Dork Swan

The new Dark One is really terrible and horrible at being evil. AU. One shot. Trying to break my writer's block. Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon A Time or any of its characters.

Henry winces when another sneeze was heard from his brunette mother's room upstairs even though he is in the kitchen making PB&J sandwich for his afternoon snack. Regina had asked him to stay with the Charmings upon catching a cold this morning but the boy was persistent to stay home and offered any help he can.

Up in the master bedroom, Regina was tucked all the way to her forehead in her blanket. Only a portion of her hair can be seen when a chime from her phone indicating she got a new text message was heard from her nightstand.

She groaned and ignores it. After several minutes, another text was received. Again, she ignored it. By the third time, she grabbed her phone and turned it to mute before tossing it carelessly on the mattress.

On the other side of the town, Charming and Snow's phone too chimes with incoming text. Both of them smiles when they see Emma's name on the screen as they or anyone in the town, haven't heard from the blonde since a week before when she went and broke-up with Hook and making him cried with something she whispered to him.

While the blonde savior turned Dark One was dressed to suit her name, the evilest thing the new Dark One ever did was making a grown man cried or setting fire to random people's lawn. Or that one too many times when she magically put worms and insects in someone's meal. Basically just pranks.

Snow and Charming was positive it's because Emma was the savior, product of true love and all thing light that when she is turn to something supposedly the evilest form ever known, she's not that evil. Because she was pure. They even presented their theories to Regina and Henry using power point and pie charts to prove why Emma can't be THAT evil. Of course, receiving an eye rolled from Regina and a snickered from Henry.

So when they read the text from their daughter, they had a confused face when the text said to come to the pier in 20 minutes and to leave Henry and Neal behind. But they quickly replied an okay.

Henry was just drying the plate he was using when he got a text from his blonde mother asking him to ask Regina to read her texts or she will come and burn the brunette's phone in the next 5 minutes. He rolled his eyes at his blonde mother attempt at a threat, knowing Regina will mostly set fire to Emma's hair before she can even touch the brunette's phone but complied and replied a short 'Ya' to Emma and promptly went to get Regina.

"Mom" Henry muttered while softly shaking Regina's shoulder to wake her up. After several tries, his brunette mother finally turned to him with a confused face.

"Hey mom. Sorry to wake you up but Emma asked you to read her messages and threaten to burn your phone if you don't. Here." Henry passed her the phone that he found beside his mother lump shape blanket.

Regina blearily opened her eyes and muttered a weak thank you to her son before squinting her eyes trying to read the messages. With a loud groan, she shakily sat-up in her bed and paused for several seconds before getting off the bed.

Henry was quick to his feet trying to help. "Where are you going?"

"Your idiot mother asked me to meet her in 20 minutes and that was half an hour ago."

"Okay… But you're sick. Can't you just cancel or reschedule?"

"I wish I could dear, but she threatens to cut my apple tree again and I know she'll delivered it." By the time Regina was done putting on a thick sweater and her comfiest slacks and emerges from her closet, she saw the worry face of her son and felt warm in her heart. Not warm because of her fever, but of Henry's concern and thank her lucky star that she get to call this wonderful human her son.

"I'll be quick Henry. Don't worry okay?" at Henry's nod, both of them turned to the door and heading to the stairs.

"Now remember…"

"Don't let anyone in and always lock the door. I know mom." Regina smiles at her son and reaches for her coat and car keys.

"I would kiss you now but I don't want you to be sick. I'll be quick." And she was out to meet the Dark One.

"Regina! What are you doing here?" Asked a concern Snow having heard from her grandson that the brunette was not feeling well.

"Your dreadful daughter wanted to meet me here. What are you doing here?"

"We too was asked to meet her here but that was 20 minutes ago and she's still not here"

"Hmm… Who would have thought that even being the Dark One, she would still be late." Answered Regina and then she sneezes 3 times without stopping. "Excuse me" was heard in a nasally voice from her.

"Maybe you should wait in the car Regina. It's quite cold here and we don't know how long until Emma would come." Charming told the brunette with a hand on her shoulder having noticed how Regina was shivering and hugging herself against the wind.

But before Regina got to answer, the Dark One materialized in front of them in a swirling puff of black smoke which triggered a round of cough from the three other people, followed by Regina's series of sneezes.

Even before the smoke fully dissipated, Emma has already started talking.

"This is all your fault! If you hadn't put me in that damn wardrobe in the first place, I wouldn't be here like this! Do you have any idea how exhausting being the Dark One is? Even though I don't need any sleep, I would like to be asleep sometimes too! So you are to blame!"

"Emma… I thought we settled this issue months ago. And you know we had no choice. What brought this again?" Asked Charming.

There was a sneeze from Regina and a small excuse me was heard before Emma continues her rant.

"You always have choice! And this is because I can't get any sleep and I like my nap time but you know what I can't do anymore?"

Now it was Snow who answered her, "Sleep?"

"Yes! For a second I thought I was gonna have to spell it to you guys! And you!" she then turned to face Regina and paused upon seeing the brunette for the first time. She looked like she was hit by a bus and that is saying something because Regina is gorgeous and never not perfect.

But now, she is sporting a semi bed-head hair, flushed skin, red eyes and nose, which will give a clown a run for its money on their red nose. Super watery eyes which makes them looked like 2 glasses shining at Emma and pale lips. So pale that it's kinda looked like they are becoming blue.

Shaking her head, determined to deliver her point, Emma continues again with her rant. "Just because my mousy mother cannot help to keep a secret, you had to go all crazy and cast a curse which prompted these two to think…" her speech was cut with Regina's sneezes again and she had to repeat it again because Regina said she didn't hear her over her sneezes.

So, the Dark One rolled her eyes and looked pointedly at the brunette whom now definitely is sporting blue lips and patiently repeated her speech and again she was cut by a cough and a sneezed from the brunette who is shivering quite severely and was swaying on her feet.

"Stop interrupting me whe…" there was a gust of cold wind that even the Dark One felt through her leather outfit and a shout of "Regina" by her mother on her other side and when she looked at Regina of her other side, she saw Regina is falling and lucky for her new powers, she was quick to catch her before she hit the ground.

She could feel the heat emitting from Regina through her coat and in a panic, looked at her parents from Regina's unconscious body. "What is wrong with her? Mom? Dad?"

Charming was next to her "Do you need help carrying her?" But he was ignored and Emma even backed a little when he tried to touch Regina and gave him the evil eyes. Snow on the other hand, managed to put her palm on Regina's forehead before Emma got to stop her.

"Oh my god! She's burning! We got to get her to the hospital."

Emma nodded and in puff of swirling black smoke, all three of them materialized in the ER. It all happened so fast. Snow explaining what happened to one of the nurses who quickly paged a doctor while Emma wave her hand, bringing a confused Henry standing in front of her with no shoes on, while clutching a jar of cookie with one hand in it, looking confused and guilty at getting caught. But that look quickly turned to concern when he noticed where he is standing.

"Ma? What happened?"

His blonde mother hugged him so tight that he almost choked on the left over cookie still in his mouth. When she pulled back, she has tears in her eyes and looked at him with a devastating face.

"I'm sorry Henry. I didn't know."

"What you didn't know?" he asked but all he got from her was the same sorry and that she didn't know.

Charming saw him and came to the pair and he explained to the boy of what happened and soon was joined by his wife. While they wait for the doctor to check on Regina, Henry gave Emma a hug again and whispered that everything will be okay to her.

But Emma's patience is wearing thin and she storms to Regina's bed and magically choke the doctor who's attending Regina, demanding him to hurry and heal Regina. Henry was next to her moments later asking her to release the doctor. Snow and Charming too tried to persuade her and telling her the doctor can't do his work with her choking him. Finally she releases him but she wouldn't budge from where she stands next to Regina's laying form, eyeing the doctor's every moves.

After what felt like forever but in reality was about less than 5 minutes. The doctor explained to the group that Regina probably fainted because of her high fever and her being outside in the cold wind didn't help her condition. He connects Regina to a drip and said that she would be move to a room for the night and tomorrow they will check her progress, and upon Emma's lifting her hand again, he quickly told them that he can't do anything to fasten the healing and was quick to make his exit.

Regina was then wheeled to a private room with the group following closely. They were all seated in the sofa waiting for Regina to wake up while Emma was pacing the room like a mad woman, muttering to herself that it was all her fault. That if she hasn't demanded for Regina to meet her up by the pier she would not be in this situation. That if she was more attentive to the brunette, she would noticed that she was sick.

Her thoughts were cut by Snow placing her hand on Emma's arm. And when she looked at her daughter, Snow saw that her daughter had tears running down her cheeks and quickly hug her. Emma lets out a sob and was then enveloped by 2 more sets of arms. Henry's and Charming's. Their small hugging group was broken by Regina's sneezed fits, followed by a long groan.

Emma was beside Regina in an instant and hugged her, "Oh my god! You're awake! I'm so sorry Regina. She's awake! Henry! Mom, Dad, Regina's awake!"

With a shaky hand, Regina slowly pushed Emma to look her in the eyes. "Why are you shouting? And where am I?"

So the group explained to Regina of what happened and Charming managed to get the doctor to do a quick check-up on the brunette.

…

It was two days later that Regina finally got released from the hospital with Emma being by her side the whole 48 hours. And that apparently was not enough because now the mayoral mansion also housed one Dark One whom insisted that she needs to look after the brunette until she's 100 percent sure that she fit and healthy again. Fussing over Regina's pillows to make sure she's comfortable, her soup temperature to make sure she won't burn her mouth, her towels are always kept warm and she even serves Regina breakfast in bed.

And she's still staying there in the mansion and fussing over Regina even though the incident happened a month ago.