Once upon a time

Nights

(A season Five Fanfiction)

Written by Faenya

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Characters of Once upon a time by Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz.

Spoilers for the finale of season four.

(no beta)

So this is basically a procrastitation project. I'm in the final phase of my studies and should be learning the differences between Parkinson's disease and mutiple system atrophy, among other things, but I always seem to find myself doing other stuff. Like creating an Emma Swan youtube video to the song I believe, or continuing my other story, or in this case, write a whole new one. Greetings from Germany, yours Faey

Chapter One

What Could Have Been

The dwarves were downing one shot after another and the Lady wolf had joined them for one or two. While the Queen and her thief had left for a 'moonlight walk' as Henry had said, the lad stayed with his other mother and grandparents recapitulating the dreadful events that the Author and Gold had scribbled up in that cursed book. More than once Snow and David apologised for their behaviour and while Killian didn't hold a grudge, he would never let the prince and princes live that down. And he told them so, with a wink.

Emma seemed happy, after reconciling with her parents. It had been a pain to feel the tension between them, especially between mother and daughter.

And for now, all seemed well.

So when his Swan whispered, "Let's get out of here." he was happy to oblige. With Henry home at Regina's house and after biding Snow and David a good night, they made their way down to the docks where the Jolly Roger was moored. Emma's head rested on his shoulder while they walked slowly, arms linked. He was honestly enjoying the quiet moment. When they boarded ship, Emma glanced over to the helm, walking along the rail. She let her eyes trace the mast, the sails until they found his. He smiled, watching her. "What?" she asked also smiling, but shyly. "Nothing Swan. Just can't help the memories." "Why? Whatever do you mean?" she teased him in an innocent voice. Killian picked up the mood and stepped closer to Emma, invading her space. "Let me help you remember." His arm went around her back, pulling her flush against him. His hand was at the back of her head, as it mostly was when they kissed, he noticed. He ran his fingers through her hair. For all the rough movements, the kiss he placed on her lips was tender, almost chaste. She returned the kiss intensifying it just a bit, certainly knowing what he was talking about.

A dashing rescue and a dragon in pursuit, the adventure in Neverland, not to mention her interaction with the past version of his self. This ship held a lot of memories.

When they parted she just couldn't let the opportunity pass, "I remember a night cap, was promised." she said with a wink, throwing the innuendo at him after all this time. Her grin was already too much for him, but Emma biting her lip, was what did him in.

They kissed all the way to his quarters, stumbling more than climbing down the ladder. Emma clung to him like her life depended on it. When they eventually stopped, just for a breath she gazed into his eyes, one hand cupping his face. "I love you." she whispered causing Killian sight with the utmost relief. He couldn't believe they had come this far. Even after promising Emma, to win her heart, there had always been this nagging voice in the back of his mind, that doubted he'd ever succeed. He had almost begun to accept he would never here those words and was content in knowing about her feelings. And yet, here they were. Emma had finally let her walls down, had admitted her feelings for him. It felt nearly surreal.

When a solitary tear ran down her cheek, all of a sudden, Emma stepped out of their embrace and backwards. "I'm sorry." she whispered, crying now, her lips trembled.

Killian didn't understand, not until a dark web started to engulf his Swan, tearing her away from him. "Emma." he shouted and gripped her hand. "Emma please."

The darkness surrounded her in a menacing whirl, and all he could see was her face between strains of her hair. "I love you." he heard her shouting through all the turmoil.

I love you. Then she let go of his hand and was swallowed by darkness.

He woke with a start and had a hard time orienting himself. He was not in his quarters, not on his ship even. His leather jacket was wrapped around him like a blanket.
"Hook." He pinched he back of his nose and blinked a few times. "Are you all right?"

It was the queen, talking to him from the other side of the room. "Do you require an answer your majesty?" he replied, after spotting Henry sleeping, with his head on a book, sitting at the desk in the library. Beside him were Snow White with tear strained eyes and the Prince rubbing his hands over and over his face.

It had only been a dream. A dream of what could have been, that turned into a nightmare. Or the nightmare that was his reality.

The Dark One, Emma, the dagger. They had post haste made for the library, searching for any clues regarding that Merlin fellow. Looking at the books that were scattered around him, Killian gathered he must have fallen asleep while reading. He wondered, briefly, who had draped the jacket over him. "I will take Henry home now." Regina announced. The prince and princess nodded in agreement, "We should all get some sleep."

He wanted to disagree, but his head was bursting and he could barely keep his eyes open. "Aye." he simply said in defeat and stood up, though not as elegantly as usually. When Regina woke her son, he was far too tired to argue and followed his mother to the door. Before leaving, he glanced back at the pirate. "We'll continue tomorrow, lad." Killian assured the boy and watched them leave. He noticed Snow and David staying behind. "You can come with us to the loft," the princess started almost shyly
"If you want to, that is."

"I am grateful for the offer mylady, but I think I'll retire to my ship." he declined politely. David nodded, understanding.
The loft, it would be to much. Without her, without Emma.

So Killian let his feet take him down the street towards the docks, he moved without thinking, towards his ship.

When he boarded the Jolly Roger, he glanced over to the helm, walking along the rail. His eyes traced the mast, the sails, then he stumbled down the ladder to his quarters. At the sight of his room he broke to pieces. The chair in the middle of the chamber got a good kick, then he threw one of the books on the desk across the room. He swept everything else that was on the desk to the floor in his rage and flipped the table over, scratching the wood with his hook along the way. With laboured breath, he closed his eyes and ultimately broke down, with his back to the side of his bed. Killian ran his hand through his hair, gripping at the roots in despair.

He heard her voice in his head, over and over. I love you. It haunted him even in his dreams as it seemed. It had only been a few hours, but he already missed his Swan. After all they had been through, she had finally said those three words. All this time it had been on his lips, but had refrained from saying it out loud, fearing it could scare her away. He hid it, in phrases and gestures. Now circumstances had not allowed him to reply.

He crawled onto his cot throwing his arm over his eyes and hoped he would get the chance, tell her just how much she meant to him. I love you.