Hi, there. I've had the idea to write the Reimagining of Arthur for a long while now. Seriously. I think I started thinking about it about half a year ago. The actual show started in October 1996, so this reimagined series starts in August 2006. Also, following the whole parody theme of the show, there's some popular websites in this series. Owned by me, we've got Facelook [Facebook], Floogle [Google], EFN [MSN], ePay [eBay], and Quickipedia [Wikipedia]. Okay, have fun!
It is the last day of the last week of summer vacation for the kids in Elwood City. Ten-year-old Emily Lengies is spending time with her parents in Japan. She's about to start fifth grade, back home with her French nanny Marie Helene. Timmy and Tommy Tibble live with their grandma. They are very destructive, Timmy moreso. James Macdonald is shy and nerdy. DW Read is a girly girl, constantly listening to music. DW has a seven-year-old sister Kate. She's going to start second grade, but doesn't have many friends, preferring books to people.
DW and Kate also have a thirteen, nearly fourteen-year-old brother Arthur. He's going to be starting high school this year. He's been taking piano lessons since he was very young, but he is pretty much an average kid. His best friend of almost a decade Buster Baxter is an only child. He writes his own jokes, cooks his own meals and plays the tuba. He also acts like an amateur private detective, as that is his goal when gets older. Buster's next closest friend is Frankie Frensky. Her real name is Francine and she has a twenty-two-year-old sister Catherine who takes online college courses. She doesn't mind playing dirty but she would never cheat. She's been playing soccer for the past seven years. She also sings and plays the drums – though not simultaneously.
Frankie's best friend is Muffy Crosswire. The two are practically opposites. Muffy can be pretty haughty, arriving to school in a limo and taking credit for other people's work. She also has an older brother Chip, but he's rarely in town. Brain Powers is another classmate. He could've skipped a grade numerous times, but he's not too good with change. Unable to see the people he knows in his classes would simply be too much for him. He needs concrete evidence for all assumptions in life, and he plays the cello. George Lundgren is an amateur ventriloquist who has trouble in school. He is very much an introvert unless his puppet Wally is speaking for him.
Fern Walters is an author. She has her name in several poetry books, but her low self-esteem can't bring her to publish any novels. Like Buster, she enjoys playing the role of amateur detective – but for different reasons. She likes to fill the role to help her write. Jenna Morgan is an introvert as well. She's lactose intolerant and suffers from Nocturnal enuresis. While being introverted, and hating to be center of attention, Jenna is the star of the badminton court. Prunella Deegan is a wannabe fortune telling yogi obsessed with a book series called Henry Skreever. She is fifteen, going to tenth grade. Her older sister Rubella is Catherine's best friend. She's a drama queen.
Binky Barnes grew up with Prunella as a sort of frenemy until he failed fourth grade. Repeating it, he's become a bully to the kids in his grade. Secretly, he knows how to play the clarinet and dance ballet. He also grew up with James's older sister Molly Macdonald, who is also going to tenth grade. They're still close. She has an anonymous online advice column and she has a job as a babysitter whenever she needs some extra money. Binky and Molly are members of a rebellion group called Tough Customers. Rattles is a Jersey kid, and another Tough Customer.
Here lately, Arthur has been having problems with his vision. After a trip to the optometrist, it's become apparent that Arthur needs glasses. With David busy at work, Jane takes all three kids for Arthur's new glasses. After about ten minutes of trying different frames, he decides on nice, average brown circle ones. When he comes out to show his sisters, Kate is indifferent. She barely glances up from her book. DW, on the other hand, starts laughing.
"Four-Eyed Arthur!"
"Don't start, DW." He groans, mentally slapping himself.
"I haven't even started." She grins. "Four eyes! Look like your still sleeping! Four eyes! Look like you're dead! Four eyes! Where have you been keeping yourself? Look like you've been whupped upside the head!"
"That's enough, Dora Winifred." Jane comments, rounding the corner after paying.
She shrugs. "Can I go get my hair done?"
"Hair done?" Jane raises an eyebrow.
"Yeah." She nods. "Just drop me off at the shop in town. There's this awesome style I wanna try. And Kate needs a new 'do too. Don't you, Kate?"
"Yeah." She mutters, absent-mindedly, not paying attention.
"Alright." Jane gives in. "But Arthur's coming with you."
DW and Arthur start protesting, but Jane isn't letting up. A quick drive later, the three kids are dropped off at the Elwood City Beauty & Barber Shop. As soon as the car is out of sight, Arthur turns to his sisters.
"I'll be at the movies to catch the latest Bionic Bunny. Just meet back here in two hours, okay?"
"Sure, Four-Eyes." DW shrugs. She hadn't wanted him to stick around.
"I'll be at the library." Kate almost whispers, walking away.
The kids separate easily. Kate's nose is still in the book, but she knows exactly how to get to the library. DW goes inside to get her hair done alongside Prunella and a long-haired teen boy she doesn't recognize. Before Arthur can cross the street, he runs into Frankie and Muffy.
"What's that on your face?" Muffy frowns at the new glasses.
Frankie just starts laughing before resorting to the same song DW had been singing earlier. "Four eyes! Look like you're still sleeping! Four eyes! Look like you're dead! Four eyes! Where have you been keeping yourself? Look like you've been whupped upside the head!"
"Har, har." Arthur rolls his eyes. "Are you done?"
"You're no fun." Frankie lightly shoves him. "And I'm nowhere near done. In fact,"
"Yes, she's done." Muffy pulls on Frankie's arm pointedly. "We've got to get her hair done. And get her in a dress."
"A dress?"
"Shut, up, Four Eyes."
Arthur shrugs and crosses the street so he can get to the movies on time. The girls walk into the beauty shop, and Muffy goes directly to the back table.
"Miss Crosswire." The woman greets her. "Are you here for another seaweed bath?"
"Actually, no. I need my hair highlighted and braided. Plus a mani-pedi. And a new hairstyle for my friend."
The woman looks Frankie over with mild disgust. "Yes, the little Frensky girl. Come to the back. We'll get started right away."
[-+-LINEBREAK-+]
The next morning, school begins. DW has a wind-blown look with bright pink tinted tips. She wears a bright pink jumper with darker pink tights and Mary Janes. Kate has her hair in a baby blue bow clip. She's wearing a pale pink hand-me-down top and jeans. They climb aboard the bus to Lakewood Elementary. Arthur, on the other hand, begins his trek to Lakewood High. He's wearing a yellow long-sleeved tee and jeans.
On the way to school, he rounds up Buster (wearing a turquoise Bionic Bunny long-sleeved tee and jeans), Frankie (with curly hair, wearing a maroon long-sleeved tee and jeans), Brain (wearing a gray sweater vest and olive green slacks), and Fern (with red bow clips in her hair, wearing a purple tee and yellow pants). Fern and Brain strike up a conversation about their schedules as the group comes across Prunella by the library.
"Y'know, there's only two homeroom teachers for freshmen. Who'd you get?"
"Ratburn." It's the unanimous answer.
Prunella lets out a small cackle. "Sucks to be you, then. He's the toughest teacher you could get."
"Aw, great." Frankie smacks her head. "More homework!"
"You'll be bearing down on your pencils so hard taking notes, that you'll draw blood. And he'll smell it. And he'll call you out and rip your head off if you try to do something else." Prunella taunts the younger teenagers. "Hell, Ratburn eats screws and nails for breakfast. You dopes won't last a week!"
Prunella crosses the street, leaving the fresh meat kids gaping at her. The thoughts of what she said about their new teacher have startled them. It's the one class they all have together. Finally, they regain their balance and begin walking to school at a much slower pace. They're quiet, but their minds are loud.
The lunch bell rings. All the kids move from their seats, but Ratburn forces them to sit back down. He orders them to lift up their desks, and they do so. Inside is a bowl of screws and nails in milk. Fern looks down at her hand to find a spoon at the ready. He's going to force the class to eat it.
Fern jolts a little in her pace, but she just keeps her eyes forward.
"What is that smell?" Ratburn rhetorically asks the class. No one says a word, just looking from one person to another. Brain shakes in his seat, feeling the wrath of the teacher's glare. "Ah, I know what it is." The teacher is directly behind Brain's desk. He stops to sniff the air and lets a clammy hand drop to Brain's shoulder. "It's the stench of failure! You're all getting Fs!"
Brain shakes his head, reminding himself that teachers can't just fail students with no regard. He keeps walking.
Algebra is very boring, so Buster is working on a comic strip with his own characters and jokes in the margins. He has it hidden beneath his class work so it looks like he's writing his notes. Unfortunately, it makes him look like the only student paying full attention. Ratburn asks him to stand up and read the notes to the class. When he can't, Ratburn snatches the paper up. Suddenly, the man turns into a terrible alien creature. With his tentacles, he grabs Buster off the ground. A limb wraps around his head.
Buster lets out an involuntary gasp. He carefully pats himself down, assured when he finds everything in its proper place.
The class is writing a lot of notes. Ratburn is mercilessly stringing everything together like a motor mouth. He doesn't stop to take a breath. Everyone's pencils and papers are generating smoke. Frankie and Arthur are worried when their papers break, but they just continue writing on the desks. They ground their pencils into the desk. Frankie's desk catches on fire and she runs around screaming. Arthur cuts his hand, and Ratburn grows fangs. He smiles maliciously; leaning over Arthur's desk while Frankie falls through the upstairs classroom window.
The teenagers break from their reverie. They've just arrived at the school and the warning bell sounds. Nervously, they glance between one another. Their first class is homeroom, like everyone else in the school. Their first class is with the motor mouth, screw-and-nail-eating, head-ripping, failure-giving merciless Mr. Nigel Ratburn.
Let me know how you like it! Already covering about two and a half episodes in the first chapter, in case you haven't noticed. Happy New Year!