A week after Derek became a full wolf in Mexico and left Scott and the Pack behind after fighting against Kate and the Berserkers.
Stiles is lying on his bed, facing the ceiling. His Nose twitches as his hands fiddle around with each other. It's a beautiful day outside, but he feels blue and alone. He throws his red hoodie on a grey chair in his room and tucks himself under the warm comfort of his blanket. As he turns around, trying to close his eyes and fall into the sweet, safe state of sleep, he feels something wet and salty running down his check and into his mouth.
A teardrop.
And as he slowly drifts off into a world of happiness and imagination, filled with warmth and comfort, without the struggle to catch a breath and constant fear of something horrible impending, he remembers the night he felt safe. The night that felt so good, there was o doubt to say it was the best of his life. And whilst his head sinks deeper into the pillow, holding the constant thought of this one very special night, he starts remembering.
Stiles and Derek are standing in Derek's loft, shortly after Isaac and Peter had been there, talking about what to do with Kate. They just found out that she's a were-panther and contemplated about what to do. It was 10 pm/ and the rain and thunder underlined the fact that it was cold and dark outside. Derek stood at the window, looking at Stiles' worried reflection. He was staring right at him. Stiles stood in the middle of the empty loft, reeking of worry. With his shoulder in a shrug and his hands in his pockets it looked like he was about to say something. It was there, lying straight on his tongue. But he bit it to avoid an uncomfortable conversation with Derek Hale. He thou
He thought abut how much he loved talking. About anything and everything. All the time. And he thought about how Derek avoided talking, every time and all the time. He remembered talking to Lydia the day before. She told him she knew he felt about her differently. His face wouldn't heat up whenever she touched it, his heartbeat was at a constant beat. Even his eyes didn't spark as bright whenever he saw her. But right now, in this very moment, his heart was racing. It was so fast we was afraid it would ump out of his chest and scatter away. He put his hands to his worried face and felt the burning sensation mingling on his fingertips. Lydia was right. He didn't feel about Lydia the way he used to. He felt it, in this moment, standing in an open space, in Derek's loft. The feeling that made him see a little clearer, smile a little brighter, fell a little happier. And he chokes it down, like something that was meant to stay at the surface and should never be hidden. But he was scared about Derek's reaction since he was a mess at the moment… His thought stopped.
"Stiles? What do you want?" Derek said, his voice confused, slow, making it difficult for stiles to understand what he said. Stiles wanted to say something, answer something. No matter if it was. Something smart, stupid or easy. Anything really. It used to be so simple for him to let the words spill out of his mouth, yet now, they were left empty. Derek didn't seem to move. He was holding a bottle of Jack in his hand. A
"I…I.." Stiles starts desperately trying to say something that would help. Pressing his lips together, he frowns, removing his hands from his pockets to go through his hair.
I… I was … worried. About you." His voice cracks and Stiles surprises himself by how uncomfortable it makes him.
And then he realized.
He realized just how strong Stiles actually is, Losing his Mother in front of his eyes, still carrying on with life, when giving up would have been so much easier. How Stiles always puts his life in danger for the pack, even though he was the most vulnerable. He. A human trying to protect everyone with his silly baseball bat. Derek realized how difficult it must have been to hold him over water for over two hours and how he always stood behind Scoot, even when Scott didn't treat him right. He realized just how much he understood and cared for him. But he feared, what he had always feared. He could hear Stiles' heartbeat. A loud, fast, thu-thump. He knew Stiles was nervous, but he kept it to himself. Derek would hate himself forever, if Stiles' little human heart would stop beating because of something he did. 'Everyone around me, gets hurt. I can't let that happen to you, Stiles. I don't show you but I care more for you than you think.' Derek thought. But all that came out of his mouth was a dry
"Just go Stiles. I can take care of myself." He said sighing., turning back to face the window. He abruptly heard Stile' heartbeat rise, but in a different way. It was anger.
Stiles' fist curled with anger. Then he finally found his words again. They rumbled out like a waterfall of emotions. It scared him a little, but it also made him proud. Speaking up against he big bad Alpha, Derek hale. "Oh yeah, can you? Do you really think THIS," he said stepping closer to Derek and pointing at the bottle in Derek's hand, "Is taking care? This doesn't help anyone! I know losing family sucks and Kate probably bought back painful memories of that. But that does NOT mean that I will stand here and literally watch you ruin your freakin' life! You can't just curl up under your little werewolf tail, assuming that nobody cares! Because I care. Okay? And I won't let you destroy yourself by keeping this constant wall of emotional block up in front of everyone, Derek! You think that you've got everyone figured out. You think, that if you just pretend not to care nobody will notice, but when you feel something, people assume you don't because you keep EVERYTHING to yourself. But guess what. I get it, it's easier than admitting your feelings, but I will not let you drown your sorrows with
Secretly, Derek is stunned by Stiles outrage and feels heat rising up in his body, to fill his cheeks with a soft, red blush. Because until this moment, even after Stiles screamed at his face, Stiles is still holding on to his hand, gently stroking it, trying to be a subtle as possible.
Stiles shocked himself after his speech. He was felt like he could do anything and so he kept holding Derek's hand, even though the touch made his fingers tingle and Goosebumps rise from his arms.
And as they both stood in the cold empty loft, with a cold, dark surrounding, the felt nothing but warmth. And happiness. And comfort. Because it was the moment that the emotional wall Derek had worked on so hard to built, was crumbling. Increasing the closeness of them as a tear starts to run down Stiles' face.
He quickly takes his other hand to brush it away from under his eye. 'Shit' he thinks. 'Now that Derek actually likes me, I ruin it by crying like a baby,' he thinks turning his head away from Derek's face, hoping he didn't see.
'Stiles," Derek finally speaks up in the calmest voice, Stiles has ever heard.
He takes his hand and in Stiles surprise, turns Stiles head back towards him. Gently, he brushes the tear from his eyes.
