A Mary Sue must make a dramatic entrance. She must capture the attention of everyone in the scene with her amazing good looks and super speshule powers.

-The Official Mary Sue Almanac, Chapter 1, Section 3

The Trilogy of Sue, Book One: The (Attempted) Takeover of Duel Academia

Chapter 1: The Obligatory Sue Introduction Chapter

It was a beautiful day for the students of Duel Academia. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was too bad all the students were stuck in classrooms. One particular classroom, room 87 to be exact, was the location in which the Sue-ism would begin.

In this classroom, the nameless random teacher ranted about how trap cards were better than monster cards, because he "Really liked the background color." At this point, all of the students (Rather, those who hadn't fallen asleep during the teacher's lecture) were extremely bored. Yuki Juudai was one of the few who wasn't sleeping and/or dead, having managed to stay awake by the means of entertaining himself. His main idea of entertainment was poking things. He had once stated "The satisfaction which is derived from the essence of poking is not from the poke itself, but from the manifestation of disturbance in he who is being poked." None of his friends were quite sure why he had said it, but they had all agreed that it was the most profound thing Juudai had said all week, the second being "Processed cheese has feelings too!"

After he lost interested in poking his neighbors, drawing moustaches on the faces of his duel monsters, and shooting paper footballs at Manjoume's head, (the entire sequence of events lasting roughly nine and a half minutes) Juudai decided to try entertaining himself in some other way: telling jokes.

"Psst. Sho." He whispered to his sleeping friend. "I have a joke to tell you."

"Why did you have to wake me up-su?" He mumbled. "I was having a dream about Black Magician Girl and Asuka mud wrestling in bikinis..." Having realized what he had said, Sho blushed and quickly corrected himself. "...I mean fruit! I was dreaming about fruit!"

"That's not the point, I've got a great joke!" Juudai said, growing more excited and impatient with each passing second.

"Yeah, I'm listening," Sho replied nonchalently, as he rested his head on the desk and in attempt to fall back asleep.

"Okay, so this little boy walks up to an old lady and asks for some money..." Juudai explained. "...No, an old lady walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some money...No, that's not it either. A parrot walks into a bus and asks a little boy for some money...No...Wait, I've got it! A parrot walks into a bar and asks a bus for some money! Yeah, that's it!"

"...And?" Sho asked.

Juudai paused for a moment. "...Darn, I forgot the punch line!"

"Mnm. That's nice," Sho replied, already half asleep.

Just as soon as Sho drifted back off into dreamland, and Juudai pondered the subject of sticking his pencil far enough up his nose that it would touch his brain, there was a soft knock at the door.

The teacher turned to the class. "Oh, I almost forgot," He said. "We have a new transfer student from America," The sleeping class was barely fazed by the teacher's statement. "Class." He said again, this time louder and angrier. "WE HAVE A NEW STUDENT!" His outburst was not only loud enough to wake the entire class, it also made them wonder why he hadn't spoken at that volume in the first place. "You may come in." He said to the person at the door.

And then she entered. Long, golden blond hair with pink streaks framed her beautiful face and accented her flawless complexion. Her deep purple eyes were like shimmering pools of...

The author has fainted, due to the immense levels of Sue-age. We're sorry for the inconvenience.

We now return you to your originally scheduled program.

...Grape juice. She walked gracefully up to the front of the class and smiled. "Hello," She said, her voice as beautiful as she was. "My name is Angel Stardust Diamond."

"Welcome to Duel Academia, Miss Diamond," Said the teacher. "Now, please ta..."

"I was born and raised in poverty," Angel stated. "I realized my love for duel monsters at the age of five..."

"Miss Diamond..." The teacher interrupted. "Please take your seat."

Angel let out an exasperated sigh. "You mean I don't get to tell my life's story?" She whined.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to get back to class," The teacher told her. "Take your seat."

Angel "Hmph-ed" and walked to an open seat near the front of the room.

"...Wow..." Juudai sighed. "She's HOT!"

"Aniki, you say the same thing about all girls," Sho pointed out.

"So?" Juudai said.

"You also said that about Daitokuji-sensei."

"Well..."

"...And Fubuki."

"You see..."

"...And Hayato's chia pet."

"Hey, that chia pet was one foxy babe!" Juudai shouted, while standing on his chair and pointing towards Sho. Several students began to stare.

Sho simply sweatdropped. "Whatever you say, Aniki," He sighed.

Hmm. Angel thought. These people are stupider than I had imagined. She grinned evilly. Yes...I'll take over this place in no time.