Disclaimer: I don't own Tale of Two Cities

"Hello ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Flippy Gibbit show. I'm your host Flippy Gibbit. Today I am interviewing the characters from a beloved book movie and Broadway show called TALE OF TWO CITIES. Lets bring out the first interviewee. You will know him as Sydney Carton."

((Sydney comes out and takes a seat))

"Hello Flippy. It's good to see you."

"Sydney. It's good to see you too. So let me start off with the biggest question. What were you thinking when you took Charles' place at the guillotine?"

"Well my first thought was that I'm loosing my head"

((Audience laughs))

"Some would say you did lose your head when you did that."

"Only after the guillotine took it off"

((Audience laughs again))

"I made a promise to the woman I love. I was not going to break that promise. Really my only thought was prayer that they could make it through the following rough times and longing to be there for them."

"How did you know there would be more tough times ahead?"

"Because I knew. It would be a long journey back to England."

"I understand you were always there for them; even when times were tough?"

"Of course. I mean they would hardly need someone to be there for them when times were good. I always shared in their joy though."

"Wasn't there a time where they couldn't afford it?"

"What do I care about afford. I don't charge my family!"

"It cost you didn't it?"

"Read my lips. I don't care. I would do anything for my family."

"So is there anything to the rumor that you are actually the father of Little Lucie?"

"It's not a rumor. It's true. I was drunk one night. I was walking somewhere, slipped and fell on my head. Charles was out of town and I honestly believed I was Charles."

"Did you ever tell Charles?"

"The day after it happened I told him. He obviously wasn't thrilled about it but he said that we're like brothers and that he appreciated my coming to him right away. I asked him not to tell Lucie about it and he promised not to. She didn't find out until 5 years later"

"Was there ever any trouble in your friendship?"

"Once. Little Lucie must have been 4 years old and she was playing in my mind too close to the water. Keep in mind I was drunk and not thinking clearly. I grabbed her scooped her up struck her several times and screamed at her never to go near the water ever again. She wasn't too near to the water but in my mind she was and I was scared she'd drwon."

"How bad did you strike her?"

"It was bad. It left marks. But I don't care if it was gentle or almost nothing. I had no right to do that. There is never a need to act hurtful unlike many people's opinions"

"I take it Charles and Lucie were not thrilled about it?"

"That's an understatement. He slapped me and she refused to talk to me for a month. I wasn't welcomed into their home until I got myself sober."

"I thought they were positive people."

"They are. They were absolutely right in what they did."

"Was the time you fathered Little Lucie the only time you... um... uh... how do I put this-"

"It was the only time I did the nasty yes."

"How did you realize you had sex?"

"Um... I woke up hours later in a bed that was not my own in and I realized something was wrong when I found myself naked and the woman I love asleep next to me. Wait- did I say something was wrong? Maybe I should have said something was right"

((Audience laughs))

"I would imagine Charles' reaction was not what you expected."

"You can say that again"

"Tell me Sydney do you have any regrets about going to the guillotine?"

"No. Well maybe just that I never got a chance to wear my new hat"

(Audience laughs)

"Did you feel the guillotine come down on you?"

"No. 4 seconds after I was strapped I had a heart attack and died before the blade was even released."

"You were strapped?"

"Strapped to the guillotine... not belted"

"Oh. I understand that you never hesitated to tell your friend when he was being an ass. Was he often an ass?"

"No there were 3 times. The first time I told him he was being an ass. The second time I completely ignored him and the third time pretty ignored him after just a moment."

"Why did you wait the moment?"

"He was somewhat right in that particular case"

"Okay it's time for a commercial break and next we will meet Charles the lucky man that got the girl and got the life."