Sometimes your body takes you places that you never really planned on going.
In this case, i planned , Rosalie and Alice planned it, and i stupidly went along with it.
Even after two years i still hate myself for what i did. Even if i wasn't alone in the plotting, my two best friends helped. My two Ex best friends. The "EX" being my fault. I knew they were only trying to knew how long and how much i wanted him, and to be fair, they really thought he felt the same for me.I had no right to be angry with them, i agreed to everything they planned..i even wore the stupid lingerie they bought me. Still, i was angry,i am still angry
They called every day for almost a year after i left, but i never answered.I couldn't. Eventually i changed my cell number when it started to hurt to much to see their numbers on my caller i.d. I deleted every unread text, and only listened to a few of the many voice mail messages they left. Alice cried in every one, begging me to answer, or begging me to come back. I felt guilty every time i heard a message she left. It hurt to hear her in so much yelled in every message she left. I knew her very well though, her tough exterior was only a cover. She hated to be vulnerable, and the only way she knew how to deal with things was by yelling. She had a heart of gold underneath it all. I found her yelling at me to quit being so stubborn and stupid, more endearing then cry's.
He called twelve times in the first year. I never answered. After the first few weeks, i wanted to answer. I wanted tot ease the worries of my closest friends. I wanted tot explain why i had left, and why i couldn't come back, but as each day passed, it got harder and harder to bring myself to try. I knew i was being a stupid, immature kid, but i didn't know how to fix it.
I knew they felt guilty, and i wanted to hug the pain they felt of loosing their best friend away. I wanted to call them up and explain i didn't leave because i blamed them, i didn't. I was too ashamed and embarrassed, and i was too immature to deal with anything or anyone after.I handled things horribly, and i hated myself because of it. So i left, without an explanation. Without a goodbye.
I was a different person now. I wasn't the kind of girl who ran away. I was strong, independent, and i grew some fucking . I was my own person, and i was confident in who i was.
I heard the flight attendants voice overhead, and the seat belt light flashed over my head. I wondered what the reactions of my old friends would be Monday at school. I expected mixed reactions, all involving anger. Oh yeah, i expected huge amounts of anger.I couldn't blame them, but i also wouldn't take anyone's shit. I wasn't the same Bella anymore, and everyone would know it.
As the plane landed in Forks, i couldn't help but remember. Remember the events that led me to leave the home i was now returning to...