Fandom:
Getbackers
Pairing: Ginji/Ban
Title: Divide
Lately, we have begun to fall apart. We've never been a very demonstrative pair--well, Ban-chan isn't, anyway--but we were comfortable. Complacent in the knowledge--or perhaps it was thought, pure wishful thought--that we were upmost in each other's minds. But ever since we've taken the divide-and-conquer tactic, to make double the money on smaller retrievals, it's been different.
It's.
We.
I.
I'm uncomfortable now.
We don't see each other as much anymore, even though we've managed to afford our own apartment. The amount of time we spend together has markedly decreased. But though our time becomes more precious by dint of us having less of it, it always leaves me dissatisfied. The drop in the longevity of our contact has been falling regularly--every month or so, we lose another couple of hours.
The less time we have, my desire to see him grows proportionately. But when we see each other--for dinner, before bed, meeting for coffee--I come away more and more dissatisfied; an unhappy grumbling grows in my heart.
[Perhaps it's because] when we meet, I'm always overjoyed--and I do mean over-joyed. Well, I used to be, anyway. Now I feel a sense of longing mingled with dread--will we ever be the same again? Won't I ever be happy and satisfied with Ban-chan's company again? He's always satisfied. Even though I'm not as incoherently happy at the sight of him, he acts the same as ever.
Despair is approaching.
It frustrates me.
It confuses me. We should be stronger than this. Rather, the depth of my friendship and attachment should be stronger.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do! My
teeth are gritting at the thought. I am home alone. It
hurts. This