What seems to be a TF2 pyro enters the room and sits at the table. Said pyro removes its mask and is revealed to be the author, "Greetings ladies and gents, and welcome to my newest fic. Now before you start the lynch mobs over my other works, I will admit that I am on the fence with shinobi of the mind, WDHM is being thought up as is, and FiS is still being worked on. Its just that when inspiration hits me, I can't help but to act on it. Also, before anyone comments on the seriousness in the fic or rather lack of it. Remember people, its saints row, and since when have the Saints EVER made sense? Anyways, enjoy!"

"Man, why can't I find anything good on here?"

That guy right there, searching through all the games and such on the playstation network? Average height, average build, yeah, Thats me right there. My name? Like heck I'll tell you, but if you must call me something, then call me Blaze. Why don't I tell you a story, a story about how one man rises to glory, how he becomes a hero to the masses, fame and fortune where ever he goes. How... ah fuck it, this is just a story about how I kick ass. Now, like any story, this one begins in a messed up way."Come on, come on... what is there to do? I mean, seriously, theres gotta be something to do. I... hello whats this?" I came to a stop after I found something that caught my eye. "Professor Genki's real deal mode, huh? Odd, never noticed this before, a new thing for Saints Row three? shouldn't this be for the fourth or even GooH?" When I seen the price I whistled, "Free eh, well, lets see what it is. Going into the description, it read this, ' tired of slow predictable action? Wanting to Have things get really exciting? all the fame, excitement, and mayhem that is the saint's? Then try Real Deal mode, with this mode, you'll get all the excitement that is the saint's and none of the boredom!'

Looking at the size, it was a mere three and a half megabytes. I shrugged and chuckled to myself, "What do I think this is? One of those crazy fanfics where the player gets pulled into the game?"

I laughed as i downloaded the thing I figured was just another difficulty setting. After setting up everything, I went through the prelude, where, after clearing that, I decided to get my version of the boss off the site and use her, after which, I went to start it, when a different screen popped up with Professor Genki, upon which, he spoke, "Hey there, and welcome! Before you go off and start, here is where you make the biggest decision of your life! Now, here's the deal! If you chose to go with Real Deal mode, you'll have all the fun excitement and danger of real life in the saints! Otherwise you will stick with everything in the plain old boring style? SO! What's your choice?"

After finishing, a menu popped up with the choices, 'Turn on Real Deal Mode?' and 'Go with Sad old boring normal mode?'. Chuckling, I chose to go with real deal mode, upon which, Genki did a flip and said, "Goody goody! You're gonna have such fun! Now hold on! Time for the real deal!"

As soon as he said that, he brought out a camera and looked through it, at the same time, a camera I had connected to my system turned on. In the time it took me to say, 'What the fu-?' It flashed and suddenly I felt a tight feeling on my arms and legs. Looking around I found myself in a place that made me go wide eyed. As I heard a familiar french accented voice speak, I looked around to gage the situation. I was restrained just behind the boss, who, going by the blue spiky hair, and the russian accent, I knew was the version of the boss I made. As they talked, I worked on slipping my hands free, thankful for learning escape artist techiniques. Making sure once my hands were free to keep them still, I waited for the que, which didn't take long as I watched Johnny suddenly pull the chair up. Acting quickly, I got the restraints off my ankles before going and quickly turning and punching the guard behind me in the face. As the guard staggered, I yanked his gun from his hand and fired a burst into him before turning and following the boss and Shaundi. As we ran, I quickly pistol whipped another morning star member with the uzi I had, knocking him out. Working quickly, I got his parachute off him and continued running. Quickly catching up to the two, I let Boss and Shaundi shoot the female morning star members while i took down the men... what? I am a feminist, I wouldn't harm a-. I ducked when a bullet shot past my ear and shot back at the shooter, taking out a female morning star member... I wasn't just gonna let myself get shot. Rushing to the hatch, I was suddenly thrown off my feet and out the hatch when Johnny took control of the plane. quickly orienting myself, I looked toward the ground and spotted the boss with Shaundi further down. Remembering what was gonna happen, I straightened out and shot downward, just as the boss opened her parachute after catching Shaundi. In my descent, I dealt with the remnants of the goons that the boss didn't get. I looked down just in time to watch the boss throw shaundi and dived down, quickly catching her myself and opening my chute. Making sure I had a good grip, I asked, "You alright?"

As predicted, she sarcastically said, "Yeah, sure, as alright as anyone would be getting thrown out of a plane, caught by our psycho boss, and then thrown by said boss."

Giving her a deadpan look, I commented, "A simple thank you would have sufficed."

She rolled her eyes just as the boss caught up and opened her parachute, descending with us. Her expression was of someone who had a wild time as she looked

at us and said, "You didn't do too bad new guy, and I knew you would catch Shaundi, nice job!"

Shaundi and I both gave her a deapan look as we continued down. Upon landing, I set Shaundi down on her feet quickly in order to keep from getting punched or kicked then got my chute off. Once that junk was off, I looked around to get my bearings. Walking after the two psycho women, I thought to myself, 'Ok, smells? check, sounds? check, minor pain from landing? Definite check. Well, no denying it, I am in steelport, with the version of the boss I made and Shaundi. If it wasn't for the fact that going nuts right now would cause either one of these two would turn around hit me, I would do so, maybe I should-.' I was cut off from my thought when the boss punched out an atm, getting me to change my mind about going even a little nuts. Quickly, as the two headed for a parked car, I followed and got in the back. As the boss drove, I idly watched everything outside the car, considering as a way to keep calm, lowering the window and doing a drive-by. Before I could act, the boss asked to me, "Hey new guy, what do you think."

Turning to her, I asked, "Think of what?"

"Think of raiding the military base here in steelport for weapons. We need the equipment and the base has it."

I shrugged, "Sounds dangerous, stupid, suicidal. Perfect for saints like us. So I'm in, though considering who is behind the wheel, that question was rhetorical wasn't it?"

Boss merely grinned from what I could see in the rearview mirror and replied, "You catch on quick, by the way, never caught your name."

I smiled amused and replied, "Just call me Blaze boss, don't really like to give out my name."

She laughed, "Sounds as though you and I will get along fine, da?"

I simply chuckled as we drove, eventually arriving at a friendly fire store. I sat back, waiting on the boss as shaundi spoke up asking, "So, Blaze? What got you to join up? With us I mean."

I shrugged then improvised, knowing I would have been asked that, "Meh, got bored, figured I would try my hand at something different in life."

She actually looked back at me incredulous. "You joined us because you were bored?!"

"Hey, people have done crazier things when bored, I just simply chose something that would keep me on constant edge."

She shook her head, "I am beginning to think you and the boss really will get along... thanks by the way."

I raised an eyebrow, "For what?"

She rolled her eyes, "For being an idiot, for catching me when the boss threw me while we were falling."

I shrugged again, "Hey, I may be here for shits and giggles but I still don't intend to let you or any members of the saints down."

She looked like she was gonna say something but before she could, the boss got back in and we headed out with her saying, "Ok, so now on to the military base, lets see how much we can get shall we?"

I simply braced myself and checked the ammo in my gun, nervous. When we arrived at the bridge, a quick glance at the boss's expression in the rearview mirror prompted me to take a deep breath and get out part of a prayer just as the boss gunned it and plowed through the gate, prompting the guards to sound the alarm. Getting out, we immediately opened up on the guards, after clearing the guards, I heard Shaundi say something but was distracted, looking at a shelf, I suddenly grinned as I thought, 'jackpot'. Rushing over, I picked up of all things, a flamethrower, and rushed to the entrance of the building. Getting it started, I opened up on the guards coming at us while the boss used a drone to launch missiles. As I watched, the air cavalry showed up in the form of pierce and some helicopters manned by the saints showed up. Rushing, I circled the building, hoping for good escape, and was cheering to myself as I found a military chopper. I quickly got in and started it, taking off after the others. Slipping in behind the military choppers, I opened up on them, helping the others as I gunned down the military helicopters. Once we were clear, I followed the other saint choppers to drop off my new toys, then got a ride to the safehouse from another saint. Once there, I went in to find the boss hanging out with Shaundi. Taking a seat after setting my flamethrower off to the side, I turned to the boss and asked, "so what now boss?"

As she cleaned her gun, the boss replied, "I'm gonna meet with pierce in a bit, get something and discuss ideas." She tossed me a phone, "Use that to keep track of everyone, cause after what you have shown, you may just be worth having around as backup."

I nodded, "Thanks boss, so I guess now its a matter of me going and seeing what to do?"

She nodded, "Da, while you are out, keep an eye out, some of the crates that fell from the plane had money in them, we can use that to help us here in steelport."

I nodded and headed out, deciding to myself, "While the boss deals with her stuff, I am gonna handle a few things on my own'. Going out, I started walking around town, my clothes helping me blend in as the deckers that were also around pretty much ignored me. I knew it would only be a matter of time though, that eventually I would be noticed and connected to the saints by them, but was gonna get as much use of my anonymous nature as I could. Remembering where a couple money crates were, sure enough, I found them and promptly called them in, keeping five thousand from each one. With the money on hand, I decided I was gonna need to get myself set up with my own car and some good clothes. Heading into familiar territory, I arrived at the 'Nobody Loves Me,' Store. Stepping inside, a few goths and Deckers had looked up at me. The goths went back to what they were doing while the deckers kept their eye on me. As I went about picking my clothes, I eyed them back, determining what most of them wore. As I picked out the pieces for the outfit I was gonna wear, I stiffened on the inside as an english accented voice spoke up saying, "So mate, mind telling me what you're doing here in our turf?"

Turning around, I found myself looking at a decker, and not just any, but a specialist. Noticing that a few of the other deckers had closed in, I raised my hands, showing I was no threat as I said, "I am just picking out an outfit, I just arrived here in town a couple days ago and lost my clothes when some jerk in a suit took my suitcase, even pointed a gun at me and even shouting something about toll for entering their turf."

She chuckled, "Well, considering where the airport is, no surprise the morningstar jumped you."

She motioned to the other deckers, who calmed down and went back to what they were doing as she asked, "So whats your name?"

I rubbed the back of my head, "Most people call me Blaze, though mainly cause I don't like telling people I don't know my real name, and Blaze just stuck because of my traits."

"Oh really? What kind of traits?"

I chuckled, seeing she wasn't suspicious of me, "I have a love for speed, fast bikes, fast cars, fast planes, I love speed. Plus, I have slight pyromaniac tendecies so that didn't help any."

She laughed, "Those would be good reasons."

As I picked out the final piece to the set I was going with, the specialist whistled, "Strategem medley combo huh?"

I knew what she was talking about but I turned to her and said, "Excuse me?"

She motioned to the clothes amused, "The strategem medley combo, thats what me and my, 'friends' call it, because of how it looks like Wesker from Resident evil."

I blinked, surprise that resident evil even existed in this world, "You play resident evil?"

She frowned and crossed her arms, "Got a problem with that?"

I quickly shook my head, "NO! No, not at all, its just, I hadn't expected to run into another RE fan."

She raised an eyebrow, "So, you think you're a fan huh? Who was the main character of resident outbreak one and two?"

Realizing what she was doing, I replied, "Which one? There was Mark, Kevin, Cindy, Yoko, David, Alyssa, Jim, and george."

She continued, "What were their jobs?"

Without breaking a sweat, "From the order I listed it was security guard, cop, waitress, former member of umbrella turned to jobless amnesiac, plumber, news paper reporter, subway worker, and doctor."

"where do they start in the game?"

"Trick question, they each start at different areas, five in each game, but in chronological order, they start in J's bar in the first outbreak, and escape from either the college in 'decisions decisions', or from either an overpass in a truck or from a ruined mainstreet in a helicopter in the second one in the chapter, 'end of the road'."

She continued firing a barrage of questions about resident evil at me, and I answered them correctly, causing the other deckers to gather, curious and amazed. Finally, the specialist stopped and smirked as she said, "Well, I guess I can forgive you then, can't stay mad at another fan, especially a cute one."

I blushed as she turned and left, skating away. As I watched her leave, my gaze fell to her ass as she glanced back, still smirking, making me realize she wanted me to do that. I still had a faint blush as I paid for my outfit. Remembering that the boss was gonna take a syndicate hideout, I decided to go to a planet saints for an appropriate Saints outfit, but also I still needed a car. Getting some distance from the store and making sure there wasn't any gang members or police around, I waited and looked along the road for a car to hijack when I seen it and whistled. Coming my way was my favorite, the attrazione. Not intending to let it get away, I got out my gun and got in front off the car, prompting the driver to stop in alarm, allowing me to come around and yank him out before jumping in and driving off. With a good car on hand, I stopped at planet saints and got a good saint's outfit. Then I quickly went to the pay and spray that was close to the safehouse and got the car set up. I went with red with a blue stripe down the middle, blue inside as well, as well as tire poppers in the wheels. With my car set up, I went back to the safehouse and hung out when my phone rang with the boss's number. I quickly answered, "Whats up boss?"

She replied, "Got yourself a car new guy?"

I grinned, "Yep, need me somewhere?"

"Yeah, I need you to head to the airport, we found a better place for us, only issue is that the syndicate assholes are holed up there."

"Alright, I will meet you at there then, try not to be jealous when you see my ride."

Hanging up, I quickly got into my saints outfit, covering my face in the process before grabbing an assault rifle from the stache and heading for the car. After a fast hair raising drive (for anyone else), I arrived at the airport where I found Pierce and the boss next to a helicopter waiting. Pulling up with flair, drifting so that my car had its back to them, I got out grinning, saying to the boss, "How do you like my new ride?"

She laughed, "You found a good ride alright comrade, I guess luck was on your side!"

Pierce then came over and said, "So you're the new guy the boss mentioned? The pyromaniac helicopter pilot?"

I shrugged, "One time with the flamethrower and I am marked for life."

The boss gave me a deadpan look, "You nearly burned down the base and then brought the flamethrower with you when we got out of the base."

I rolled my eyes before asking despite knowing, "So whats the plan boss?"

She climbed into the helicopter saying, "The plan is that we are going to drop into a morningstar penthouse from the helicopter, then clear our way to the elevator where we will let shaundi and the others in, though leave the flamethrower, I'd rather not burn down our new place."

I mock pouted but replied, "K, sounds like a good plan then."

Hearing that, Pierce looked back at us like, 'What the fuck,' then turned back shaking his head. Once airborne, I sat opposite of the boss, checking my gun, making sure I was well stocked. Once ready, I watched the city go by, sneaking glances occasionally at the boss, or rather, her chest, admiring the idea that I had put her chest size to the max when I made her, though after a bit She seen what I was doing, grinned then stretched, deliberately showing off her chest. Seeing this, I blushed and resumed looking out at the city, hearing her chuckle as I did so. Finally after a bit, we arrived over the penthouse, where the boss leaned out and looked at the building below. I quickly got ready as she gauged the situation, then jumped out after her when she jumped. Opening my chute, I aimed for the landing pad and followed the boss, quickly landing after her. We both walked up the stairs, our guns out while nobody noticed us at first when the boss grabbed the guy closest to the stairs, got the elevator codes from him, then threw him over the side. I opened up first as I seen morningstar members notice us and quickly got a couple with a well aimed burst. I snagged cover beside the boss and occasionally peeked out and nailed some of the enemy. We slowly worked our way inside till we got to the elevator controls and let our guys in. When we cleared the place, Shaundi immediately reported to us about the bomb while the boss went after the escaping lieutenant. Not wanting to risk our lives, I rushed to where Shaundi was and looked over the bomb. Spotting the red wire, I quickly snatched the wire cutters from shaundi and snipped the red wire, deactivating the bomb. As everyone, me included, breathed a sigh of relief, Shaundi promptly punched me saying, "You idiot, you could have killed us!"

I scowled, "Yet I didn't and the bomb is defused."

Before she could say anything, the boss called in and told us which wire to cut only for Shaundi to tell her I already got it. When the boss came back, she was grinning as she punched me in the shoulder and said, "Well done comrade, you never told us you were good at bomb disposal."

I shrugged, " just got a lucky guess in."

She laughed, "Good thing it was not me to guess," She slung an arm around my shoulders, "Now, come, let us pick out our rooms shall we?"

I merely shook my head as she lead me to where the good rooms were. Eventually I snuck away and settled on a room below the elevator in the power room. I

chose it cause it was quiet and unnoticable to anyone upstairs. After getting a temporary bed in there and making sure there wasn't any cameras in there, my

adrenaline that kept me awake for the past two days, finally ran out. I barely made it to my bed when my eyes shut on me and I fell into my bed, out cold.

"Well, there's chap 1, hopefully you people enjoy it. I will try like with my other works to keep it updated and-."

I'm interrupted when a curvy female pyro comes jogging and and tuggs on my sleeve and says something incomprehensible, "What? Now?! I am trying to-." I am interrupted when the pyro pulls on me trying to pull me to the battlefield, "WAIT AT LEAST LET ME JUST! READ AND REVIEW PEOPLE AND-." Yelps when I am dragged out only to run back in, " AND YES I AM ON TF2 JUST LOOK UP cipherthefightingwriter AND I-." Gets hit in the head by the bat of a female scout and dragged out by said scout and the female pyro.