Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters, merchandise, TV rights, ect… (I think you get the point.)

Summery

ONE SHOT – I can't help but wonder, if I had only told you how I felt from the start, would it be me you were going spend the rest of your life with? Me, rather than him? (Sasuke/Ino/Gaara)

Like all of my work this is just something that happened to float through the empty void inside my head. Like it or hate it please R and R as honest opinions are always welcomed, as are random acts of worship.

Lamb: I can't really believe it but this is my 150th fic!! So I thought I'd treat myself by writing my favourite triangle!!

Muse: 150!? I can't believe that I survived the hell that is living inside your head for so long.

Dedi: And I can't believe we've put up with you for so long. Anyway this fic is dedicated to Drunksonic, cus her fics, not to mention her reviews, are amazing. So Drunksonic, this is for you.

Lamb: As always sorry for any bad spelling and if you feel the need to throw things at me please wait until I've hidden behind the sofa kay!?

Muse: On with the fic!

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you,
I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you,
No I don't want to fall in love,
This world is only gonna break your heart,

Hot Chocolate and Heartache

"So you really are going to marry him... Gaara?" Sasuke did his best not to scowl as if the name of the redhead left a sour taste in his mouth. Tried and failed, but the girl siting across from him pretended not to notice and said nothing about the way is mouth twisted as if he had just bitten into a sour fruit.

"Yeah...I am." Ino said, pushing a stray golden hair behind her right ear and reveling in the warmth of the sun on her skin. Her forearms were resting on top of the small wrought iron table and her hands she cradled a steaming cup of hot chocolate.

"Do you love him?" The question was out before he could stop it, even though part of him didn't want to know the answer. But that was just the way things were, his mouth had always had a tendency to run away with its self around the blonde.

'Kami, I want to fuck you.'

'I'm in love with you.'

'You look great in a wet T-shirt.'

They were all things he probably should have thought through before simply blurting them out. They had resulted receptively in a slap, a reciprocation and a night that, even should he want to, he would not be able forget till his dying day. But none of them held the potential to hurt him as much as this latest question which had so carelessly slipped passed his lips. True his face had stung like a wild fire when she struck him. She could have broken him to pieces if she had not loved him in return. And after that night he'd been stiff and achy for days, but it had been worth it.

But the pain of those past times was nothing compared with the anguish that lanced through his heart when he looked at her face.

"D'you think I'd be marrying him if I didn't?" Sasuke raised one eyebrow, indicating that he had his doubts.

Any other time, any other person and Ino would have snorted with derision, but on this day with him she could not find it in her heart to do so. She didn't know if he really doubted her feelings for the red haired Kazekage or if he was just after a hint that she still cared for him. Ino didn't know, and wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to know which only unsettled her more. "Yes, I'm in love with him."

"Funny, you say that and yet you don't seem all that happy." It was funny, but even after all the time that had past and all the things that had happened, he still had trouble accepting that Ino was no longer his.

"You were right you know." A slight smile pulled at the blonde's mouth. A soft wistful smile filled with sadness and regret, her eyes were fixed on the cup that was cradled in her hands and she was unable to raise her head to met his gaze.

"Aren't I always?" Somehow he knew that where this conversation was headed and the thing that were to come were going to be oh so painful to hear. So automatically out came the smart-ass comebacks, the cocky mask that he could safely hide behind. "But what was I right about this time?"

"About me. I'm not over you." Again there was that sad smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I don't think I will be."

"Oh?" Unreadable obsidian eyes watched as the athletic blonde sipped from her steaming cup. It was hot chocolate of course, he didn't need the rich sweet scent or the small blob of whipped cream that was on the tip of her nose when she lowered the cup to tell him that. She was Ino, so wherever she went, no matter who she went with she would always have hot chocolate.

"You were the one Sasuke, you always will be. But I can't be with you." Those were probably the most painful six words that he had ever heard in his life.

It was true their relationship had been over for some eighteen months but somewhere deep down he'd always held a hope that one day they might make it back together. Even when Ino started seeing the Kazekage some small part of Sasuke had still believed that in the end she would come back to him. But the heart sheds hope like a tree dropping it's leaves in winter and in less than a week his gorgeous golden flower was to be married to someone who was not him.

And not only that, then she would be moving away. Starting a new life in Sunagakure and then not only would he have lost any chance of getting her back but that last tenuous connection between the two of them would be severed. For though, though out his life Ino had been many things to him, mission partner, fangirl, antagonist and lover, first and for most she had been his friend. Whenever he had had a real problem it had always been to her that Sasuke would go, but in less than seven days it would no longer be something he was able to do.

"So I'm the guy, but you want the guy who can by definition never be the guy?" His twisted way of describing the situation was worth it just to hear her low throaty chuckle.

"One of the best things about you is that you always think you're right, and one of the worst things is that a lot of the time you are." Ino signed deeply, she would never be able to put into to words how she really felt about Sasuke, that she still loved him even if she was no longer in love with him. At least she didn't think she was, it was all too confusing.

"You know I still love you Ino, I never stopped. Being friends was never going to be enough for either of us, but I was willing to try cus it was what you said you wanted." He didn't add that seeing her everyday and knowing that they were no longer two halves of the same whole was probably the hardest thing he had ever had to face.

"I know." More than anything in the world Ino wanted to reach out and push the ebony strands from his eyes, but she couldn't. Now such an action would be inappropriate and out of place, but as she had always done she longed for contact with him. Contact with him, be it physical, mental or emotional had always been the craving she had never been able to satisfy. Sasuke Uchiha; the addiction that held sway over her life.

"You're smart and funny, sweet and caring, plus you're sexy as hell." The blonde suddenly blurted out causing her companion to stare at her in shocked surprise. "You're everything I ever wanted Sasuke, but with you I… I… I was always lonely when I was with you."

"You were? But why didn't I know?" He can remember the long intimate nights together, when he couldn't breath except for the scent of her skin. She was the woman he loved, but didn't own. The one he could never hold on to.

"You never needed me Sasuke, and with Gaara there's room for me. I know that he needs me, not just wants me, but needs me in his life, just like I need him." And it was true; a part of Ino desperately needed the redhead with the penetrating sea foam eyes. She was deeply, irrevocably in love with him and he with her.

"You think I didn't, I don't, need you?" She could hear the shock that laced his quiet tone and had to fight back tears. In that moment he looked so lost and alone, just like the small boy she had once known and more than anything she wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him that everything was going to be all right, even though they both know it never would be.

Silent love in a loud body, Ino thought that the line was written for Sasuke, the moment he would walk into a room everyone was aware of his presence. It was like magic there was just something magnetic about him. But he expected people to be able to tell what he was feeling without him putting it into words. Silent love in a loud body. It was a test she failed because she hadn't even known that she was taking it.

"Maybe you did and I just didn't know." Raising her cup to her lips she drains the last of her drink. Hot chocolate tasting bitter sweet, just as everything she associated with Sasuke Uchiha always did. "I always felt as if I was encroaching on your space. It was almost like the closer I tried to get to you, the more you pulled away."

Her left hand was lying on top on the table and without really knowing why, Sasuke reached out and curled his fingers tightly around Ino's. The back of her hand felt so smooth against the rough callousness of his palm, but the skin of her hands had always been so soft. She would spend hours maintaining her hands, rough skinned hands was a dead give away for a ninja and Ino said it was the last thing you wanted if you were on a seduction mission. Personally Sasuke would have been oh so very happy if Ino had never been sent on another seduction mission, but the feel of her soft hands on his skin…

"Why didn't we say all this before?" It was almost a full five minuets before he finally broke the silence that had settled around them and in response Ino just shook her head, indicating that she was just as clueless as he was. "Guess we really fucked up...again."

Again. The significance of his meaning was not lost to either of them. They had had some happy times during their three year relationship, some amazing and wonderful time. But there had also been sometimes that both would prefer to forget. When the sounds of screams of rage had echoed through the street, when both would try and drink them selves into oblivion. And then there had been that one dreadful morning when, unable to even find the courage to look at one another, they had to face Sakura's look of mingled disgusted resignation and pity as she held Ino's cracked ribs and Sasuke's broken nose.

They were like magnets that repelled even as they attracted. Fighting only to then make up, before fighting once more. A connection so intense that it burned anyone that came in contact with it.

"Will you come to the wedding?" There was a hopeful, pleading edge to her voice, but also an undercurrent of fear and her fingers gripped his slightly harder. He knew what it was that she wanted, his understanding, his acceptance but he didn't know if he had the strength to give her those things.

"I don't know. I'm not sure I can handle seeing you marry someone else." Sasuke offered her an apologetic smile, hoping that the woman he had once thought he'd spend the rest of his life with wasn't going to push the issue.

"It's all right, I understand." A small sad smile pulled at her lips, her hand slipping from his as she leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "I'm so sorry Sasuke."

"Yeah Ino, me too. Me too." He sighed as he watched her departing figure grow smaller and smaller, and felt in some inexplicable way that she was not just walking away from him, but that in that moment she was also walking out of his life.

Lamb: I'm not really sure where the idea for this came from. But a) I like making Sasuke suffer, and b) by nature I'm an angst writer, so c) this is what you all end up with.

Muse: 150 fics and they're steadily getting worse.

Dedi: And he's steadily getting nastier. But Drunksonic, we hope you liked it.

Please R and R I'd love to know what you thought.

Big luv see ya

Lamanth