Kai: Hey, it's Kai here again. Well, obviously. The last FF I wrote was an epic fail, only 2 reviews T.T how sad. Well, hopefully this one is better? Read and Review! And PM me tooooooo. It will be better!

Sasori: It won't be.

Kai: Aw, what a meanie.

Tobi: Don't be mean, 'Sori-danna!

Deidara: *Blows something up.

Kai: ...

Hidan: Shut up bitches! The plot goes to Kai-sama and we belong to Masashi Kishimoto, a legend. Like ME!

Kai:...

.

Mahi walked down the footpath, wincing at the pain in her leg.

"Mahi! Wait up, slut." Came a voice behind her. Kutsu ran up, dragging Hato with her.

"Hurry up. They're here already." Came Mahi's reply, as she swiped a kunai across her palm, licking the blood off in one clean motion. Sparks came from her finger tips. "Get ready girls."

"Fuck, yeah!" Kutsu drew her knife out of her sleeve and licked the tip, cleaning the blood of the metal, just slightly.

Hato just stood serenely, her white hair tossing in the breeze, as her Konoha headband was in her hand. "Are you okay, Hato?" Mahi asked, touching Hato's arm gently. She bit her lip and nodded.

"Hato, Mahi, Kutsu." Came a voice in front. The shadows moved slightly and revealed 3 dark shapes in the night air.

"Yes." Came Mahi's reply, coolly. The shapes appeared beside them and each one, took their arm and led them into the building.

"Get your fucking hands off me, you bloody bitch or I'll swear to Jashin-"

"-Jashin?" He interrupted Kutsu, gripping her arm tighter.

"Yeah, you jackass, fuuuck! Waaait a second, you're pretty hot!" Kutsu drawled on as they stepped into the light of the Akatsuki base.

The man holding Kutsu did a double take as he examined Kutsu. Her long dark hair and crimson eyes narrowed, biting a red immaculately painted nail, her low cut wife beater showing off a fair amount of cleavage.

...

"You're Jashinist? " The white haired man asked as he continued leading Kutsu towards another door.

"Hell, yeah, bitch. Now, fuck, let go of me and we can have some fun, yeah, isn't that right Hato?"

Kutsu yelled and looked back towards Hato who was walking serenely beside a red haired man, looking emotionless and calm, very much like the man beside her.

Mahi walked besides the man with the strange Rinnegan in his eyes and unruly orange hair. "So, Mahi, Kutsu and Hato, you are now officially sworn in to our organization-"he started.

"Get on with it, bitch!" Kutsu yelled and Hidan, who was holding her, felt like he was about to drop dead.

"Ahh shit, we don't need another Hidan in the house!"came a man with blonde bangs falling over his right eye. He was dressed in the Akatsuki robe like the rest of the people excluding Hato, Kutsu and Mahi.

"Never mind. I'm so tired of all this. Just get to know each other. Seeya." Pein sighed and let go of Mahi's arm, gliding into the room in the corner.

"So. Where do we sleep?" Mahi asked, yawning a little, as the blonde man came and stood next to her.

"Wooooo~ They're hot! Yessssssssss." He howled grabbing Mahi's arm and licking her neck seductively. Mahi didn't flinch instead taking her kunai and dragging it across Deidara's thigh, licking the residue off the blade. Hidan shuddered, "Fucking hot, Deidara."

Mahi made her handsigns quick. Horse, Dragon, Horse.

"Katsu!" She said quietly, before sending Deidara 40,000 volts of electricity jolting up his body for a few seconds.

Deidara stopped shaking. "Like I said, hot."

"Mahi means paralyse, you know. " Mahi smirked, kicking Deidara with the heel of her shoe. "Kutsu-san can sleep with me in my room. Kakuzu's away on a mission." Hidan purred, clutching Kutsu to his chest, licking up her neck slowly with the tip of his tongue. Kutsu reached up a hand and clutched the back of Hidan's head, moaning.

"SLUT!" Mahi yelled and Kutsu winked at her. Then the two of them went into Hidan's room.

Trouble.

Kutsu's POV

I led him in, pushing him against the door. "So." I breathed against his ear, feeling a shudder go through his body. "You think I'm..hot?" I whispered again biting his earlobe and licking the shell of his ear, slowly, torturing him. I felt something jut against my thigh (I WONDER WHAT IT COULD BE :3)

He bent down, "Fuck, yeah." And his lips met mine, battling in a hot battle of urgency and heat. Wow, I was rusty. I used to do this every night. I licked my tongue against his and he moaned urgently. Then I gave him a sisterly peck on the lips and left the room, winking.

"I think I'll room with my sisters tonight."

Then he looked at me with a crazed look, kinda like WTF-JUST-HAPPENED.

Then he flipped me off.

Typical.

...

Kai: So did you enjoy that?

Hidan: Hell, no, you gave me a boner and, and and and, i didn't get no fucking anything!

Kai: CHILL!

Kutsu: I liked it!

Mahi: So-so. It was okay.

Hato:...

Tobi: TOBI TOBI TOBI TOBI TOBI TOBI. IS A GOOD BOY! AND IS NOT MADARA IN THIS STORY! FALALALALAALALALALA~ !

Everyone else: ...