Title: Love
Summary: As saddening as it may sound, you are the only true and pure love that I've ever had the pleasure to experience.
Disclaimer: I do not own OITNB or any of its characters. They belong to Jenji Kohen, I do however own my writing, please don't steal- Johanna002©
Read, Review, Subscribe, Add to Favs
A/N: I present to you some mother-daughter fluff. I hope your heart bursts with as much joy as mine did writing this.
I see you busily working, bossing orders left and right as you wave around that disgusting, mildew smelling towel . I can't help but to shake my head and smile. I wonder what you were like on the outside, before you came to this shithole. I picture you being who you are now: tough, strong willed, and most of all, loving.
I know it's all true, but I also know you've had to take on an even harder approach to life after having been here, because like me, this place has changed you. Maybe this place has made you harder and maybe just a tad more distrusting of people.
For me, however, this place has been the wake up call that I always needed. I won't admit this out loud, and as much as I hate it here, I think it saved my life. I was brought here to get my life right; to realize that I don't want to fall back into old habits, because now I know the consequences. I also realize that if I use again and fall back into my addictive nature, prison won't be the price I pay- it'll be my life.
Litchfield does not stand alone as the main component for why I am in recovery. I am in recovery because of you.
Through prison I found you.
Your devotion to me and to my recovery has been the recipe that's allowed me to find peace within myself. It's been the antidote to heal the emotional wounds that I've suffered. I know you don't watch over me and bust me upside the head for my smart mouth because you find it enjoyable or amusing… well, maybe you do find it amusing to smack me. I have to admit that sometimes my mouth has a way of getting me into trouble.
Since the moment I arrived at Litchfield, you took me under your wing. You helped me through one of the worst detoxing episodes that I have ever had, and you stayed by my side and distracted me every time I had a dire urge to use.
You love me. The only reason you would have stuck by my side after all the shit I've been through is because you love. I know it's true. I know you love me. As saddening as it may sound, you are the only true and pure love that I've ever had the pleasure to experience.
Something possess me. I don't know what it is exactly, but with a force I have no control of, I stand, essentially ending the chatter spewing forth from Morello's cherry-popin colored lips.
"What," I hear Lorna's Italian, New York charmed accent call out. "Nicky, where you going?"
My pace picks up and I don't realize that I'm walking back behind the serving line into the kitchen until I actually cross the threshold. Standing off to the side, I watch you in amazement as you transition like a pro from task to task, all the while still maintain to keep your head afloat. You're in your zone; you're not stressed or running a muck.
It's comforting to me.
Seeing you at ease and in your zone is comforting to me.
Emotions consumed me, and I lost myself in my thoughts. You probably called out to me a hundred times. It wasn't until you were standing in front of me, when I finally heard you- sensed you.
"Nicky," I love your mother accent. "Nicky,"
My eyes cast up to meet yours and I see concern floating about in your blue eyes. I hope mine conveys to you the truth.
"Nicky, you okay?" Your hands reach up to cup my face. You always do this. I love when you do this.
"I'm fine." I don't even recognize my own voice.
Your left eyebrow arches in concern. "You sure?"
I smile. "Yes," my hands reach up to meet where yours lay on my cheeks, slowly I pull them down, and I avert my attention, from the depths of your mesmerizing pools, to the un-swept ground.
"Nicky," You say in warning. I find it funny and let a small chuckle pass my lips.
"I Just wanted to say," My eyes cast back up to yours. "That I love you."
I don't miss the total look of excitement that immediately plays across your face. The smile on your lips is infectious and I can't help the smile that illuminates on my own features.
Your hands, soft and warm, grasp my face once more, your right thumb sweeping across my skin softly. You kiss my cheek quickly and I attempt to squirm. Your thumb moves swiftly and I laugh softly as I assume you're erasing the evidence of your red lipstick. You release me and I smile, making my way out of the kitchen.
"Nicky!" I turn back at the sound of your beautiful Russian accent. "I love you too!"