Jeeves and the Opera Ghost

So, I've been coming up with a lot of cross-over ideas for Jeeves and Wooster, because for some reason, I have to make all of my Jooster stories as cross-overs. I love the show and the few stories I read, and I love The Phantom of the Opera, so I thought I'd combine them for my first Jooster cross-over. My best friend, and the person who got me into both of these, will be helping me as well in a collaboration. Yay! Anyway, the point-of-view will be first person, because I am obsessed with it, and will be switching between viewpoints. I won't tell you whose viewpoints, because I hate you.

Chapter One – Affection at First Note

Bertie's POV

I sat down in the grand, fancy chair that occupied box six in the grandiose Paris Opera House with a displeased frown and an eager Jeeves seated beside me and my good friend Tuppy Glossop and my dear cousin Angela just behind us. I say Jeeves was eager. You couldn't really tell just by looking at him. The average observer would think he was quite as disinterested as I was. But years of observing said valet has taught this particular Wooster how to pick up on the signs of when Jeeves was excited about something. A slight twitch of the facial muscle near the mouth, an eyebrow raised a full quarter of an inch was enough to convey happiness in my Jeeves.

I, on the other hand, were already wishing I were somewhere else. I was languishing more than you, my faithful audience, can imagine. And the orchestra hadn't even started to warm up yet. I was pleased to see that my companion, Tuppy, was struggling to keep away a yawn, and his eyes had already hazed over with the familiar look of boredom that was no doubt plastered all over my own features. A moment later, my annoyed cousin gave him a sharp nudge to the ribs, lest he begin snoring before the overture began.

Deciding to make conversation with someone there, I turned to Jeeves and said, "So Jeeves, what is this Faust chappie all about, anyway?"

I should not have asked.

Jeeves entered into a long-winded explanation of the legend and the author of the opera Faust that was so lengthy, complicated and mind-numbingly tedious that I was nearly drawn to tears in boredom. And the orchestra hadn't even warmed up yet.

At last, the orchestra decided to have mercy on me and I could hear the hum of the tuning string off in the distance. I interrupted Jeeves, who was perhaps about only one eighth of the way through the first act of the story, with a "look! I think they're about to start!" Never before had I been so happy for an opera to be starting while I was in the room with it. I think the opera was the only thing that could stop Jeeves and his tirade of knowledge.

As soon as the lights began to dim, Tuppy muttered something about maybe going to find us all drinks, but Angela immediately stopped him. Even I could see through his façade, and knew that he had just been hoping that he could slip away unnoticed and only return several hours later at the end of the performance with an "oh sorry, chaps! This place is dreadfully large and I found myself getting a bit lost!" Partly because I had been hoping to do the same.

At last the opera began proper, and I was forced to keep my posterior in my seat. I must say, the voices were tip top, but I couldn't understand a word they were saying. I do wish they would enunciate a bit more, it was like they were singing in some other language. I thought I caught a word here and there, but then decided I must have misheard, for I heard something about razors, cars, (neither of which seemed particularly prominent in this opera) and I swear several cast members were quacking like a duck.

I was on the verge of drifting off into a stupor of absolute boredom when it happened. She came on stage. The beautiful leading lady of the entire thing, with her fair skin, her gentle, golden curls that framed her gorgeous sapphire eyes and ruby lips. The moment her sweet voice reached my ears, I swear it set off fireworks behind my eyes…

Oh, I do apologize. I did it again, haven't I? I've started in the middle of the story, leaving my poor readers wondering what was happening and why their dear Wooster was in France. Let me explain.

It began about a month ago. My dear friend Gussie Fink-Nottle had been doing what he does best: being discovered in a compromising situation by Madeline with a maid, and having her break off their engagement with tears, despite what was actually going on was quite innocent. Madeline Bassett, to those who don't know, is under the impression that I am absolutely smitten with her and would love to go gallivanting off with her the moment she became disengaged, despite the fact that I'd rather live the rest of my days at least a hundred miles away from the Bassett menace at all times.

Anyway, by way of things, I found myself suddenly and reluctantly engaged to this bit of cheerful excrescence who loves to shoot her mouth off about daisy chains and pixie bunnies and what not. Jeeves, my faithful and eminently brainy man-servant, was the one who flew to the rescue of his dear master, though not without his price. Somehow, he convinced me that the only way he could fix the situation was if I were to grant him three weeks in France to view the sights and sounds of the place.

As to why Tuppy and Angela were there, well, I can explain that as well. I was bemoaning my fate to my favorite cousin, as I felt that I had somehow been deceived by my faithful valet, mentioning that we would be going away to France. Immediately, Angela's eyes lit up and her hands clasped in front of her in girlish delight. Beside her, Tuppy's (oh, by the way, Tuppy was there, too) face broke into a huge, toothy grin. They explained to me how they had been longing to go to France themselves. They spoke at the same time, saying how they wanted to sample the architecture, the food, the people, the food, the theatres, the food, the "tall, pointy tower" (which Tuppy explained had a wonderful café at the top), the food, the music and the food.

I did the cousinly thing and invited them to join my less than merry band, and the next thing I knew, the four of us were gallivanting off on a boat to the good old land of wine and cheese. We spent a couple of days taking in the sights of the great city of Paris. As much as I wanted to complain, the city was very exciting to look at, and the food was indeed amazing, while the people were extraordinarily beautiful.

We were about four days into our vacation when Jeeves mentioned to Angela about a "fantastic opera" that was premiering at the Paris Opera House, or the "Palais Garnier" as he called it. He was saying how he had won tickets to a performance of an opera called "Moused," with prime seating in one of the boxes. I would have easily just said "Have a nice time" and left it at that, if it were not for Angela. She wanted to go as well.

"If you want to go to some bally thing like 'Moused', then I won't stop you," I told her, trying not to let out a sigh of annoyance. "But why must Tuppy and I come with you?"

"First of all, it's called 'Faust,'" Angela growled, placing her hands on her hips. "Second, I don't think it proper for a young lady like myself to be accompanied to an opera by someone else's personal gentleman. People would start to talk, you know."

"But no one here knows you," Tuppy pointed out reasonably. "They wouldn't know that he doesn't belong to you."

"I know," Angela snapped. "And it makes me uncomfortable." She glared over at Tuppy. "You're my fiancé, I should think that you would want to take me to an opera."

Tuppy let out a long sigh. There was really no good way to answer her statement without sounding like an uncultured and selfish swine.

"Will there be hors d'oeuvres at this place?" he asked eventually in a somewhat defeated tone. Angela rolled her eyes.

"No," she said flatly.

"Fine," Tuppy growled, seeing no way out of this.

How I got roped into going with them, I'll never know. I recall that there was a long, lengthy argument that may have gotten off track once or twice, and next thing this Wooster knew, he was being seated in box six along with his eager and less eager companions. Which brings us back to that singular moment.

I was instantly captivated by this young opera singer, but when her voice rang out in song, it was then that I fancied that I fell in love with her. Her voice was so otherworldly, and hauntingly beautiful. It was a voice I had never heard before. It was like she sang directly from her soul!

"Who is that beautiful woman singing, Jeeves?" I whispered to my valet in an awed voice, my eyes glued to her.

"She's the understudy to the prima donna, La Carlotta," Jeeves muttered back. "You'll find her name in the program, if you care to check."

And indeed, on page four, was the name: Christine Daaé. The most beautiful name for the most beautiful girl in the world. I was smitten. My eyes refused to stray from the stage as long as she was there.

But then she left the stage, and my enthusiasm went with her. I cast an incredibly weary eye across the room and noticed the box straight across from us. Box five, as Jeeves later told me it was, was completely empty. Not a strange sight in itself, but the rest of the theatre was filled to bursting. Except for this one box.

Now, I'm not a business man, but what would possess the folks of the opera house to not sell an entire box, which I was led to believe was one of the most expensive seats in the house? Seems bally well bonkers to me.

Then, I noticed a spot of movement in that box. My eyes had adjusted slightly to the darkness, so I could see a shadow moving in the back, and a speck of light. I thought it odd, until I realized that it must be the box keeper. Now what was she doing? It looked like she was laying down a foot stool! But why would she do that? There was no one in that box! Maybe it was a French thing? Or maybe someone had the good sense to only rent out the box for the last half of the opera?

I thought about asking Jeeves about it, but his eyes were completely centered on the stage, and the look on his face seemed to tell me that if I tried to divert his attention, he would continue his unbearable lecture on the finer points of the dratted opera.

The opera continued in its opera-y way, with my attention only being captured when Miss (at least, I hoped she was a miss) Daaé was on stage, Jeeves and Angela sitting rapt on the edge of their seats, while Tuppy constantly woke himself up with his own snoring. It continued on and on, and I dare say that it became tiresome after a while.

Finally, mercifully, the final curtain was drawn, and Tuppy and I were jostled awake from shouts and roars from the audience down below. We quickly stood up to join Angela and Jeeves with the clapping of our support, and I think I lost myself a bit when Christine came out to take a bow. I was beside myself with joy.

"Oh Jeeves, I simply must meet her!" I exclaimed over the noise. For some strange reason, I saw the excitement on Jeeves's face drop by a full half a centimeter. Odd, but at the moment, I didn't really care. I put it down to just being disappointed by the fact that the opera was over and he would have to return to the servants' quarters at the hotel where we were staying.

About half an hour later, I was leading the way down the hallways that was filled with ballerinas and half-dressed singers getting out of their costumes. Jeeves strolled reluctantly behind me, with Tuppy and Angela having said that they would meet me back at the hotel. If I had looked behind me, I knew Jeeves would have a look of disapproval on his face. He didn't care much for my more whimsical fancies, or my tendency to fall hard and fast for a beautiful profile.

But I was too determined to meet this girl to care what Jeeves thought of me at the moment. I was going to burst into her room and declare my love for her, and see if she would have me. There was only one problem. There was already another young man waiting outside her door.

And that's where I'm going to end this chapter because it is eleven at night and I am typing this in a Pizza Hut. So, next time, my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Fluxit Aqua et Sanguine, will be taking over with the next chapter. Tell us what you think so far, and we'll be switching to a new view point. I still won't tell you whose, because I still hate you. (But not really! XD)