How to piss off the Cullen family!
First the men, then the women!
Carlisle:
-Tell Carlisle that Esme is eloping with a "younger" vampire
-ask him to bite you
-demand that he name an island after you
-Tell him that hes raising a broken family
-keep appearing at the hospital and when he asks you what keeps happening simply look away and say you just wanted to see him again
-find him and tell him that the house blew up!
-Tell him that Edwards decided to leave the family
and finally
-Tell him that everyone, especially Esme, just joined the family for the money and they all hated him
Edward
-Refuse to go anywhere near him as he might get bloodlust and fall in love with you
-Consistantly remind him he was almost beaten by a werewolf
-think disgusting thoughts
-Tease him for falling in love with a narrow minded klutz
-ask him to bite you
-ask him to make a mutant, hybrid vampire baby with you
-when he telsl you no shout at him and say that you are going to go ask Jasper now
-Or Jacob
-Tell him that at least Jacob is warm, and hes closer to human, and hes alive
-Just say "Jacob" repeatedly
-ask him if, just coz hes a vampire, he still needs to use the bathroom
-scream at him WHY DIDNT YOU JUST USE A CONDOM?
-If your on a roadtrip with him act scared and say "are you thirsty now?" every 10 seconds
-Say that you gotta go potty every 10 minutes and when he says he wont pull over, tell him that he hasnt been human for 108 years that that he's seemed to forgotten how often humans need to go.
-when he finally pulls over tell you you dont need to go anymore, then when he pulls up again tell him that you actually still did.
-OR when he pulls over say "...shit too late"
-set his aston martin on fire
and the big way to annoy him?
-Tell him that Bella fell off a bridge and to her death, and when he is about to kill himself, laugh and yell "JUST JOKING!"
Emmett
-give him the nickname "teddy bear"
-Tell him that rosalie hated him because he was to big
-tell him that Rosalie was ugly on the inside (which she is)
-shave off his hair
-Feed him those bars that made you fat
-touch him and when he asks what you are doing claim your seeing if he is furry or not
-Go around killing grizzlies so he has nothing good to eat
-accuse him of being on steroids
-Tell him Jasper is a WAY better fighter than he is
and lastly?
-Tell everyone about all those houses be broke with Rosalie
Jasper
-Keep changing how you feel in this order "happy sad angry angst vengeful joyful ecstasy...ful happy sad happy angy happy sad sad depressed suicidal happy sad happy sad sad angry
-Feel lust whenever you see him
-Whenever he is around and someone is annoying you, threaten to give them a papercut
-Tell him that Alice has met some lovely elves and has gone to live with them where she can ride unicorns and dress people up all day
-Offer to get him some serious physiological help
-whenever he gives you a request stamp your foot and say "YES SIR!" then march off
-if another war should break out keep staring at him and when he says "what?" say "ARNT YOU GONNA DEFEND OUT COUNTRY YOU BASTARD?"
-Laugh at the accent he doesnt have
-Invite annoying swooning sluts over for a sleepover
-Make sure he hasnt hunted for a while THEN invite him for a slutty sleepover
-Tell Alice that Jasper hates all the clothes he forces her to wear
-refer to his [awesome] hair as an afro
-whenever he goes near you hold out your hand and say "swiper no swiping!"
but the final way to annoy Jasper?
Treat him like an idiot and repeatedly say "Texas is stupid"