its the never before seen director's cut of Code Geass R2 that confirms that Lelouch is still alive at the end," Ryoji explained the contents of the video.
"That's awesome, but you guys gotta leave now!" Minato exclaimed motioning towards the door.
"Why?" the white-haired man said.
"Minato's got a naked chick here, that's why," Junpei clarified.
"Thank you," Minato said sarcastically.
"Yeah right, did Chidori come back for her clothes?" Ryoji mocked as he was flipping through the scenes of the DVD.
"No, its not Chidori, just a new neighbor," Minato explained.
"Really now?" Ryoji dropped the remote and began to scan the room.
"Are you trying to engage in coitus with this girl?" he coaxed Minato.
"No," he responed.
"Is she available for coitus?" Ryoji asked again.
"No!" Minato exclaimed.
"She's just a new neighbor and please stop saying coitus."
"Hey I think the shower's jammed because it doesn't shift from bath to-" Yukari was clad only in a towel and notcied the other two men.
"Oh hi, ddn't know you two were having company. Hello!"
Ryoji took a moment to take in her looks before trying to make his move.
"Well helllllloooo there. Ryoji Mochizuki of Gekkoukan Univeristy department of Transportation Engineering. You should be familiar with my work, since you ride them almost everywhere here in Japan.
"Yukari. I'm gonna be an actress," Yukari said with a little spunk in her voice.
"Acting? Oh, I've always loved acting, especially the ones that show on late night cable channels," Ryoji smiled to himself.
"If you need any practice, let me know."
"Okay... I think that's enough. Here lemme get that shower working for you," Minato pulled Yukari away by hand back towards the restroom.
After fiddling with the shower switch, Minato managed to change it.
"Sorry about that, it tends to stick."
"Its fine, thanks," Yukari smiled as she entered through the other side of the shower.
"Well, good shower," he said as he began to walk out of the bathroom.
"Hey, Minato," Yukari called from behind the shower curtain.
"The Vocaloid loofa is Junpei's," he said quickly.
"Okay... anyway, I have a favor to ask and its totally alright if you say no," she continued along with tossing her towel outside of the shower.
"I'm sort of a yes man," Minato added upon knowing what is just beyond the curtain.
"Great, its just that- this isn't something you'd ask a guy you just met," she finished.
"Wow," Minato said while looking up towards the ceiling.
"How the hell did you get me to do this with you?" Junpei asked as they walked up to the entrance of a large and quite lavish apartment complex.
"I didn't want to come alone, and being my best friend you are always supposed to be my right-hand-man," Minato responded, much to Junpei's dismay.
"Besides were doing her a small favor."
"Yeah, the small favor that makes us go get a T.V. from Yukari's ex-boyfriend as a way for you to slowly leech yourself into her pants?" Junpei replied.
"Not at all. Junpei, do you even know how hard it is to break up with someone?" Minato said as he turned towards his friend.
"The question is do you?" Junpei asked back.
"Yes, I broke up with Elizabeth," Minato brought up a past experience with a girl as evidence for Junpei.
"No you didn't, her dad threatened that he'd throw you into the 'Velvet Room' if he caught you with her again," Junpei added. Minato took some time to think about that.
"To this day I have no idea what the 'Velvet Room' is."
"Whatever, can we just get this over with?" Junpei begged.
"Yeah, let's just find a way to get in there," Minato tried to pull on the door, but it wouldn't budge.
"Here. let's try the intercom."
Minato headed to the keypad and pressed the button that called Yukari's ex-boyfriend's apartment. A low, gruff voice was heard on the other side.
"Yeah?" the voice asked.
"Hi, were here for Yukari's T.V.," Minato told the intercom, hoping for a good response.
"Get lost, loser," the voice replied.
"Thanks, now we'll just be on our way," Junpei attempted to leave but Minato motioned him to stay.
"C'mon Junpei, were right here. Plus our combined I.Q. is 360, Im sure we can get into a stupid building." Upon saying that, a pair of grade school girls walked up with a wagon full of cookies. One of the girls slid her hand down the line of buttons and a buzzing sound was heard. The duo looked at each other before seeing the two girls enter the complex.
"What do you think their combined I.Q. is?" Junpei asked.
"Just grab the door!" Minato exclaimed before rushing into the building.
"So you two work at Gekkoukan also?" Yukari asked the white-haired man. The man just simply stared forward, seemingly ignoring her.
"I'm sorry, can you talk?"
"Akihiko can talk, just not to women," Ryoji explained.
"Why not?" Yukari asked, concerned for Akihiko's condition.
"Because, he's kind of a nerd," Ryoji finished.
"Fruit milk?"
"Okay, so I'll do the talking," Minato said.
"Great, and I'll be the muscle," Junpei added on sarcastically. Minato then knocked on the door to Yukari's ex-boyfriend's apartment. Upon opening it, the duo saw a rather tall man dressed in a maroon pea coat and long black pants. His beanie nearly covered his eyes and his long hair added to his menacing appearance.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"I'm Minato and this is Junpei," Minato introduced themselves.
"Yeah, we were the two you told to get lost downstairs," Junpei clarified.
"From the intercom? How the hell did you get it here?" the man asked. Minato looked down at his shoes before facing the man again.
"We have a combined I.Q. of 360," he bragged.
"I'm pretty sure that answers the question."
"So what do you want?" the man interrogated. Junpei shrugged and was quite nervous to be around him. Minato looked back at him for support, but it was no avail.
"We're here for Yukari's T.V. and we're not leaving until we get it," Minato demanded. The man crossed his arms and smirked.
"Oh really now?"
"Yes, really," Minato repeated. The man scanned the duos bodies and grinned wider.
"Nice pants."
"You owe me a new pair Minato," Junpei said angrily as he and Minato had exited the building pant-less.
"Let's just go..." Minato said in a disappointed voice.
The two entered their apartment complex and headed up the stairs.
"Hey, man I'm sorry I brought you into this," Minato apologized to Junpei for the chain of events that happened.
"Its alright, we've been through worse together," Junpei accepted and continued up the stairs.
"You were right though, by talking to her I just made it worse. For us at least," Minato sounded depressed at the situation that had occured earlier.
"Now there's no hope, I'm just going to grow old and die alone, nothing to comfort me but my Nobel Prize."
"Ah, don't be like that, dude," Junpei tried to consol his down friend.
"You're not gonna die alone."
"Thanks Junpei, that means a lot," Minato's spirit was lifted a little upon hearing his friend's words.
"You're sure as hell not gonna win a Nobel Prize," Junpei finished.
"Yep, one of my favorite artists of all time," Ryoji said to Yukari, who at the moment was feeling a little uneasy.
"I mean, her singing and animation are so clear, plus her blue hair and eyes are just so hot."
"We're back," Minato said in a monotone voice. Yukari turned to him and her eyes widened upon seeing his and Junpei's pant-less form.
"Oh my God," she cupped her hands over her face and rushed towards the duo.
"What happened?"
"Well... He sends his regards and the rest... you can see the rest," Minato explained his predicament to Yukari, who was still trying to process the information.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't think he'll be as much of an ass if you two went instead of me," she explained.
"It was a valid hypothesis," Minato responded with a smile.
"A valid hypo- what the hell is happening to you?" Junpei asked in surprise. Yukari heard all she needed to hear and ran up and hugged Minato and Junpei
"Thank you so much for trying. I swear I'll pay you back for this. I'll tell you what, dinner is on me tonight, so let me just get my purse."
Minato and Junpei stared at her as she went to her apartment to get said purse. Junpei looked at his blue-haired friend who couldn't take her eyes off of her.
"You're not done are you?" he asked.
"Our babies will be smart and beautiful," Minato replied confidently. Junpei nodded.
"And imaginary," he added.
A/N: Well there it is, the first chapter/episode of The Big Persona Theory. I said it would resemble The Big Bang Theory in jokes and plot didn't I. Don't worry, there will be some original material in there as well, plus more appearances of more Persona characters. So thanks for reading, and if this hits off well, I'll think about continuing with more. If I need to make any changes, don't hesitate but to review or P.M. me so I can change what is necessary.