We die, then live, then die, then live again, then the peanut butter monster comes for us.
You've all heard stories of Santa. Rudolf, elves, Mrs. Claus, dairy products! Well, yes, these stories are mandatory. If you don't know them, you'll be catapulted to the edge of the universe, where rainbow, slime monkeys will make you sit in a very large, and very uncomfortable, wicker chair. But there is one story, that few know about, that terrorizes Christmas, and mocks it to no end. Poor elves. You remember the time when 30 million people disappeared from the face of the earth. Well they didn't know this story and now there all crowded in a large wicker chair, being laughed upon by rainbow slime monkeys. It is the story of…break time!
Okay, that's thirty minutes for lunch! Out of my face worms!
Hooray! Pickled clustered!
There's something wrong with you, man. Something's wrong with yer head.
Lets break it!
Yes!
(Do to the graphic nature of this next scene where two guys gang up on the narrator and bash his head open, please watch this scene of two guys bashing some other narrators head open.)
But this is a story.
(Your point?)
As in it's written. It's not a movie.
(Uhhhh…)
So basically, everything you just explained put nasty pictures in peoples head, which is not blocking the horrible things at all. You should say, pretty flowers puppies, ponies, cause that puts that image in the persons head when their reading and- Gets shot.
(Crap that guy was annoying!)
Now, where was I? Oh, yes, it is the story of…used lunch meat! Yes, used lunch meat. the story when Santa got high on nog, the reindeer all craped on the mrses, and the elves made the toys, for the girls and the boys, turned evil! Yes it is a sad story, mocking the spirit of Christmas and all it stands for…
Who cares?! It's funny so enjoy the show!
(Technically it's a story so-)
Shut up fag!
Used Lunch Meat
Santa: Hiccup Yeah man! We are gonna party, and warty and wooo!
(We're not going to bother calling Mrs. Claus Mrs.Claus, we're gonna call her Bill.)
Bill: Nooooo! The reindeer! The crap!
Reindeer: In unison Bwahahahahahahaha!
Elevs: In unison Live my children! Live!
All the toys come to life as evil pickles
Bill: The pure, unadultirated, PG-13 horror!
Elves: In unison Fat slave, deliver our doom upon the world!
Fat slave(who is Santa.): ……………..Okay!
(Oh…that must have been how 30 million people disappeared. Cause the elves evil toys killed them all while delivering their doom upon the world.)
Now stay with me folks, this is where things get weird. Now the real story begins.
Yugi: Fear not Bill! We shall save Christmas!
Ed: What do you mean we?
Zolo: Don't even try Ed.
Yugi: Yes, it is us! Ed, Zolo, Kakashi, who we will call Emily, and Me! And of coarse me, Yugi save Christmas pants!
Kakashi: Why are you going to call me Emily?
Yugi: There's no time sexy mama! We have to save Christmas!
Zolo: I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
Yugi: Come my sex slaves!
Ed: …………We're gonna go live at the neighbors for awhile.
Zolo: Agreed.
Kakashi: Lets go.
They run away.
Yugi: Turns around Where'd everybody go?
Me: You scared them off you stupid b.
Yugi: Then it's up to you and me!
Me: Is already gone.
Yugi: ………….Ah who likes Christmas anyway? Fallows the others.
Bill: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The crap!
Reindeer: In unison. Bwahahahahahaha!
The End!
Go home you fags! I have no more time to waste on you!
You all cry.
…………….CRY NOW BES!
Sorry you had to hear that….
END