A Hellsing Christmas Carol
Disclaimer: Being neither Kouta Hirano, Charles Dickens or God I do not claim that I created Hellsing, A Christmas Carol or Christmas.
Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing checked every round in her clip again. The third one was about to arrive. Behind her overturned table she crouched and faced the door. The first one had been easy. The stupid bitch must have not been expecting it. Sure I'll just follow some stranger addressing herself as the Ghost of Christmas Past through a portal. That's not likely to be a trap set by the Iscariot at all.
Real thanks go to her father, who had the courtesy to tip her off an hour beforehand that three ghouls would be coming. At least Integra thought he said ghouls, might've been something else. She never did pay much attention when somebody tried to talk to her about morals or "her wicked ways" or any Tiny-Tim who's father may or may not have been used as a human shield against Father Anderson. But she swore he said ghouls. Only when the first one turned up did she realise what he meant.
She played along with the whole situation until the girl had her back turned then it was a whole clip of ammo in the back. The second one, Ghost of Christmas Present had freaked out when he saw Christmas Past lying dead on the floor. The fat bastard charged at her and took two clips of ammo in the head before he fell down.
In the last hour, waiting for what she now knew would be the Ghost of Christmas Future, Integra had managed to find an online summary of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens and plan her next move. This guy was going to be tough. He was shrouded in a cloak and hunched over, so he wouldn't be an easy target, plus he had a big scythe so he could fight back.
Where was Alucard when you needed him? He said he was taking the police girl out for drinks. She had misunderstood, she thought he meant drinks at a bar…. like humans…. which they weren't…. There was going to be a mess of paper work tomorrow with official complaints and whatnot but who cared, there were more pressing matters now.
Five minutes before he was due, the Ghost of Christmas Future burst through Integra's door. "Die you bastard!!!" She yelled emptying a clip in between his glowing red eyes.
"So you don't like the new look?" Said a sulky, slightly tipsy Alucard, slipping our of the cloak and dropping the scythe on his sub-ordinate.
The police girl was clutching to his leg and looked like the whack to the head had worsened a rising hangover. "Master, I don't think we're in the bar anymore"
"Oh thank god" Integra thought aloud "You just went and got smashed like normal people."
"Yep" Replied Alucard "Except normal people wouldn't have thought to charge it to their bosses credit card."
A blank look from Integra
"So that we can be reminded in a month of the momentous occasion of the police-girls first drink"
Another blank look
"It sounded much better at the bar"
"I'm sure it did" Integra would go onto to have a heart attack when she read the bill a month later.
"Say what are you doing in here? Redocorating? Cause I love the new red carpet!" Said Alucard, observing the double-dead ghosts and the battleground of an office.
"I was just having a bit of a situation here when you…"
"Excuse me" said the family butler, dressed in a knighting gown, with a nightcap and for some reason his monocle. "This man says he's your three a.m."
All eyes in the room turned to the Ghost of Christmas Future standing quietly and ominously in the corridor.