I've got musician's block.

I didn't know anything like that existed, but apparently it does. It's scary. Music has always flowed out of me, like a river racing downstream, but now something's blocked the river. The notes are all jumbled up in my head, and I can't play decent melody. Everything swirls and blurs and I feel like I'm going to be sick. Concentrate, I tell myself. Focus on something constant, and the spinning will stop.

The only stable thing I can think of is her.

Her eyes. Her smile. Her voice.

"You have to back to Boston."

The spinning starts again. It's all my fault. I was stupid to try, stupid to open my mouth.

I was stupid to fall in love in the first place.

It was just a moment. One insignificant second, and I fell totally, irrevocably in love with Skye Magee Penderwick.

It wasn't anything special. We were in Quigley Woods, just taking a walk. Skye had brought soccer balls along, but for once we weren't drilling. We were just walking side by side, enjoying the sunshine.

I must have said something funny, because she laughed. She laughed, and I fell in love.

That moment should have been nothing. She had laughed plenty of times before. Why was this so special? What separates worthless moments from priceless ones? Was it fate? Were the stars perfectly aligned above my stupid head?

Now I sound like Jane. A hopeless romantic.

Hopeless.

That's what this is. My dreams of what could be crash and burn at my feet. Here's us snuggling on the couch. Here's us dancing slowly to a love song. Here's us holding hands, kissing, getting married.

Here's the life I hoped for.

It's the life I'll never have.

Someday I'll get over this. My heart is on fire and it hurts, God it hurts, but no fire burns forever. The ashes of my fantasies will blow away, and I will be left empty. I'll return to my music, and Skye and I will be friends.

But I'll never be able to look at her without staring. Her eyes will always be sapphires, her hair always sunshine. My heart will skip when she smiles. I'm in love with her, forever and always.

No matter how hopeless.

Thanks for reading! Review please, and let me know what you think. I want to improve my angst, and your criticism will help tremendously. Until next fic! -jarjarjinx