Disclaimer: I own nothing, especially not Harry Potter. Punks.
James slowly walked down the corridor, trying to think of a way to explain his horrible predicament to his best friend, whom, he would also like to lay. James never realized that one day Lily would actually say yes to one of his advancements. James suddenly felt a whisper of air fly past him, and spun around, wand already in his hand. The caster was Severus Snape! 'Hoe-icus Totalus' muttered James, not even bothering with a shield charm. With a small pop, Snape was transformed into a leather-clad five dollar whore.
Suddenly, Lily sauntered around the corner and saw the display at hand. "That's it Mr. Potter," Lily screamed in fury. "We are throu-"
Lily was cut off as Snape ran past her, not wanting her to see the tears in his eyes. "Severus, wait for me," yelled Lily, as she took off running.
"Omg, I can't believe this! She broke up with me," James yelled. Everyone believed he was upset, but inside he was bursting with joy.
"James are you ok," asked Sirius.
"Yup, let's go have sex," replied James.
--
Lily chased after Snape until he abruptly came to a halt. She muttered a quick counter-curse for the charm James had cast on Severus. "Are you ok," she asked.
"I hate you mud blood," replied Snape.
"Omg, let's go have sex," said Lily as a sudden realization dawned on her.
"Fine skank," replied Snape.
They turned and skipped off to Snape's quarters where they happily made babies.