Okay, people! I have a story idea, and I decided to make it into a one-shot! Surprisingly, I got this idea while talking with my mom. Weird, huh? Anyways, this will be my second humor fic, and I don't really plan on making a sequel to it, unless I randomly find some sort of inspiration for one. Well, enough of my blabbering. On with the story!

After the disclaimer and the key. Ha ha!

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. You're all big meanie-heads for making me admit it.

Key

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

Send In the Clowns!

It was a nice, sunny Saturday morning in Tokyo, Japan. The sun was shining brightly, but a cool breeze prevented anyone from getting too bothered by the heat.

Well, except for one guy who was running down a street cursing the sun in all its hot and fiery glory, but he has no importance whatsoever to this story, so he doesn't count.

Anyways, the weather was very nice, as if it had decided to join in on the celebration that was going on at the Tsukino residence. And it was very obvious that a celebration was occurring, especially to anyone who lived within four blocks of that particular home.

After all, there were about twenty 4-year-old children running around in the fenced-in backyard. And they were making quite a lot of noise, needless to say.

Now, what was all of the hubbub about, you ask?

Or perhaps you are wondering what the heck Ken and Ilene Tsukino were on that made them play host and hostess to such a rambunctious bunch of tots.

Well, the answer is quite simple, really.

Today was Serena Tsukino's fourth birthday. And, with her being their one and only daughter, Ken and Ilene had decided to go against every bit of sanity they had and tell their daughter to invite her whole class over for her birthday party.

In other words, they decided to dig their own graves.

Now, Ken and Ilene had left the children outside, alone and unattended for a few moments so they could go over the plan for their surprise for Serena. Oh, they were going to regret ever going through with this plan.

"Now, Ken, I'll go outside and get the children settled down. When you hear your cue-"

"I come running out of the house and do my thing," Ken finished. Ilene smiled and clapped her hands.

"Excellent. Oh, Serena's going to LOVE this!" she exclaimed. With that, the mother turned and pranced out of the house, a wide smile on her face.

"She's going to enjoy this more than the kids will," Ken muttered to himself with a sigh as he got ready in his place by the door to wait for his cue.

"Okay, boys and girls! Gather around the birthday girl! We have a special surprise for you all!" Ilene said cheerfully. Immediately, the young ones all plopped down on the ground on a blanket, forming a circle around Serena. The little blonde-haired girl smiled excitedly as her friends all chattered around her, wondering what the surprise was.

"Do you know what the surprise is, Serena!" A little brown haired girl asked. Serena shook her head, the ringlets that fell from her odangos flying around her face.

"Uh-uh! But it's gotta be somethin' big, 'cause Mommy's real 'cited!" she exclaimed, smiling cheerfully.

"I bet it's an elephant!"

"Nuh-uh! I bet it's a moose!"

"You're both wrong! It's a tiger!"

A few of the children launched into an argument about what the surprise was as the other's listened, eyes growing a bit wider at each guess that was made. Ilene looked on with a smile, letting their active imaginations run wild as they tried to solve the mystery of what the surprise was. After a few minutes, she got their attention once more.

"Those are all excellent suggestions, and I'll be sure to keep those in mind for next year's party," she began, pausing as a cheer arose from the children and Serena clapped her hands excitedly. Ilene felt guilt tug at her heart for a moment; of course none of those suggestion could be included in next year's party, as they all posed some kind of threat to everyone's safety, but she quickly shook it off and smiled once more.

"Now, it's time for you to find out what the surprise is!" Another cheer rose from the ranks.

"And now I'd like you all to meet-" she paused for dramatic effect, smiling at the eager and impatient looks on the children's faces. Serena was practically bouncing up and down in her spot on the blanket.

"Pickles the Clown!"

And suddenly, Ken the back door to the house slammed open and out came something that Serena could only describe as a thing. Her sky blue eyes widened as she stared at the ugly… Thing that was coming closer. The other children were laughing and pointing at this Pickles character. She didn't find anything funny about it.

Wild, untamable red hair stuck out on all sides of the clown's head in disarray. The clown's face was very pale, except for the red lips that were around its mouth and other lips. What kind of creature had two pairs of lips! The deep red lips were curled up into a smile, and Serena was sure that even if the clown frowned with its first pair of lips, the second pair would stay frozen in that position. Its eyes were outlined in blue, and its nose…

Oh, for the sake of all things sweet, its NOSE.

It was big, red, round, and HUGE. Serena was amazed that it hadn't consumed the whole clown's face yet. Just when noticed the baggy, colorful suit the clown was wearing, it spoke.

"Hi there, boys and girls! Who's ready to celebrate Serena's birthday!"

Serena's eyes widened to the size of plates, and she stared at the clown that was coming closer… Closer… Closer…

TOO CLOSE! TOO CLOSE!

"Now, let's all get ready to have even more fun!" the clown guffawed. Serena recognized that voice, and that laugh. Her eyes widened further, and realization hit her.

'The… Clown… It… It…'

Serena screamed.

Immediately, all eyes were on the little blonde-haired birthday girl.

"What's wrong, Serena? Why aren't you happy on your special day?" Pickles asked, coming closer to the group of children. Another ear-piercing shriek erupted from the girl's throat, and she jumped to her feet.

"THE CLOWN ATE MY DADDY!" she shrieked, pointing an accusative finger at the clown. Her friends sat there, stunned for a second.

And then they realized that the voice of Serena's father had indeed come out of the clown's mouth. Which could only mean one thing, and that was what Serena had said.

Immediately, they all jumped to their feet and began to scream and run about in a panic. Ilene tried to calm the children down, and Ken, aka Pickles, ran to Serena to explain that he was her daddy, and that he had most certainly not eaten himself.

Serena screamed when she saw what she thought to be a cannibalistic clown running at her, and immediately took off in the opposite direction.

"SERENA! IT'S ME! DADDY! I'M JUST PLAYING DRESS UP!"

"DON'T SQUISH ME WITH YOUR BIG FEEEEEEEEEEEET, MR. CLOWN!"

"SERENA! SLOW DOWN!"

"NOOOOOOOOO! YOU'LL EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

As the two adults tried desperately to calm the children down, they were thinking the same thing.

'This did not turn out as planned.'

Author's Note

Yeah, the ending wasn't as good as I hoped it would be. I hope it was okay, though. The inspiration for this story came from my fear of clowns, as well as my mother's revelation that my father would sometimes dress up as a clown when I was younger, for hospital and church activities. And, well, I thought what would have happened if he had dressed up as a clown for one of my birthday parties when I was younger.

And viola, this story was born.

Please review! I'm thinking of writing a sequel, but I won't if I don't get reviews that ask me to! And remember, the more reviews I get, the better chance there is of a sequel coming out! You don't have to leave me a long review. Just a 'good', 'bad', or 'continue' will make me happy.