Title: Ship Wars
Author: AleishaPotter
Recipient: thinlizzy2
Rating: R
Genre and/or Pairing: Gabriel cracky gen with slight Gabriel/Becky, implied (on Becky's part) Sam/Dean, Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: for any episode that has aired to be safe. There are bits from random Cas episodes plus some made up scenes that should have been in the episodes, in my opinion. :-)
Warnings: oh boy... um, crack, language, very mild offscreen smut scene. Language. Don't know why the f word comes out so much in my writing... shrug and the use of the word 'cockzilla'. That totally deserves a warning.
Word Count: 2254
Notes/Prompts: "Gabriel was the one sending Chuck his visions. Would love Gabriel/Becky here." I hope this is what you had in mind, or something close to it! Enjoy!
Summary: Gabriel and Becky go head to head when it comes to Supernatural OTP's
Ship Wars:
Sam and Dean take the Her out of Winchester
or
Why Everyone Should 'Ship Destiel
Gabriel sighed in defeat as he watched Becky give Chuck that look. The same look she had given the wayward Prophet multiple times. And just like every other time, Chuck sighed and erased everything he had just typed out. This just would not do. That little incest-lover was going to mess up everything! He'd been showing Chuck the visions for a reason, now all his lovely imagination was going to be ruined by a very cute, insane fangirl! He was going to have to intervene, that's all there was to it. Taking a deep breath, Gabriel stretched out his wings and took flight.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Becky read over Chuck's newest section and let out an annoyed huff.
"Chuck, sweety, we've been over this," she griped, tired of having this discussion with her friend.
"Becky?" Chuck interupted her, upping her annoyance. "I don't think you get how this works. I get visions. I write the visions down. End of story."
"Fine. Then write it down in your little chicken scratch and hide it away in that pigsty you call a desk but don't put it in the book! I've told you a hundred times, you have to write what sells!" she admonished, growing tired of this same argument.
"And incestuous porn sells?" Chuck asked.
Becky cocked her head to the side. "Um, duh. It definitely sells better than unrighteous, unholy angel sex!"
"Becky-"
"Do I need to sic my fandom on you to prove it?" She asked, prepared to do just that if she needed to to make her point.
Chuck sighed. "No, I get the point. Incest in, destined angel love out."
Becky opened her mouth to thank him when the fluttering of wings rang through the living room. She whipped around, knowing what that sounded like but not sure what to expect. What she found was... so far from what she'd imagined.
"Aren't you a little short for an angel?" Becky blurted out. The other man gave her an offended look.
"I'm big where it counts," he answered offhandedly, gracing her with a smirk.
"Gabriel. Are you my guard now?" Chuck spoke up, reminding Becky of his presence.
"Something like that," the shorter man replied. "I'm actually here because we have a problem. You haven't been doing your job, Chucky."
Becky watched the color drain from Chuck's face. "Oh, boy. Are you here to smite me?"
Gabriel snorted. "It would serve you right! Did you learn nothing from Adam's mistake?"
Becky recognized Chuck's confused look. "Huh?"
"Adam listened to the woman and look what happened, Bucko! So... in summary, stop doing what the strompet says!" Gabriel said, voice sing-songing along while he finger-pointed at Becky.
"Hey! What did I do?" Becky had to ask.
"You're telling him not to write the most important part of the story! I go to all that trouble to send him those visions and you go and convince him to leave them out!"
"Wait, you're the one sending me the visions?" Chuck broke in again.
"Um, hello! Messenger of God, here. Who did you think was sending them, Buddha?" Gabriel asked with an amused sneer.
"I don't get what your problem is," Becky huffed.
Gabriel gave another long-suffering sigh. "The porn. The juicy, angst-ridden porn between a certain green-eyed Winchester and my clueless little brother."
Oh. That's what he's ticked about. Well, too bad. "He left it out because it's wrong," Becky pointed out.
Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "And butt sex between two brothers is right?" the angel asked.
Becky sighed. He just didn't get it. She would have to educate him.
"Sam and Dean are soul mates! They belong together! Dean went to Hell for Sam! Then Sam turned around and went to Lucifer's Cage for Dean! There's so much UST it's not even funny! And then you add in their errotic codependency-"
"Okay, I've heard enough. For one: soul mates can be platonic. Two: Sam didn't go to Hell for Dean, he went to Hell to save the world. Cas went to Hell for Dean. Three: do you even know what UST stands for?"
"Of course I do! And Sam and Dean are rolling in it! And Castiel made a short trip to Hell for Dean! And only because God ordered it!"
Gabriel cocked an eyebrow. "Semantics! You wanna see UST? I'll show you sexual tension." With that, Gabriel snapped his fingers. Becky jumped as a giant movie screen appeared directly behind her. "Popcorn, anyone?" The angel asked.
"Uh, what are you doing?" Chuck asked, a slight quiver to his voice.
"Proving to you that Dean and Castiel are a better 'ship than Sam and Dean."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Gabriel watched Becky glare at the screen. This was going to be so much fun. The only problem was deciding which glimpses of Dean and Castiel's sordid history to show them. There were so many to choose from!
"Okay, where do I start? Hmm... how about their 'profound bond'?" with that, Gabriel snapped his fingers and turned his attention to the screen. A familiar scene played out. Sam sitting, souless and faux-hurt as Castiel expressed his very evident feelings about his "bond" with Dean as explanation for ignoring Sam's pleas.
"That's the best you can do? Really?" Becky asked smugly. Gabriel narrowed his eyes. Well, if she wanted to play dirty, he could so do that.
"Okay, too easy? I can totally fix that." Gabriel snapped once more, changing the scene. "You know why Dean and Cas will last? Because they are destined. In every timeline, in every universe, they end up together," the angel told her, motioning to the new scene playing out on the screen.
"That's the future Zachariah showed Dean," Chuck spoke up.
"Yup."
Gabriel knew how this played out, but he watched the characters anyway.
"Dean... what are you doing here? Don't you have somewhere else to be?" Cas asked, voice lilting and slurring along the words.
"Dude, you're stoned... again," Dean muttered.
"When am I not?" the ex-angel asked, laughing to himself.
"You know, it's probably our last night on earth," Dean told his friend, the slightest bit of humor in his words amidst the earth-shattering pain.
"I've heard that one before. You really don't have to come up with passe cliches to fuck me."
"That doesn't count! Sam wasn't there! Of course he'd turn to his best friend if Sam was gone! It only proves that Castiel is second best to Sam!" Becky broke in, stepping in front of the screen just as the two figures came together in a clash of hands and lips and moans.
Gabriel just rolled his eyes. "Fine. How about this reality, then?" He snapped, once again changing the scene. Becky turned to watch.
"Sammy! Ellen is gonna skin you alive if she finds out Jo called you and filled you in but didn't call her or Bobby!" Dean called out as Sam walked towards Ellen and Bobby's porch.
"I got it! I'm going in to tell her now! Don't get your panties in a twist!"
Dean laughed as his brother entered their friend's home. The sound of fluttering wings pulled the older Winchester's attention.
"Hello, Dean."
"'Bout time, Cas. Thought you'd forgot about us," Dean said with a smirk as he turned to face the angel.
"I've been busy."
"Yeah. Heard about that. Your friend Balthazar has a seriously fucked up sense of humor, just so you know."
"Yes. I have.. spoken to him about that."
"Good. 'Cuz, I gotta tell you, that's really not what I want to talk about right now."
Castiel gave the hunter a small smile as he moved into Dean's space. Dean's hands came up to grip the angel's hips, pulling him flush against his own.
"And, what did you want to talk about?" Cas asked.
"Didn't want to talk at all," Dean muttered as he pressed his lips against Cas's.
"That doesn't count either!" Becky hissed, hitting him hard on the shoulder. Gabriel huffed out an annoyed sound.
"And why doesn't this count?"
"Castiel made that world!"
"No, he didn't!"
"Yes he did! He ordered Balthazar to sink the Titanic, thus creating that universe. He could have put whatever memories he wanted into Dean's head to make him think he wanted him rather than his Sammy!" The Archangel just rolled his eyes.
"Really? Fine." Gabriel snapped his fingers, changing the scene yet again. This time a myriad of pictures, multiple scenes flashed across the screen.
"I killed two angels today, my brothers, I rebelled, and I did it, all of it, for you!"
"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."
"Don't ever change."
The scene solidified for a moment as a short scene played out.
Castiel glanced at Dean. "What about you?"
"What about me?" Dean asked, giving Cas a heavy look. "I don't know. Honestly? I'm good. I can't believe I'm saying that, but, I am, I'm, I'm really good."
"Even without your brother?" Casitel asked curiously.
"Especially without my brother," Dean answered bitterly.
Cas gave Dean a surprised look.
"I mean I spent so much time worrying about the sonofabitch... I mean, I've had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years," he explained.
"Of course he's going to say that! Sam hurt him! He left! It's typical Dean. Pretend it doesn't hurt and fuck the nearest available thing!" Becky pointed out.
"You just don't stop, do you?" Gabriel asked, having to admit he was starting to admire the tenacity the crazy little fangirl was showing. "What is the big deal with Sam Winchester! Why can't you just see what a million other people see? That Dean and Cas are it? Endgame? OTP?"
"Because... it's Sam. All of Dean's life has been about Sam."
"You know, the only thing Sam has going for him is the size of his dick," Gabriel muttered before Becky could start another rant.
"Says the tiny man."
"Hey! I thought we'd established that I'm big where it counts!"
"What, your ego?"
Gabriel burst out laughing at that. Yes, he was really starting to like the little spitfire.
"Okay, in that case, I want to call a witness."
"Um, when did this turn into a trial?" Chuck asked, reminding the angel that the Prophet was still in the room.
"Well, it is a trial, isn't it? Your prophethood on the line and all."
Chuck blanched at Gabriel's words.
"I'm just kidding! I'm not gonna smite you. But seriously, if I win, you put the angel porn back into your story and stop listening to the wannabe Eve."
Chuck glanced between Becky and Gabriel before nodding.
"Okay, great, now. For my first witness. I call Sam Winchester," with that Gabriel snapped his fingers and a very confused hunter appeared in their midst.
"Gabriel?" Sam asked before turning to face the other two. "Okay, what the hell is going on? Where's Dean?"
"Ha! See?" Becky perked up at Sam's question. Gabriel sent her a quelling look.
"Sammy, I've got a question for you. Answer it, and I'll send you back to your hunt. 'Kay?"
Sam just stared at the Archangel. Gabriel would take that as a yes.
"Have you ever wanted to fuck your brother?"
Sam's jaw dropped and a look of horror appeared on his face. "God, no! What the fuck, Gabriel?"
"I'm just proving a point. Now, how many times have you walked in on Cas and your brother bumping uglies?"
Sam's pale face flared red at the question. Gabriel smirked. Score one for the Gabester!
"Way too many times. There's a reason we get separate rooms now."
"I rest my case. Your witness," Gabriel told Becky, turning to face the belligerent fangirl. The glare on her face was too perfect.
"No questions," she mumbled.
"Well, in that case-"
"Do you really have a cockzilla in your pants?" Chuck spoke up from his desk.
"Wha-?" Sam spluttered as Gabriel snapped his fingers, sending the hunter back to where he'd come from.
"Now, for my final piece of evidence... Chuck, I don't think you need to see this, how's about a nice night with the Casa Erotica female ensemble?" Gabriel snapped his fingers, sending Chuck to his own version of the Playboy mansion, complete with about 20 very hot, very naked girls.
He walked over to Becky and turned her to face the screen. He stepped in close and laughed at the small shiver she gave. Too easy, way too easy.
"This, right here, is why everyone should 'ship Dean and Cas." He snapped his fingers one final time. The image solidified on the screen.
Dean was draped over Cas as they lay together on a random motel bed. Both men were writhing and moaning as the hunter thrust lazily into the angel below him. Sweat glistened on the miles of skin that covered each taut body.
Gabriel glanced at Becky and smirked when he found her wide-eyed and breathing deeply. Her pupils were wide and dark, lust obvious in her face. He leaned over her shoulder to whisper. "See. This is why you should 'ship Destiel. They are so fucking hot together."
Becky nodded, not even trying to argue that point.
"So? The angel porn?"
"Is going right back in the story," Becky muttered, eyes still glued to the screen where Dean and Castiel were reaching their climax. "Can I keep this?"
Gabriel smirked. "Sure. On one condition?"
"Yeah?"
"You let me show you what's big besides my ego."