Disclaimer: I really, really wish I owned Sirius Black. Sadly though, I do not. Or anything else related to Harry Potter as it happens.

A day in the life of Sirius Black

"Siilent Niiight! Hoooly niiight! Aaall is caalm! Aaall is briiight…"

"I will kill him," muttered a voice from behind a dark red curtain.

"Erm..." a moments silence, "...Sleeep in heavenly peeaace!"

"Not if I get there first," growled another voice from the opposite wall. The fresh light of morning was creeping into the room through the maroon curtains, lighting piles of messy clothes and highlighting the dust dancing in the air.

"Sleeeeeep in heavenly peeeeeaaaace!"

"Tarantallegta!"

A shot of light flew between the third, previously silent, pair of curtains and the singing came to a halt with a faint choking noise, like the person responsible had been grabbed round the throat. There was a brief moment of silence, broken only by the sound of fast footsteps on the wooden floor, striking it with a dull thud in a mad and unpredictable rhythm. Then there was a bark of laughter, a whoop and the singer started up again, humming its way through the familiar tune of the can-can.

"Merlin Wormtail!" groaned the first voice, "You had to pick the noisiest hex on the planet!"

"Sorry."

"Ugh!" One pair of curtains ripped open with a harsh rasp, and a boy knelt on his red covers, glowering angrily. His black hair stuck up vertically from his scalp and his hazel eyes were bleary from sleep. He slipped onto the floor, stomped across the room, and gave the dancing Sirius Black a hard shove in his stomach.

Sirius gave a wobbly yell and fell onto his bed with a crash. He lay there, groaning quietly as his legs continued their mad dance, thrashing uselessly in the air just over the end of the bed. Meanwhile, James Potter stormed back to his bed, clambered on, and pulled the curtains shut around him.

Sirius lay there thoughtfully for a moment, staring at the dusty hangings of his four poster bed while his feet thrashed merrily. Apparently, his friends simply didn't appreciate that he was a morning person. A morning person with a lovely singing voice. Sirius sighed. Well, it was their loss. He glanced around, hoping to see something to haul himself up on, but was met only with the sight of his own bedding, still covered in crumbs from the pumpkin pasty he had enjoyed a few hours ago.

Sirius sighed again, louder this time. After a second, he tried again, again louder, but received no reply. With an effort, he lifted his head and found himself staring at Remus' bed. He knew it was Remus' because the only mess surrounding it was a huge pile of books, which were gathering inches of dust very nicely. "Moony!" he hissed, waiting for a moment before trying again, "Moony!"

But his friend didn't answer, except to let out a loud, grunting snore which may or may not have been faked.

Sirius let his head fall back with a thud. He stared glumly up at the hangings once more, running his gaze over the different shades of red swirling together...

There was a biscuit up there. A biscuit. Just stuck to the bed. Even to Sirius, who had tried to moonwalk down stairs, this seemed a bit strange.

"Remus," whispered Sirius, "There is a biscuit stuck to my bed."

Still no reply. Sirius was left to stare at the biscuit alone. It seemed to be a chocolate one, and the chocolate side had melted, sticking to the material and causing it to matt unpleasantly…

"Moony. The chocolate's all melted."

Sirius' legs were beginning to ache from the mad dancing, which showed no sign of stopping, but still he received no reply. This was not what he had been expecting when he'd decided to serenade the marauders into a new day.

"You know Moony; this isn't what I was expecting when I decided to serenade the marauders into a new day."

It occurred to him briefly that if Moony actually was asleep he would simply be talking to himself. He opened his mouth to point this out, "If you're really asleep Moony, then…"

"Merlin!" A disgruntled face appeared between a gap pulled open in Remus' hangings. The werewolf glared at Sirius, whose face had split into a happy grin at the sight of his best friend. "Do you ever just think silently?"

"Moony! You're awake!"

"Of course I'm awake! How am I supposed to sleep when you're bleating at me?" Suddenly Remus' golden brown eyes narrowed and he stuck his head out further to stare at Sirius, "What are you doing with your feet?"

"Wormtail hexed me. And Prongs pushed me over." Sirius widened his eyes helplessly, "Help me."

"Will you shut up?"

Sirius nodded and Remus sighed, reaching over to his bedside table and picking up his pale, thin wand. He flicked it at Sirius, whose legs immediately ceased their mad dancing and fell limply to rest. Sirius' muscles screamed in protest and he groaned, sitting up to rub his aching calves, while Remus watched with thinly veiled amusement, before shaking his head and retreating into the warm confines of his bed.

"Moony!"

Remus' head reappeared, looking less than happy. "Sirius, let me define the process of shutting up…"

"Okay, okay! But how long do I have to be quiet for?"

Remus looked like he wanted to throw something at him. Sirius was grateful that Moony was so tidy, and so had nothing heavy to hand. Nothing but that huge pile of thick textbooks that is. He watched Remus glance at them thoughtfully, and tensed his muscles…

Remus made to grab his watch, which was resting just next to his bedtime reading pile, but was distracted by his best friend giving a high pitched shriek and propelling himself dramatically off his bed. It reminded Remus starkly of a muggle film. All that was needed was a small explosion, which actually, now he thought about it, wasn't so unlikely in this room…

"Pads?"

Sirius' head popped from the other side of the bed, smiling cheerily. Remus thought, not for the first time, that there might be some truth in Sirius' claim of not being able to feel pain. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." Sirius crossed his arms on the bed and rested his chin on them, examining Remus intently. His friend sighed, "Half an hour Pads. Just shut up fro half an hour. Please."

Sirius nodded and mimed zipping closed his mouth, locking it and throwing away the key. He then pretended to dive after the key, slamming his body into the floor behind the bed and flailing around, so the only thing Moony would be able to see would be his waving arm or leg. However, when he sat back up, Remus had disappeared and all was silent again, bar the distant murmurs of students making their way through the common room.

Something dug into Sirius thigh and he reached down to extract it. A watch he vaguely remembered an old girlfriend giving him lay in his outstretched palm. Sirius blew away a spider which was scuttling over its surface and checked the time...

8:30

Ah well. A promise is a promise. He would wake the others up at nine. Lessons started then, but whatever. Sirius was sure they wouldn't be that late. Meanwhile, Sirius Black jumped, catlike, to his feet and moonwalked towards the bathroom, humming a tune under his breath.

---------------

Sirius put down the razor and leaned into the mirror to examine his handiwork. There was a small cut back near his ear, a bright red droplet already beginning to form. Sirius sighed, grabbed his wand from where he'd found it - in the toothbrush holder – and pressed it to the tip. New skin meshed over the wound and, satisfied, Sirius stepped back and ran a critical eye over his reflection.

After a moment, he grabbed a tie from its position over the towel rack and unlocked the bathroom door.

The three other boys were still sleeping soundly as Sirius climbed towards the mirror, stopping for a moment to examine a clock he found nestled between a textbook and fanged Frisbee. The right angles of the hands confirmed what he already suspected and, throwing down the clock with a clatter, he cleared his throat.

"ALRIGHTY GIRLS! RISE AND SHINE!"

The result was just what he'd been hoping for. Sirius watched, a fond smile on his face, as Peter gave a scream and fell out of bed, the blow softened somewhat by a pile of robes which had taken over the small gap between his and James' bed. James himself heard Peter's fall and poked a yawning head out of the hangings curiously, only to be met with the sight of Peter Pettigrew in just his underwear rolling around beneath his nose. He in turn gave a yell of disgust and threw himself backwards off the bed, colliding with Remus' bed post and clutching his head with a muffled swear.

There was a moment's silence while Peter pulled himself to his feet, and then Remus' voice floated through his hangings, followed a moment later by his head and shoulders. "Hello? Is anyone up?"

All three boys turned to look at Sirius, who was standing in the middle of a huge pile of junk, staring into the cracked mirror and concentrating hard as he tied a school tie round his head. He noticed them all staring at him in his reflection and smiled charmingly, "Morning!" He turned, the tie dangling by his right temple, and clambered over the mess covering the floor. The other three ran nervous eyes over his uniform and bag, which was sitting by the door, ready to go.

"Padfoot?" whispered James quietly, "Why are you dressed?"

"Because…" Sirius consulted the watch he had found under his bed. It had been a bit dirty, so he's washed it under the hot tap. It was ticking a bit unevenly now, but Sirius didn't think that'd matter. How important could that ticking really be anyway? "Because it is three minutes past nine on a Monday morning."

The others stared at him for a moment, before simultaneously barrelling towards the bathroom and attempting to go through the door. Surprisingly, at least in Sirius' mind, they didn't make it. In fact, they all got wedged in the doorframe, Remus with his nose up against the wood, James with his head and shoulders in the bathroom but bottom half in the dorm, and Peter simply standing there between them, looking confused.

"Don't worry guys! I'll get you out!" cried an entirely too-enthusiastic voice from behind them, and before they could protest, Sirius Black's shoulder rammed into Peter's back, sending him across the threshold like a bullet and causing the other two to fall to the floor with cries of pain.

"You're welcome!" sang Sirius happily from behind them, and bounced down the stairs, ignoring the cries of abuse carrying down the corridor. Because he knew they would thank him one day…

A/N: I have a Sirius addiction (pun intended) and this is the result. I figured that rather than attempt to write another chapter of my current fic while not in the mood, I'd do something new. I'm going to try and get this finished quite quickly – I'm only planning on doing a few chapters so it shouldn't be too hard. Anyways, I hope you like, and please, please review!