A/N Hello! Here I am again with some juicy Fem!Ed heheee~ I just love writing about this pairing, like, seriously! Once I start I can't stop! I mean, this was supposed to be approximately 1,000 words but it turned out to be 5,000. I just adore them though ;o; Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm working on another one-shot with these two and it'll probably be long (estimated 9,000 words) but I'm not sure when I'll get to finish it (I've written about 2,000 words :3) because I'm slightly too absorbed with the multi-chapter fic with Fem!Ed/Roy that I'm writing. Soooo...it all depends on my muse, haha. For now, enjoy this x3 I'm kind of happy with it and it'd love to see what your opinions are so drop a review if you have time, kay? It really makes me happy when I see that people actually read my stuff. :3
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, yeah we know, we know.
IN THE RAIN
Roy was physically and mentally drained. How he had survived those striking ten hours of work – damn Hawkeye, making him work overtime – was beyond him. He had had a splitting headache ever since he had first arrived at Headquarters and now, in the dead of night as he was driving home, it only seemed to intensify.
His day in general had been going horribly; he had come to work late with a terrible hangover, hence his headache, only to have Hawkeye drop double the piles of paperwork on his desk than usual and when being informed about his headache responded coldly that it was all his fault and that she was not going to offer any sympathy whatsoever. After that, he had been forced, by the inhuman amount of paperwork and Hawkeye, to skip lunch and after that, at six o'clock, when he thought he was finally going to return to his hospitable abode, he was sternly told to complete all the paperwork first since most of the documents were due tomorrow. To add to Roy's torture, it was raining today. Hard.
Damn it all.
Sighing as he turned the vehicle around a corner, he honestly believed that his day couldn't get any worse. The universe always seemed to be working against him, however, as he saw a painfully familiar red coat swaying back and forth as the person wearing it was sauntering down the pavement. In the rain.
He nearly hit his head on the steering wheel, not even wanting to try to comprehend the blond's reasoning. Who was crazy enough to be out taking a stroll in such weather? The answer is Fullmetal.
He drove slowly next to the pavement until he caught a glimpse of Ed's face. He frowned; the blond looked troubled, frown seemingly stuck on his face, hands roughly shoved in his coat's pockets and the all too familiar guilty look swimming in his eyes. Something had happened.
He had honked his horn before he could even register his actions, and watched as Ed literally jumped out of his thoughts and spun around to face the car with a startled expression. The shock diminished though when he saw who it was – then, he scowled but Roy could also distinguish some sort of fear and reluctance in his eyes.
Roy rolled down the window so he could exchange some words with the blond alchemist, and maybe even offer him a ride back to the dorms, however tired he was, unwilling to let his subordinate catch a cold.
"What'd you want, bastard?" Ed inquired angrily, snappier than usual Roy noticed.
That got a sigh out of the older man. "Would you mind telling me why you're out here in the pouring rain?"
"Yes actually, I would," the blond snapped rudely, brushing Roy off and resuming his walk under the moonlight. Ed's feet made a splashing sound as they hit the ground, drenching his leather pants further. Roy sighed and followed next to him in the car, trying his best to ignore his throbbing head.
"Get in the car, Fullmetal. You're going to catch a cold."
"Well that's my problem, isn't it?" Now Ed's voice was almost casual and showing indifference, much to the puzzlement of Roy. Wasn't he trying to bite his head off just a few seconds ago?
"Get in the car, Fullmetal." Roy opted for using his commanding voice, indirectly telling Ed that he wasn't about to accept complaints and refusals. He wanted to know what was so bad that it would leave Ed in such a state.
Ed halted then and sighed heavily, reminding Roy of an old fellow who had survived hell and back and was now tired of life. Surprising Roy though, since he had been prepared for a fight, Ed complied and opened the door to the passenger seat where he sat, drenching the leather of the seat with mild satisfaction.
Once they were ready, Roy started driving once more, observing Ed from the corner of his eye as the blond leaned against the window and gazed outside with a faraway look, buried in his thoughts.
The silence stretched on, and soon Roy realised he was close to the dorms. "I'm taking you back to the dorms," he told Ed, a part of him urging him for some reason to inform the blond lest he want otherwise. Something had transpired, that much he was able to deduce, but he had no idea what, even though a small, trained part of him had its suspicions of it having something to do with Alphonse. Why else would Ed be out here on his own?
Upon hearing what Roy said, Ed turned to him with a pleading look and said in an equally pleading voice which made Roy raise his eyebrows, "Not the dorms."
Now he was really curious, his suspicions being proven correct little by little. "And why not?' he queried, his gaze strictly on the road as he changed destination, save for that little part of his eye that was trained on Ed.
The blond huffed and crossed his arms stubbornly, returning to staring out the window at the empty streets of Central. "None of your business."
Truthfully, Roy had expected such an answer and had his comeback ready. "If you're not going to tell me then I'm taking you back to the dorms."
Ed fell completely silent after that, and Roy stole a glance at him just to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep. What he saw though, baffled him. Ed was biting his lip hard, his face twisted into a frown as he glared at his fisted hands in his lap, thoughts battling in his head. He was actually considering telling Roy? Maybe what had transpired was worse than he thought.
"Al and I had a fight," came the tense and low reply, told through gritted teeth. Roy waited, should the blond want to elaborate without a nudge and watched as Ed huffed and crossed his arms, slumping in the seat. Roy could practically feel the unease the young man was feeling and his inner turmoil.
"Well?" Roy chose to prompt, not getting the complete answer he had been anticipating.
"And I left the dorms. That's why I don't wanna go back." Ed's tone was final, indirectly telling Roy that he would not speak further about this matter. But Roy was having none of it. He watched the road carefully as he drove them around in circles until he was satisfied with the information he would receive.
A few more moments of silence before Roy offered another prompt. "What was the fight about?" he asked lowly, not wanting to enrage the blond right now. Whatever had happened between the brothers seemed to have left the elder feeling incredibly guilty and Roy could only imagine what things the blond had yelled but did not mean.
Ed refused to speak, not even acknowledging Roy's presence anymore. Roy bit the inside of his cheek to refrain from snapping at him. He wasn't exactly known for his long attention span and he felt hard done by since he had actually shown interest in the younger man's problems. He could at least seem more appreciative. But then again, Edward never showed gratitude to him. He sometimes wondered if he was hated as much as he was told and what he could do to change that – though he supposed it was his fault he was on the receiving end of Ed's harsh treatment. He felt ridiculous for feeling like this, but sometimes, as he watched how Ed treated other people, people he cared about, he kind of sensed the beginnings of jealously in the pit of his stomach. Not that he would ever admit it, but it was just that he knew how caring Ed could be, and it sort of saddened him that he would never get to see that side of him.
He cast a sidelong glance at Edward, and sighed. "You'll feel better if you talk about it, you know." When Ed still didn't budge, he added, "I'm not going to judge you, if that's what you're worried about."
At his persistence, Ed seemed to crack. Heaving a sigh, he turned to Roy with tired eyes and then turned back to staring at his lap. "If it was anyone other than you…" he trailed off with another sigh and Roy pursed his lips, refusing to acknowledge the painful rejection he felt. He was aware of Ed's dislike towards him, but even at a time like this…? Perhaps the young man hated him after all, despite all the things he had used as excuses to reassure himself that Ed was just acting tough. He wasn't very keen on having a subordinate that despised him, but in spite of that he felt he utterly trusted Edward. He just knew that when the time came Ed wouldn't show insubordination – he'd be there, by his side. He'd done it before.
This person was so confusing, Roy concluded.
Then, as if to prove the point he just made, Ed jumped up in his seat, eyes wide and hands outstretched and waving in a negative manner. "T-that's not what I meant! Ah! I-It came out wrong…" As if realising what he had just done, he blushed embarrassedly and averted his gaze. "I just can't tell you 'cause you were kind of the subject of the fight, 'is all," Ed murmured and Roy raised his eyebrows, ignoring the relieved sensation inside him. He was the subject? They were fighting about something involving him? He frowned; all the more reason for him to know about it.
"Well, you can tell me. I promise I won't get angry." He tried to sound soothing but it really came out rougher than he had intended to; years in the military had hardened him that way and he was just incapable of being gentle anymore.
The gruff tone didn't seem to unnerve or perturb Ed in the slightest – he was probably used to it, Roy guessed with a wince – and he sighed dejectedly. Fiddling with his thumbs, he turned his golden gaze out the window to hide the faint blush. "Y-you see, I can't tell you, or I'm doing just what Al was forcing me to do."
Roy raised a brow at the blond's wavering voice but knew better than to comment on it. "So…" he started, "Alphonse wanted you to tell me…what you were fighting about? That doesn't make much sense…" That was what he concluded, for it really didn't make much sense to him – Alphonse wanted Ed to tell him they were fighting about…what they were fighting about? Yup, no sense there.
Ed flushed a sweet pink and shuffled awkwardly in the seat. "Y-yeah. You see…There has been something I was supposed to have told you ages ago – told everyone actually. I just…didn't want to, really. Al and I have had many fights over it over the years but never something as intense as this since back then he was still in the armour and we kind of needed it to…remain a secret."
Roy listened to the blond's story attentively, having had his curiosity piqued. Something he should've known about, but didn't? Alphonse wanting him to know while Ed was against it…Knowing the brothers, he supposed he should know about it, since Alphonse would never support something he knew was wrong. Ed on the other hand…
Belatedly realising Ed had trailed off, Roy gave him another push. "Continue, I'm listening."
The rain was hitting the car hard now, harder than before and Roy could barely make anything out in front of him from the intensity and the fog – the absence of sun wasn't helping either. Ed's hair and clothes were still dripping, and he would consider it a miracle if the blond didn't get sick. How long had he been out in the rain anyway?
Ed blushed and glared stubbornly at his lap as he resumed telling him. "Well, Al told me that since he was back in his body and I had my arm back that I should at least…tell you, since you've really h-helped us and, well, you don't deserve being lied to anymore but I objected because I…didn't know how you'd react."
Lied to? His features twisted into a thoughtful frown as he pondered that. The brothers had lied to him about something? As much as he tried, he couldn't help the nagging feeling that this was something big; the brothers didn't have a fight like that every day, they were too close for that. All this thinking seemed to intensify his headache and he craved some sort of pill that would numb the pain. He tried to ignore his aching head though, since he had more important things to focus on right now.
"What is it?" He grimaced at the way his voice sounded slightly accusing, but at the same time curious. He took a sharp turn and was back in front of Headquarters again – from there, he started driving back down the road he had so before.
Ed bit his lip and squirmed in his seat anxiously. "I-I can't say," he murmured and glanced at Roy from under his fringe. Alright, now, Roy was beginning to get irritated. The blond had told him he had lied to him and now he was still refusing to tell him about what? That was unfair. At least one of the brothers seemed to show gratitude for what he'd done for them.
"Tell me, Fullmetal." Giving his annoyance away, his voice came out authoritative and caused the younger male to moan in distaste. Well, there was nothing he could do to stop it. It was Ed's fault; Roy had been willing to go about it the soft and easy way but Ed always wanted the hard way so now he'd have it.
"Promise you won't hate me." The seriousness in Ed's tone alarmed Roy, and he couldn't help his mind from coming up with all sorts of things the brothers could have lied about. There were so many actually, that even he was left dumbfounded by his thoughts. Even the most ludicrous of things…
He took a deep breath and contemplated his response. He didn't want to assure the young man he wouldn't hate him and then when the lie was revealed to him he kicked him out of the car and didn't speak to him again. He needed to be ready to accept the lie and try to fathom the reason behind it.
Roy honestly didn't think he could hate him though; they had spent too long together for that. Ed was nineteen now, and Roy had met him when he was eleven. Eight years was a long time.
"I won't hate you," he assured the blond with a sombre nod.
Ed stared at his face for a moment, as if looking for any trace of doubt, before seemingly accepting his fate and taking a deep breath.
"I…" he started. "The lie is…about me." Hair obscuring his face from view, Roy could only speculate what his expression was. Being aware of Ed's eyes on him though, he nodded in acceptance and for the blond to continue.
"Well…" he gave it another go, and gulped. "First of all, my name is not Edward."
Of all the things he had been thinking about, this was not it.
The air in the car shifted dramatically into something tense and suffocating and it seemed like both of the alchemists were holding their breath. Roy felt his grip on the stirring wheel tighten. He was aware of Ed's piercing stare on him, waiting for another nod to show his acceptance and tell Ed to go on, but Roy needed some time to process the words that had come out of the blond's mouth. Edward – or whatever he was called, he thought in horror – had lied about his name? And he had said 'first of all'. Did that mean there was more to this lie? Why would he even come up with a different name for himself? Roy dreaded the answers to all the questions currently crossing his mind. He really didn't like where this was going.
"Mustang?" The tentative voice snapped him out of his reverie, and he was rather grateful for it.
"And what's your name then?" His voice came out cold, unemotional. He wasn't angry, even though he guessed his tone told the blond otherwise, but that was what happened to his voice when he wasn't sure how he was supposed to react, what he was supposed to feel – his voice was stripped of all emotion and it was up to the listener to determine his feelings.
He couldn't even bring himself to look at Ed – again, he wasn't angry, he just didn't know how to deal with the situation right now, something that almost never happened to him. His face as blank as a sheet of paper, he awaited Ed's response.
"Well," the blond started once again, trying to put some fire in his voice but failing miserably. "My name…" He chuckled nervously and Roy braced himself. "My name's Edeline."
Time seemed to stop for Roy as he took in the new information. Edeline…Wasn't that a…"Isn't that a girl's name?" he blurted out before he could help himself. Perhaps this did make sense if he thought about it; Ed having been given a girl's name despite being a guy and being too embarrassed about it so he changed it…Well, if that was the reason then he would rather laugh with him about it; he would have totally done the same if that was the case. However, the nagging feeling was eating away at him – he had his suspicions it wasn't so easy. And he supposed Alphonse wouldn't have made such a big deal out of it either. He seriously wished this was the case though.
Ed emitted another nervous chuckle and scratched the back of his neck with his arm. He pursed his lips afterwards but then decided that worrying his lower lip would be a better alternative. Roy couldn't help but notice that he was still dripping wet. The rain was still pounding hard against the roof of the car and making it almost impossible to see.
"Yes, it is…"
Roy regained some of his senses and managed to form a coherent question. "So what; you're a boy with a girl's name? Pretty embarrassing, huh?"
Ed chose to glare at him then and, frankly, he was glad for the action – it was something he was so familiar with it was almost comforting. Then, he snorted – another familiar action – before saying, "No, you moron. I am a girl!"
Roy's breath got caught in his throat. He couldn't help it; he burst out laughing before his mind could even process what Ed had said properly. His head was killing him but that didn't hinder his uncontrollable chuckles. Obviously not having expected such a response, Ed stared at him, dumbfounded, as he tried telling if his commanding officer was missing a few screws. Once he gathered his wits, he graced Roy with the greatest glare he could muster.
The raven haired man wiped the tears of laughter out of his eyes, still a few chuckles escaping him despite his attempts to suppress them. "You–" he started, pointing at the enraged and offended blond next to him, "–female?" He pursed his lips to refrain from laughing again before smirking in amusement and saying, "I don't think so."
Waving a hand dismissively at the red-faced woman next to him, he said, his voice laced with amusement, "Good one, Fullmetal. I have to say, you nearly got me there."
Ed had gone silent next to him and it took Roy exactly three minutes for the situation to dawn on him and for Ed's words to actually sink in. His eyes widened in horror as he continued driving, and he stole a glance next to him to the blond, who had hung his head and was staring at his ungloved hands in his lap, looking utterly defeated – a rare sight, Roy mused.
The thought that Ed had not been kidding at all hit him like a ton of bricks and he felt as if he had been punched in the stomach. Despite the news he had just been told, he felt rather guilty for laughing. But then again, all this was so absurd. It was ludicrous! Ed didn't act like a girl at all and he couldn't…he couldn't picture it. Looking back at the blond, he only just realised that he had taken his coat off and braid out, leaving slightly curly blond locks to flow over his shoulders.
Had Ed's hair always been this long?
Ed had thrown the coat on the floor by his feet, and Roy took in his arms, which, unlike Alphonse, were not thick with muscle but rather…small and thin. He thought it weird, taking into consideration all the exercise he had done, what with all the fighting and running all around the country. Trailing downwards, he stared at slender fingers, intertwined with each other and squeezing so hard the knuckles had turned white. Roy bit his lip. Ed had always looked like a girl and he recalled times he had teased him about it, and he remembered how offended he used to get, much to his amusement. He had never thought of the possibility that…it indeed was a girl in front of him.
Well, shit. Now he felt like a total ass.
"Um…" he started awkwardly. What was he supposed to say now? Apologise? But, what did Ed expect? Roy had always viewed…her…like a boy and he hated to admit this so cruelly but it was her fault he had even reacted like this. If she had told him she was a girl from the start things could've been…better. He wouldn't have laughed, that's for sure.
Almost halting the car completely, Roy leaned forward slightly in an attempt to catch a glimpse of Ed's face. He frowned. She had become stone still and her utter silence unnerved Roy a little. She was literally making no noise whatsoever, not even her breathing was audible, and it made Roy feel like he was in the car with a corpse or something. He needed to break the silence or he honestly felt himself losing it.
"I…I believe you." It wasn't exactly the smartest thing to say, but what was, in a situation like this?
"You can drive back to the dorms now," she said quietly, ignoring his statement and making Roy bite his lip slightly. "I did it; I told you, now Al will be happy. Just…don't tell anyone, ok?" Her voice was so monotonous it was like she had blocked all emotion from seeping in – and that was exactly what she had done, Roy realised.
"I won't tell," he reassured her without even thinking about it. He didn't know if that was the smartest course of action but that was what he'd do. He wouldn't tell. He didn't know why, but he felt almost compelled to keep the blonde's secret exactly that; a secret.
Slamming his foot on the accelerator, Roy drove to the dorms, albeit as slowly as possible because, even though he didn't like the tense atmosphere which was currently dominant in the car, he certainly felt like there was something more to be said between them. He didn't know what, but he felt like the conversation hadn't ended.
"So, is that all you had to tell me?"
Edeline nodded silently, and Roy hummed in response.
"Would you mind telling me why you lied in the first place?" He knew he was treading on thin ice here but he guessed that she did owe him an explanation.
Ed shrugged, her face still out of his field of vision. "I guess I just don't like being a girl that much."
Roy frowned at her confession, rather perplexed. Ed was full of surprises today. "Why not?"
Ed's voice was soft, barely audible as she replied. "It makes me feel weak when I'm not." Just as Roy had opened his mouth to reply, Ed cut him off, her voice this time holding a little of the familiar emotion - anger. "Don't get the wrong idea; there is absolutely nothing wrong with the female gender. If anything we're more badass than you guys will ever be." Roy raised an eyebrow at that, not having heard anything like that come from Ed before. "It's just that...I hate the discrimination. If you've read the military rules, you'll see that female State Alchemists are forbidden."
Roy nodded, he knew that and now that she had reminded him all this 'lying about her gender' somehow made much more sense. Back then Ed had truly needed that pocket watch - it granted her access to the libraries and to many other things the military usually kept under wraps. It was the only chance she had at getting Alphonse's body back, and he knew that if she had told him she was female back then while sitting on that wheelchair, he would've left her in Risembool, however cruel that might seem to him now. That's what he would've done, and he knew it.
Before he could get another word out, she was speaking again. "I didn't know you back then; to me, you looked just like any other military dog who would give away my identity without a second thought. Al had agreed with me back then as well - it was best that we hid my real identity. I mean, I can pass for a boy, I already act like one and you thought I was one when you met me; it was the perfect chance. So we lied. Over the years though Al started to trust you more and thought we could entrust you with the secret, I wasn't so sure...but now I am. As I said before, the only reason I didn't tell you was because I didn't know how you'd react. It's not like I don't trust you or anything..."
Roy could tell she was feeling embarrassed she had rambled so much, but he felt thoroughly satisfied with her meticulous explanation. Now he felt like he could understand her more, and he could totally see why they lied to him; the day he had found them they had been mere children who were reluctant to trust a random stranger who at the time had been ready to use them as a means for promotion. It just happened that he had become really fond of them in the end. Moreover, he just couldn't help the warm feeling inside his chest when Edeline had said she trusted him. Maybe she didn't actually hate him. He probably just pissed her off. Oups.
He could see the dorms in the distance now and once he got close enough the car started coming to a halt. Ed put on her coat and waited until the vehicle came to a complete stop. Roy waited for her to exit, but when she remained seated he turned his body to face her and nudged her gently with his hand, brushing a few golden locks out of her face in the process before saying, "We're here."
Then, Edeline took a deep and shaky breath and spun around abruptly, placed her hands on either side of his face and smashed their lips together with her eyes squeezed shut. Roy, taken aback, could only sit there with his eyes wide in disbelief, his hands placed awkwardly on her arms as they had instinctively tried to block the 'attack' at the last second. Her lips were soft and they brushed gently against his, despite the firm way they had been locked together. The kiss lasted only a few seconds, and then Edeline pulled away, her face flushed red.
She glared at him and pointed at his stunned face with her index finger. "That's for laughing, you bastard!"
She pulled her hood over her head and without another word hopped out of the car and ran all the way to the building in the pouring rain, before opening the door and disappearing inside, leaving a wide-eyed, slightly flushed Roy to sit in the car. His hands lowered from their position on Ed's arms and he blinked. His body relaxed from its rigid position and, he hesitantly raised a hand, fingers brushing the place where her lips had rested moments before.
Confusing person indeed, was the only thing swimming in his mind right then.
