(Current timeline: January 1996)
"Pity, pity. I thought you would have weathered better after all this time Lady Black." The Dark Lord, tutted, as he kicked her crumpled body over onto her back again. She moaned, trying to open both eyes. Her right eye must have swelled shut, making it difficult for her to make out the dark lord's menacing form. "You thought you could hide from me, from my Deatheaters?"
"No," she croaked. "I've never wanted to hide from you." She wheezed as the Dark Lord stomped on her wand holding hand.
"I didn't catch all that Janelle. What didn't you do?"
"I was forced. I, uh," she wheezed again, was her lung collapsing, "Regulus did this to me. Please believe me."
"Regulus Black, betray me? Unlikely." Voldemort swooped down, scaring Janelle with the sudden closeness. His face was more snakelike that she had remembered all those years ago. "But you," he jabbed with his wand, "you, the impressible Janelle Fawley, you on the other hand, were always the wildcard in the deck."
"But sir-" He grabbed her jaw with a sudden fierceness, forcing her silent.
"No matter, the truth has a way of coming out, one way or another."
(Past: Summer 1995)
Again she dabbled between the vials on the hidden shelf. Her only companions over the last decade, were the memories of a life she had forgotten. Deidra pushed back the vials, looking for the memory labelled For When you're Lonely.
"Regulus I know it will hurt for a while," the blonde pulled the raven haired, lanky boy flush against her, "remember I'm always here for you." He nuzzled further into her embrace, he needed the comfort, he needed the guidance. He wanted to be strong, but for once he could not do it. She played with his hair which usually slicked back had become unruly from the tussle with... Sirius. He tried to steady his haggard breathing with her lulling humming. Finally, his anger subsided and a new emotion risen, gratitude and a sense of intimacy? She had quietly and without question, had tended to him in his darkest hour. Without her familiar quips or haughty laughter, she refreshed him with a kind embrace during his moment of weakness. He took in a long breath, smelling vanilla verbena. Yes, yes this was comforting, this was right. He could feel her stroking halt as his stormy eyes met hers. Her eyes smiled, and as genuine as her flashy grin. "As long as you ever need." He offered a small grin in return. Surprisingly, swiping a stray lock from her eyesight. He wanted to look at her entire, welcoming face.
"Your appreciation will never be forgotten." He whispered, flicking his wand at the door.
"Regulus!" She squealed as her hauled her into air with his grip around her derriere. He sat her onto a desktop, her legs spread apart with him strategically situated between them. "What, what are you..." She paused, listening to the plop of her cloak as he shoved it off her shoulders. "Ah.." She screeched as her fingers dug into his shoulders. The creeping of his fingers under her blouse tickled.
"Just relax Janelle, let me return the favor." She shivered, of all the teenage fantasies a girl could have, this was the hottest to come true. She licked her lips in anticipation, feeling his fingers ghost over her breasts. Regulus took her flushed appearance, and lack of disapproval was encouragement to continue his advancements. He brought his eager mouth to hers, it was sweet and warm. His heart began to shudder as she reciprocated his intensity. Maybe she wanted this as well? No time for trivial thoughts, she was allowing it for now. She moaned as he rolled her nipple back and forth between his digits. Perky and eager as he had hoped. In the few minutes of passionate snogging, a fury of hands had relieve her of her constricting jumper and lined undershirt, leaving the top half of her bare. Her chest was full and heaving as he had always imagined. While Regulus had his tie unfastened and his button up shirt wide open. She couldn't help but admire his lean physique, Quidditch kept him in jealousy inducing greatness. He couldn't take it any longer, his hand finally wandered up her skirt, brushing against the laced line entrance, he smirked feeling the wetness beneath had surpassed the thin fabric. "You want this to happen don't you?" He smacked his lips, as he applied some needed pressure. Her body quivered beneath his.
"Yes, Reg..ah, Regulus. Please." She wheezed out in breathy moans. "Please, please." His fingers pushed the fabric over, slowly sliding his fingers down her slit. She shivered, her body literally lurched forward in desire. He wrapped his free hand around her while pulling her lust filled face close to his. He pressed a finger into her while the pad of his thumb rubbed rigid circles. Oh, did he relish her reaction, a bit too much. He was a bit selfish, and pressed another digit in while his thumb spread her lips farther open, teasing her clit as he slammed and curled his fingers inside her.
"Please, I..." She really moaned, loud and proud this time. He was delighted to see how wet she was after she came. They were both panting as he pulled away from her. He licked his moistened fingers as she looked away embarrassed.
"Just as sweet as the rest of you."
"Oh shut up." She muttered, as she slid her undershirt back over her head. She quickly squealed, and pushed his chest. "Ew don't kiss me now. That's disgusting." He laughed.
"It wouldn't be any different if you kissed me after pleasing me." She pulled her jumper over now, it was a sad sight for him.
"Still gross." She fastened her cloak on looking expectantly at him.
"What?" He asked as he fixed his tie. She pointed between the two of them.
"What would you call this, Black?" He smirked approaching her until she backed in a desk again.
"Well Fawley, since we're defining terms." He pulled her close again, he could feel her heart hammering against her chest. "This is my claim on you. Just as it should have been in the beginning. It's time to tell my cousin to bugger off."
And every night, she relived these forgotten memories. A life she lived prior to her accident, which from what was left in this house, wasn't as accidentally as it seemed. She longed for a chance to meet this boy she dreamt of, this Regulus.
His senses were keen, he knew that in this animagus form they were almost as strong as a wolf, but he had to be imagining this? He could see her long brunette hair tumbling down her shoulders, bouncing back and forth as she walked with her arms full. She reminded him of her, when he was in his youth. Before she colored her hair like the sun, where her hazel eyes were complimented with the chestnut waves. Even her scent was familiar, a calming smell, like the vanilla verbena soaps she used daily. She religiously wore the same scent over and over again, like she never could bare the thought of smelling different. But he had to be wrong, him, with the entire wizarding world thought her and him to be dead. And here she was gardening like a muggle, with no cares in the world. He had been watching her for a while now, trying to make sense of his observations and his reoccurring thoughts. First and foremost, she was a witch. She had been putting on a good show, maybe so the surrounding muggles never caught on, but she would cast spells all the time. To make things bloom bright, or make her basket loads lighter. She always had her wand in the sleeves of her clothing, which made him very wary. When she was gardening she would converse and lament to herself, if anyone else would have hear her, they would think she had gone mad. But Sirius understood, even sympathize with her. Twelve years in Azkaban had left him with little communication with others, talking to one's self was a way he spent many days trying to occupy himself. To hold onto some form of normalcy as the others around him went mad from torture. She looked up in his direction, Sirius panicked, had he been panting? He slowly tried to back away from line of sight, only to get his leg caught. He howled in pain, why had he done that?
She saw the creature, her direct stare must have startled it. She was going to continue her gardening until she heard a cry. She approached the beast, slowly, the black dog was growling, showing his teeth at her. She assessed the situation. The poor thing had gotten its leg caught, it was bent at a weird angle.
"Albus you have to believe me. It was her!" Sirius was pacing around the room, while Dumbledore stayed transfixed near the fire place.
"Hasn't Alastor warned you about daily excursions?" Sirius rubbed his temple, trying to ignore the subject change. "Yes, Albus but this was her. This was Janelle Fawley." He paused, "I couldn't be surer in my life."
"Ms. Fawley disappeared right before your brother Regulus. It was assumed that they disappeared together. Even her father, Hector, never heard from his daughter again. If this truly was Janelle, I would believe she would have made some attempt to see her father when his health began to decline."
"That's it though, isn't it?" Ranting his inner thoughts out loud. He began his maddening pace around the room again.
"I don't follow you." Albus admitted.
"She would have, if she had remembered to do so." Albus smiled at the idea.
"You believe someone erased her memory."
"Not someone, my brother did."
"How could you be sure? I was under the impression that they were happily married." Sirius stopped, then quickly turned and kicked a chair.
"I don't know. Maybe they were, maybe they weren't. All I know is my brother's wife is alive with no seeming recollection of who she was. Or where he is. She's been living alone all these years."
"And did you come by this information?" Sirius cursed, he hadn't meant to let that slip.
"Well she has a soft spot for strays. I've been there plenty of times this last couple weeks. I've needed to know everything about her."
"Why is this?" Albus asked humbly, not trying to provoke him any further.
"To know if she was real, or if she was all in my head. Sometimes in Azkaban, I would dream of my family, and, and," Sirius choked up, "I just wanted to believe that this time it wasn't a hallucination."
"What is it that you would like me to do?"
"Excuse me?" Sirius was slightly taken back by Dumbledore's brash comment. He offered him a smile in return.
"You wouldn't be relaying all your suspicions to me without wanting me to pursue it. Am I wrong to assume?" Sirius shook his head, he still sometimes forgot how his old professor was always so perceptive.
"Is there any way you could pay her a visit. See if I missed something. I want to know why no one has found her before."
"How may I help you?" The brunette stood behind the door, gazing at the strange man. His blue eyes twinkling, and his long white beard slightly raising as he smiled at her. She seemed to calm at his demeanor, no matter how strange his dressing robes were.
"Good morning, Miss. My name is Albus Dumbledore, I was wondering if you had a moment to talk?" He saw the brief recognition pass her hazel eyes.
"I'm, um, sure. Come on in. Would you like some tea, sir?"
"Ah yes if you don't mind." She gestured for the man to take a seat at the table, while she busied herself preparing the water. She sat out the china, while he sat. She pulled another chair to the table as the water boiled.
"So, um, Mr. Dumbledore how may I help you sir?"
"Well first I would like to know if you remember me?" Her brow furrowed in confusion, he hadn't tripped anything in her recollection. After about a minute she gave up. Maybe he had confused her pleasant stare for a knowing one.
"I'm sorry sir. I was in an accident a decade or so back. I'm not so good with names or memories."
"Not even your own?" He asked quietly. She shook her head.
"No. The identification I had on me at the hospital said my name was Deidra Noir. But it's never felt truly right. It sounds more like something I would name a daughter than myself." She coughed, she hadn't meant to say that out loud.
"If I understand correctly, Noir means Black?" Again Albus could swear he could see the clogs turning her head. She blushed, embarrassed.
"I thought it sounded more like a perfume more than anything. I guess I never thought to look it up."
"If you don't mind me asking Deidra, how did you sustain your trauma?"
"They said a car accident, but they said they found me lying outside a hospital. No car in sight. Probable hit and run. But I sustain head injuries and nearly had the skin and muscle tore off my arm. They almost had to use skin grafts." The kettle began to whistle she quickly stood up, trying anything to hide her flushed skin again. Albus had waved for her to sit.
"Let me get it."
"No, no you are my guest."
"No, no trouble at all." He waved his wand, bringing the drink-ware, and boiling kettle over to the table through the air. She sat there with her mouth agape. He offered to pour hers as well, but she shook her head.
"You're a wizard as well." So she knew about magic, despite the 'memory' loss. Albus had expected as much.
"So you know that you're a witch Deidra?"
"Yes." She shyly admitted. She was baffled by meeting another wizard. All these years she had been surrounded by non-magical folks.
"Do you remember going to Hogwarts?" Her eyes widened, she had studied at the best wizarding school in area.
"I went there?" She happily exclaimed. "What house was I in?"
"Slytherin." He said less enthused. She was put off by his dejected tone.
"Oh. Was I a bad student?"
"No, no. You were an exemplary student while attending there." She smiled. "You had an aptitude for charms and transfiguration."
"I had a feeling." Trying to hide a wry smile, she had more than just a feeling about that subject.
"But the crowd you fell in, well that's a different story altogether."
"Am I wanted? Did I break the law?" She began to panic. He could see her worries surface.
"That answer is a little more complex. Are you wanted by the Ministry, short answer no. Are you wanted by others? That is a more likely possibility." She took a long sip of her tea, not sure of how to react.
"Am I in danger?"
"At the present moment, no. But..."
"But what?"
"If we were able to find you, the others might be able to find you."
"Who is we?"
"The Order."
"Of the Phoenix?" He smiled.
"And you came by this information, how?"
"I have my sources."
"Very well." They discussed a few disjointed items that she had wondered about the wizarding world. Finally she asked the question that had been vexing her since he first began to explain himself.
"Sir?"
"What was my name?"
"Formerly Janelle Fawley." Albus saw that this name was not foreign to her. But he wasn't able to tell how or why that was. She gave a sigh of relief before quickly thinking, "Formerly?"
"You had recently gotten married before you disappeared."
"And...And my husband?"
"Regulus Black." She let out a breath of surprise. The young man preserved in the vials near her bed. The man who in memories had kept her company, kept her safe from the unknown threats all these years. "Presumed missing or dead along with you, but I have the suspicion of the latter." She looked crestfallen, he patted her hand. "I'm sorry my dear."
"Do, do I have any other family?"
"Your father died not too long after you had gone missing. Dragon pox is harder on older wizards."
"Oh, um, what was his name?"
"Hector Fawley."
"An ex Minister of Magic. He, he resigned after Gridenwald was defeated." She stared at him in disbelief. "After, after you defeated Gridenwald. Mr. Fawley, my father, hadn't taken the threat seriously, or at least that is was the history books say."
"Yes. He did resigned after that. He also was busy finding a suitable wife. He end up marrying a few different times then having children, you and your brother later in life."
"Brother?"
"Yes, yes older brother Sean."
"Sean Fawley." His name made her lips tingle. She wasn't alone. "How much older?"
"About 5 years. He had a child, Sullivan, he is enrolled at Hogwarts currently."
"What house?"
"Hufflepuff."
"Pureblood or half-blood?" His eyes darken and she covered her mouth. It was almost like a reflex that she couldn't help. "That was rude, never mind."
"I'm really not sure. Blood purity is not Hogwarts agenda or criteria for new students." He scolded her, she didn't really know why that question had come out. She couldn't really remember meeting another magical being before this point. She was basically as capable as a muggleborn. God, why did that thought churn her stomach? "It may be wise to have you return to the wizarding world."
"To see my brother?" He patted her hand.
"All in due time."
Later while reviewing her letters, she found the names that perpetually running through her mind the last few hours. She had knew that she had seen some of these names before, and suddenly these entries in elegant script held much more meaning than previously.
1980:
Albus Dumbledore –
Titles: Headmaster at Hogwarts, Supreme Mugwump, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot
Allegiance: Hogwarts, International Confederation of Wizards, Ministry of Magic and Order of the Phoenix
Opinion: Trustworthy
The Fawley Family –
Titles: Purebloods, ex affiliation of Ministry of Magic due to resignation of Hector Fawley
Allegiance: Mixed. Haughty purebloods, but stood indifferent to the rise of The Dark lord, except for Janelle Fawley.
Opinion: Questionable
The Black Family-
Titles: Purebloods, Noble House of Black, Dark wizards
Allegiance: Mixed. A majority are Deatheaters and pureblood extremists, except Sirius Black. The only one not afraid to stand up for what was right.
Opinion: Hopefully redeemable
No question that, she gulped, Regulus had composed these various lists. But now, this one really did make an impact. The wrong crowd, the very one her and her apparent husband had fell in: Deatheaters.
(Current timeline: January 1996)
She shivered as the Dark Lord released her from her mind. He stood up and smiled down at her beaten body.
"You might be of some value yet." He gestured for Narcissa and Bellatrix to come closer. "Feed her and make sure she stays breathing. We will continue this get together at another time." He disappeared with a crack and Bellatrix let out of eerie laugh. Janelle twitched slightly hearing the familiar laugh. Her laughter had always led to something horrible.
"Cissy, let's get cleaned up and eat something. I'm absolutely ravished after today's events." Bellatrix cackled again before trouncing up the stone steps. Narcissa waited for her sister's silhouette to disappear before she waved her wand.
"Episkey." Narcissa whispered. Janelle moaned as her bones cracked, resetting themselves. What Janelle would kill for a glass of water, her lips were beyond chapped. But she was wheezed again, trying to chuckle. Who was she kidding? She was bound to die here. Narcissa kneed down next to Janelle's still bruised body, her brow furrowed. The poor girl was going to be tortured again and again until the Dark Lord was satisfied. A fate worse than death. If Narcissa had the courage she would put her cousin's poor wife out of her misery, but she did not. She had a family to think of, while Janelle did not. "I hadn't meant for our reunion to end with your demise. I am sorry Janelle."
"Cissy, leave the traitor be. We can feed her later." Bellatrix called from the floor above.
"Coming Bella." And like that Narcissa Malfoy was gone. Janelle was alone once again.
**I came back and added some dates to the first few chapters to alleviate some confusion about certain scenes. Everything after date should be of the same timeline, so if I put current, it is a present time until I indicate the past and so forth. Sorry if this explanation sucks.