It feels incredible to wake up and feel a special warmth next to you. It feels even better when you know who that warmth is coming from. I slowly opened my eyes and looked down to my chest to see Brittany's golden hair shining with the faint ray of light that was filtering through my window drapes. It must have still been early judging by the amount of light in my room, but I felt an urge for a drink of water, but I debated on it because I didn't want to wake her up. She just looked so cozy all wrapped up between me and the blankets. For a few moment I just looked at her. I had done it million of times before, but there was something about today that made my heart beat twice as fast.
Maybe it had to do with the fact that we were engaged. I sighed happily and closed my eyes as I relived yesterday when she said yes to me. I didn't expect a no from her, to be honest, because if I was certain of one thing in my short life it was that she and I would get married. The when part had been a surprise even for me, but when you know you know. It didn't matter if we were 21, we loved each other and nothing else mattered. I could still picture her beautiful surprised face when I got down on one knee, it had been so perfect. And she said yes! The things I felt for this girl were indescribable and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what I had done so right to get a girl like Britt.
Perfect was the understatement of the century. Not only was she incredibly beautiful, sexy in ways that made me want to rip her clothes off whenever she made something remotely sensual, but she was also smart, like genius smart, and she had this amazing view of the world where everything was full of color and happiness. That view probably made her be so kind and loving and quirky in ways that made you laugh. She was honest and loyal and good, there seriously wasn't a mean or bad bone in her body. She just felt everything three times as much as everybody else, and even though that got her hurt several times, it also made her love just as hard. Brittany didn't hold resentment or judgement, not even with me, when I hid her for months because I was too much of a coward to come out of the closet. She loved me in ways I'll never be able to understand. Why would a girl like me, get a girl like her? That was a question I might never get the answer to but I was sure as hell that I would do everything in my power to make her feel twice as incredible as she made me feel everyday for the rest of our lives.
I finally had the willingness to get out of bed and go get a drink of water, making sure that she didn't wake up as she curled into my pillow and spot on my bed. I went down the stairs of my childhood home and realized how good it felt coming back to help Rachel with the new Glee Club. It felt strange as it always did to be back, but at the same time oddly comforting. Lima would always be our place, it was where we fell in love, and hopefully, where we get married.
As I walked into the kitchen I saw my mom already working on breakfast, no matter how early it was, my mom would always be up before me.
"Morning" I greeted as I went to the cabinet to get a glass.
"Buenos días" she replied. I was just swallowing my water when my mom abruptly said. "So when were you and Brittany going to tell us that you're engaged."
I choked and spat water everywhere. As I coughed the surprise away my mother just tossed me a towel to clean it up. "I'm sorry?" I asked as I tried to figure out what was happening first.
"Did you really think that I would not of notice Brittany's ring even if it was turned backwards." My mom replied.
"Umm…I..." I stuttered.
"Were you really not going to tell me?"
It wasn't that we weren't gonna tell her or that it was a secret, especially after proposing in front of the entire Glee Club. We just wanted one night for ourselves, without the implications and the reality that telling our parents would have.
"I was, we were" I said wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "I guess we just got lost with the excitement yesterday and when we came home I thought you and Dad were already asleep."
"We were but you guys were making a lot of noise, as always" my mom said and how she enunciated the last part made my cheeks feel hot.
"Yeah, sorry about that" I cleared my throat. "Well, I guess there's no better time then to tell you now" I chuckled. "So yeah, we're engaged."
My mom looked at me for a long while and I just couldn't help but think that her look was disapproving. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked.
"I just can't understand why" she replied.
I turned my head in surprise. "You're seriously not gonna tell me that I shouldn't marry her, right?"
"I'm not telling you that. And even if I were, which I am not, you would still get married anyway." I changed the weight of my left foot to my right. "Ever since you came home the first day of second grade and told us about this "Brittany girl", I knew you would spend the rest of your life with her." She said.
"Then what is this about mom?"
"Why now, Santana you're 21, you will just be able to drink legally at your own wedding."
"Because I love her, mom." I replied like it was the only answer in the world.
"I know you do sweetie, I just don't think that you are getting how serious a marriage is. It's more than a wedding, it is a life together, a commitment, vows." She said as she turned the stove off. I couldn't help but grin like an idiot because that was exactly why I wanted to marry Brittany.
My mom turned to look at me and I realized that there was no way that she was going to understand it. "Ever since I came to my senses with the help from Britt, from trying to take Rachel's job away on Broadway, I realized that I didn't have a plan." My mom eased up from her stubborn position and leaned against the counter. "It took me a couple of months to actually know what I wanted to do and now I can see it very clearly." I took a brief moment as I scratched the upper part of my lips.
"If I see my life in one year, I see myself sitting at a college classroom learning something that I like. If I see my life in five years I see myself finally getting my career started, singing on a stage and feeling like I was born to do it. In ten years I see fame and glamour as I have finally made a name for myself, and hopefully starting a family too. In twenty I can lay back a little and still work not because I need to anymore, but I because I love what I do. And in fifty years I see myself at a beach, watching the sunset and thinking that I have had a great life, one in which I really lived. One that made me happy, one where all of my dreams came true." I regained my thoughts before continuing as my mother remained silent.
"All of those years are different from each other, and whether I am sitting in a classroom or singing on a stage or watching the sun set, the only thing that remains constant, is that I can look next to me or in front of me and there is Brittany. Smiling at me, encouraging me to follow my dreams, making me the happiest girl alive." I smiled at my mom.
"Brittany isn't part of the equation, mom. She is the whole answer. And even if nothing goes accordingly to the plan and I don't become who I thought I would be, I will still know that my dreams came true, because I would have spent the rest of my life with her."
"That sounds like a good plan Santana, but you just said it. You still have the rest of your life ahead of you. You have a lot of time" my mom said still not 100% convinced.
Honestly, I had been thinking about that. I was sure that I wouldn't break up with Brittany ever again, and I had all the time in the world to live my life with her, and maybe it was part of wanting to live life to the fullest before something happened, but mostly it was just realizing that time was not something I could control. But I could control this.
"But what does time mean if I can't spend it with her." I said simply. My mom's eyes changed and I started to believe that I was making her see what I meant. "I've known that I'm in love with her since the moment I met her, but I spent a lot of time hiding her. Hiding who I was, who we were. And now that I look back, if I could do it all over again, I wouldn't doubt for one second how special she is. For the trouble that I caused her, for all the trouble that I caused myself, I owe it to us to make her the happiest girl in the world for the rest of our lives. I want to protect her, to make her laugh, to make her feel like she deserves, mom. To make her live."
I sighed audibly. "I guess I could do all that while being her girlfriend, but I'd much rather do it being her wife."
My mom tilted her head to the left and extended her arms and I felling into them still a little doubtful. "Oh Santana, I'm so proud of you."
I squeezed her back as my eyes watered.
She pulled back from me but held my face in her hands. "You've become the woman I always wanted you to be."
The first tear fell from my eyes as I said, "I love you mom."
"I love you too mija."
"Hey, what's going on?" I heard Britt say and we both turned our attention to her.
"Oh hey! Good morning!" I said as I left my mom and walked over to her. I kissed her because she should wake everyday for the rest of her life by being kissed.
"Morning" she smiled at me as our lips separated. "Are you ok?" She asked softly as she wiped some tears of my face.
"I am" I smiled at her.
"Brittany" my mother said. We both turned to look at her. "I just wanna officially congratulate you and Santana on your engagement, and tell you that I wish you a lifelong of happiness and love."
Brittany turned to look at me surprised and she must have had the same face I had just a few moments ago. "Umm… you know. Thank you Ms. Lopez, you are very kind." Britt replied with a smile.
"You'd think that now you're marrying my daughter, you'd finally call me by my first name."
Britt and I laughed, "You're right, Maribel." She wrapped her arm around my waist, "I promise that I will make San, very happy." I grinned and hugged her tightly as my head rested just below hers.
"I look at you guys and I still see those two eight year olds who used to play on the porch." My mom said and we both smiled. "You know, before all you ever did was have sex."
"Oh my god mom!" I said unbelieving of the fact that my mother had just talked to my fiancé and I about sex. Brittany just laughed embarrassed. "I gave Santana "the talk" but now that Brittany is going to be officially another daughter of mine, maybe I should have it with you too."
"Ew no!" I said as I closed my eyes to try and shield myself from this moment.
"That wont be necessary Maribel, I know I won't get your daughter pregnant." Brittany said in a very serious voice and I all but cracked up.
My mother laughed too and told us, "Go on, leave, go get some more sleep before I actually get out the pamphlets."
"No! Not the pamphlets!" I said laughing as me and Brittany ran towards the stairs and up to my room.
"Well now that she said she'd get out the pamphlets, why don't we practice" she wiggled her eyebrows at me just as we got to my room.
I kissed her sloppily because I couldn't stop laughing. Seriously, spending the rest of my life with her was something I couldn't wait to do.