Cereal, Love Interest, and Street Thugs
Hey there it's Twinkle! Told ya I'd be back soon. XD Anyways let's get this started! Oh, remember to inform me if this is actually funny and not just lame attempts at humor. ^^'
Pairings: Ritsu x Takano, Reita x Mino, Brotherly Reita x Ritsu, Slight Reita x An.
Rating: T
Summary: Ristu and Reita discuss cereal with their friends(and Saga).
Caution: Excessive language lies ahead and lines that may or may not cause severe stomach and throat pain.
Page Break(In Ritsu and Reita's room)~
A group of teenagers sat in a room chatting among themselves. One had decided to bring up a different topic,"Hey, how do you eat cereal?"
This caught everyones attention. "What do you mean how, Rei-chan?", Shouta spoke up
"I mean do you put in the cereal then the milk or milk then the cereal?"
"And why exactly are you asking this?", Masamune asked as he raised an eyebrow
The twin in question pouted at the raven,"Because I'm curious! I mean this topic hasn't been discussed in a while. There could be so many different methods!"
"I think everyone eats it the same way, Reita."
"Not true.", Shouta cut in,"I put the milk in first."
Reita's jaw dropped to the ground,"No way! I put the cereal in first. How do you even it eat like that?!"
"It's simple. I just do."
Reita shook his head,"See what I mean! I really don't get how some people can even think to prepare it like that let alone eat it!"
Kanade, the ever smiling brunette decided to pitch in,"I have to agree with Rei-chan here. If you put the milk in first the cereal won't be moist enough."
"You some how made that sound wrong.", Masamune quipped flatly
Everyone ignored him and continued to argue about the new topic. Reita smiled at his friend's agreement,"Thank you, Mino!"
Shouta shook his head,"Yeah but putting the milk in after will make it all soggy and it doesn't taste as good or isn't as crunchy."
Masamune smirked. Ritsu kicked him in the head.
"You know I've only heard that excuse from every person I've asked."
"Oh, so you've bothered other people with this?"
"What do you mean bothered? Anyways pouring if after is a better method."
"No it's before!"
"After!"
"Before!"
"After!"
"Before!"
"I think it's just a matter of personal preference.", Hatori jumped into the argument
"Oh, here he is.", Reita spoke mockingly,"There's always that one person to say that. You just had to be that person, Tori."
"Leave Tori alone he didn't do anything.", Shouta said trying to ease his friend's ranting
"I can call him out if I want to! And anyway there is no point in trying to argue Rittie eats the same way I do."
"Nii-san, please leave me out of this."
"Rei-chan, do you ever change your method?", Kanade asked with a wide smile
"Why are we even discussing this?", Hatori groaned rubbing his temple
Reita stopped and thought about the other boy's question,"Hmm...No, actually. You know what I'll try it out next time for kicks!" He exclaimed happily
Then what the hell was the point of this whole argument?! Everyone thought
"Rittie, try it with me!"
"No."
Page Break(Ritsu and Reita's apartment)~
Ritsu groaned at the next text that buzzed his phone. Takano had been calling and texting him all day to get him "admit his love". And quite honestly the brunette was ready to murder him at any given moment.
"Again, Rittie? Just say the word and I'll end this with a butcher knife!", Well that is if his twin didn't first. Which is a very low probability.
As much as Ritsu wanted to give in to the temptation he decided against it,"No, Nii-san. It's fine."
"You sure? You know I'd slice anyone for you, right?~", Reita cooed sweetly
Ritsu nodded,"Yeah, I'm su-" He was cut off by another buzz.
"Go get him."
With that confirmed Reita sprinted to the kitchen and out the door, Ritsu following behind.
"Come here Takano!", Reita stomped inside after breaking the lock
"Reita, wait! What are going to do with that?! Reita!"
Ritsu ran into the apartment as he heard crashing.
The younger Onodera found the two wrestling on the couch, one on top trying to reach the other's neck and one on the bottom trying hard to keep his precious head. Takano lost however and was now trying to move enough to prevent the elder twin from cutting through his already torn up shirt.
"Stop resisting!"
"No! Onodera get this thing off me!"
"Nii-san, stop."
The elder obeyed but didn't let go.
"Stop texting me already! It's late!"
"Not until you admit it!"
"Okay. Reita..."
Reita raised his knife.
"No wait!"
Ritsu grabbed his brother's wrist,"Are going to leave me alone?"
The raven rolled his eyes,"Fine."
Reita released his boss and stood. Takano looked at his ex-lover in disbelief,"You were actually going to let him axe murder me?!"
"It's a butcher knife.", Ritsu stated
"Thank you.", Reita responded
"And no. I just wanted to get you to shut up."
"You were?", Reita pouted
"Well thank you letting this beast attack me!"
Reita grabbed Takano's arm behind his back. "Oh, here we go." Takano moaned as he was shoved back on the couch and got violently spanked
"Ow! Ow! OW!"
"Okay that's enough.", Ritsu grabbed his twin and exited the apartment
Page Break(The Next Morning)~
Ritsu walked into the living room to see his older brother smiling and on his phone. "Who are texting, Nii-san?'
Reita eyes sparkled,"Mino and An-chan. They've been bothering me all morning."
You don't exactly sound annoyed.
Page Break~
Two identical teens laughed and held each other close, sharing the umbrella that protected them from the rain. They had just finished school a couple minutes ago and were headed home to play video games and warm up in their covers.
Though they were stopped by two men that didn't seem all that friendly. The brothers knew exactly where this was going and wasted no time to respond,"Walk away. Just walk away."
The two thugs laughed. "They never get it until it's too late.", They both sighed
"We don't get it? Listen to these two, man.", the said thug to his friend
"Listen to this cliche as hell mugger, Rittie.", One of the twins said to his brother
"Listen if you two ugly brats just play along we won't hurt ya.", The other spoke
The elder twin raised an eyebrow,"You're calling us ugly? Do you own a fucking mirror?"
"Nii-san, that's rude.", the younger scolded his twin
"They're muggers. You want me to offer them tea and then show them where our safe is?"
The other looked down,"I'm sorry."
He wrapped an arm around the younger's shoulder and whispered,"No I'm sorry, you're still learning."
Thug number two's eye twitched,"Listen you two retards either you get your parents money or we crack open your skulls!"
Reita ignored the threat and turned to his brother,"They're calling us retards meanwhile we're the ones with honor rolls and they've spent their lives surviving on weed, heroine, and magazines."
"Why you little!"
"You seem cranky. Is that lotion not working for you?"
They had had enough. The two thugs launched.
CRASH. BOOM. BANG.
The twins continued their previous conversation as they continued the journey home. "So how do germans eat cereal?"
Ritsu sighed.
Okay. So wadda think? Funny or horrible? Honestly I thought it was horrible but I like hear your input. Let me know in the reviews! Ja!~