GIRL'S NIGHT OUT 2:
EIGHT GUYS AND A BABY
By
Vanguard Ziggy
Author's notes: Okay, true I haven't heard that much about my comedy story, but hey I just had so much fun, I had to try another one. This time the poor guys are stuck babysitting a little rug rat. Once again, if you want to comment on the story, please do so.
"I don't see what the big deal is, we'll only be gone for a day," Shion said as she held a little girl, a tiny angel with light strawberry blonde hair, wearing a cute pinkish white dress. Her small blue eyes glimmered in the light as the young Vector science officer rocked her.
Jr. rose to his feet and blinked into space, "Hey, wait just a minute, are you planning to stick us with the baby?" The women had called a meeting an hour ago. The men thought that they were going to discuss what to do next after the victory over Albedo a week ago. Instead they brought in a tiny little package, and announced that they were going to go shopping for the day, and they needed a babysitter for Miyuki's little cousin.
"That's crazy, we're men, what do we know about raising a child," Tony wailed, leaping to his feet as if stung in the butt by a wasp.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the chairman of the prehistoric moron's convention," Captain Matthews said, waving his arms in Tony's direction. The pilot glared at his captain, but sat down as he found the room laughing at him, instead of opening his mouth to say something else.
"Aside from his stupid remark, Tony does have a point," Gaignun said very solemnly. "A baby is a full time responsibility."
"So, you're all responsible men," Momo said, looking around the room, frowning as she looked at Tony and Allan. "Well most of you are anyway."
Tony and Allan shot to their feet like synchronized swimmers in a pool, and cried out in unison, "Hey!"
"Besides, I'm sure at least one of you would make a good father figure," Momo continued cheerily.
"At any rate, it's been decided. After what you went through, you guys need a vacation," Shelley said. "As a matter of fact, so do we. That's why we're going to do a light bit of shopping."
"Why can't we do the shopping and you watch the baby?" Hammer asked with a bored demeanor.
"Are you kidding us?" Shion asked with a laugh. She looked at the other girls with a smile and turned back to the guys, frowning at their blank faces. "No, seriously, you are kidding right?"
"What's wrong with us doing the shopping?" chaos asked with a smile.
"Two words, Zeus II," Mary said with a sigh. "You all remember that little incident?"
The guys lowered their eyes and groaned collectively. Gaignun still hadn't gotten over the electric sponge bather scenario, and he silently shuddered. He still couldn't look at either Jr. or Ziggy the same way he had before.
The women stood up and turned toward the door, "Oh come on, you'll be fine," Shion said, "She's just a little person what harm could she do?"
"Now wait just a damn minute," the red haired U.R.T.V. snapped.
"Have fun you guys," the women sang in chorus, minus KOS-MOS. However, the female android couldn't help but feel there was a dynamic situation of comedy filling the room, She smiled, nodded to the men, and followed the other women.
As they watched the women go, the eight men stood, jaws dropped in shock, until in a collective gasp of disgust filled with testosterone ire, they groaned two short words,
"Oh crap."
It had barely been an hour later, and the peace that the tiny person was supposed to be bringing had yet to come. Myuki had called her cousin a little angel, but the fact of the matter was the baby was anything but angelic. The name Demona would have fit her better than Angelena. The only time she was an "angel" was when she was asleep.
She hated Captain Matthews, even though he tried to show her the finer things in adult life, like the Makai Races on Pelioa XIII, or the prize fights held in Helipix Hotel and Casino, both of which had cost him and arm and a leg for pay per view, and neither had made the baby happy. Hell the kid slapped the bottle out of her mouth when he had tried to feed her and it landed on his one lottery ticket. And on top of that, she'd pushed the button on the remote when he had been watching the Seraphim Sisters, and recorded over the tape, leaving the ending credits only to remain. The other men hadn't faired so well either.
Gaignun sat in his chair, going over important notes, his left hand resting on a coffee mug, when the door burst open, and Jr. stormed in with a wailing "angel". His hair was strung about and his eyes had so many bags under them that he looked like a mummy.
The combination of the duo bursting through the door and the wailing of the baby caused Gaignun to leap from his chair, knocking over the mug of red hot coffee onto his custom made pants. "Ah shit," he roared dancing around like a crazy clown with carnivorous ants throwing a fiesta in his pants. "What the hell are you doing?" he screamed, the baby throwing herself in the smaller chief of the Foundation at the sound of the angry voice.
"Keep your voice down, you're scaring her," Jr. snapped. "Anyway it's your turn to watch her." He handed the little girl to the larger C.E.O. and began to walk away.
"I have things to do, I just can't take care of a baby. Besides, I've been up all last night and I haven't had time to sleep."
"Then the two of you should have something in common, because neither has she. I almost had her asleep, but then I had a tickle in the back of my throat, and even though I tried, I coughed. Now not only is she awake, but she has the hiccups and a mild case of diarrhea," he smiled and looked at his "younger brother", "have fun."
"You can't do this to me, I sign the pay cheeks around here Rubedo," Gaignun snarled as the smaller U.R.T.V. walked out the door. His "older brother" turned and smiled at him with his devilish grin.
"And I belong to the committee that decides whether or not those cheeks actually get sent out, so excuse me for being sure of myself, but I think that I'm pretty much safe from that threat." He yawned and stretched as wide as he could. "Now if you excuse me, I'm going to catch a few hours of rest." Before the taller U.R.T.V. could say anything, Jr. had disappeared through the door.
Gaignun frowned as he looked at the little wailing figure, and shook his head. "Now what am I supposed to do with you?" he groaned. The girl looked up at him, grinned for a second and then opened her mouth wide to let loose a flood of partially digested minced carrots. "Oh Jesus," Gaignun growled, nearly dropping the baby as he took a step backwards. He plopped the girl on the ground and snarled. "You what this is?" he asked, pointing to his suite, "This is a Miltian Corpori suit. It costs me two thousand Federation credits just to have it cleaned!"
The girl looked at him and burst out with a wave of contagious giggles. She waved her arms in the air and made the sound of seemed like what a cow might have made, if cows were not extinct animals in this century. Gaignun sighed and removed his suit, tossing it onto a light blue couch. "The girls are going to owe me big time for this." He looked down at the girl and shook his head. "You stay here; I'm going to find something to clean you off." He turned and walked into his bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
Allan and chaos punched in the buttons to Gaignun's door and walked into the room. It was neat, just as it always was, with his triple sized bed for himself and Mary and Shelley, Tony had tried to find one for himself, but there was no woman who would share it with him, no matter how hard he tried to get them, any of them or any other woman to join him.
"Gaignun, sir. You asked us to come and get some clothes to send to the cleaners?" chaos asked. He frowned and walked further into the room. "Gaignun?"
"The suit is on my couch," Gaignun said, who had called for someone to pick up from the bathroom. "Just watch out for the baby."
Allan and chaos looked around both wearing frowns on their faces. "Do you see her anywhere?" Allan asked chaos.
The other young man shrugged as he did a quick surveillance of the room. "Maybe he finally got her to sleep and doesn't want us to wake her."
"But where is she?" Allan asked more hesitantly.
"Gaignun's apartment is huge Allan. He even has his own kitchen, and two bathrooms, one for him and one for the girls. I'm sure he must have put her into one of the spare rooms to nap." The young, white haired man bent down and lifted the suit from the floor, grunting at its weight. "How much do these things normally weigh?"
"They're not within my budget, so how in heaven should I know?" Allan said with a sigh. "Anyway the longer we stay here, the better the chance we have in waking her up, and the even greater the chance that Gaignun might have us take her with us." He shuttered, he already had so much spit up on him from the baby that he was thinking of opening up a slime factory and selling the stuff at retail price to kids. Kids liked gross stuff to play with right?
The two men struggled with the jacket out of the room, down the hall, out of the living quarters, and into the shuttle that would take it to the Kukai Foundation and to the cleaners. After the shuttle departed chaos sighed and shook his head. "Why do I have a feeling that something is about to go wrong?"
"I thought that was my line," Allan said, frowning as the gray and blue shuttle left for the Foundation.
An hour later a communications call came in on Jr.'s phone, waking the U.R.T.V. from a dead sleep. The red headed male rose to his feet, wiping his eyes and slowly picking up the phone. "Yeah?"
"Jr., do you have the baby?" Gaignun's horrified voice came over the line, his voice so harsh and shrieking that it sounded like fingernails grating on a chalkboard.
"I've been asleep since I dropped her off at your place," the older U.R.T.V. snarled. "Why are you asking me anyway?"
Gaignun was younger than Jr. and yet had the reasoning of someone much older some times. He was an immensely strong model of the U-DO Retro-Virus, however; even he had moments of panic. "She threw up on my suit, and I had Allan and chaos take it to the Foundation for cleaning. She was supposed to be on the floor, but when I came out, she was gone."
Jr. felt his eyes nearly pop out of his sockets. "You lost the baby?" he screamed. Jr. clutched the handle of the communicator as if it were his "brother's" throat.
"I thought Allan and chaos took her with them, but they said she was gone by the time they came to my apartment. I don't know where she went."
"Oh, this is just perfect," Jr. groaned. He looked up at his clock, hanging from the left side of his room, surrounded by books and antique guns. He grit his teeth and cursed under his breath. "The girls are going to be back in half an hour, we have to find that baby now."
Gaignun sighed and told Jr. to hold on a moment, as another call rang on the other line. A moment later he was back, his voice so high pitched Jr. now thought he was talking to a preadolescent girl. "We have a bigger problem. Ziggy just called and told me that the baby was no where on the ship. We've done a scan of the entire place."
"Oh damnation," Jr. roared. "Okay, okay, let's not panic. If she's not on board the Durandal then she must have snuck aboard the shuttle for the Kukai Foundation."
"She can't even crawl," Gaignun roared. "She can only roll. And I think a large percentage of people would discover a rolling baby going up a ramp to the Foundation, wouldn't you?"
"So then she might have accidentally been put on the shuttle," Jr. reasoned. Then a wave of fear hit him like a load of bricks. "Oh crap, I bet she was in your suit when the guys took it." He heard Gaignun gasp, and knew his suspicion was true.
"That's why the suit was too heavy according to the guys." There was a long silent pause, and then another violent gasp. "If she's down there in the cleaning shop," he began.
"And the girls are also down there too," Jr. continued with a shutter. "Oh crap we've got to get down there, fast!"
The men traveled as quickly as they could to the Foundation, stopping first at the cleaners. And immediately ran into bad luck.
"What do you mean you don't know what happened to my suit?" Gaignun roared, pounding his fist on the counter. "I've been sending my clothes here for over ten years, and there's never been a problem before."
The woman standing before him bit her lips and began fidgeting with her fingers. "Sir, I'm sorry, but we just didn't get any shipments in today." She tapped in a couple of buttons and shook her strawberry blonde head. "No sir, there have been no shipments of clothes from the Durandal since last month."
"Maybe we got here early?" chaos asked, as he turned to Gaignun.
"How the hell could we? The shuttle left for the Foundation an hour in a half ago. It takes the shuttle at least ten minutes to arrive at the Foundation, and that's if the Durandal is dislodged from it, which we currently are not. Unloading items and such would take only twenty minutes at most, and shipping them to the stores they're supposed to go to would take another fifteen minutes. They should have just got fifty minutes ago."
"The shuttle did land, we know that from our records," chaos said, looking over at his notes. "Tony, Jr. and Ziggy looked around it just five minutes ago and reported that they didn't find anything." He looked up and gasped, "Sir, we might have more to worry about than the baby right now."
"What could go wrong now," Gaignun sighed. chaos put his hand on his bosses shoulder, and pointed out of the window. Both men's eyes grew wide. Outside the window was Momo and Shelley were walking passed the clothes store. "Ah shit," the leader of the Foundation snapped.
"It gets worse, sir," chaos groaned, pointing at a shopping cart Momo was pushing. Gaignun looked at the cart and nearly shit his pants as he spied his dirty suit in it. But that wasn't all. A tiny little pink hand pushed up through the clothes and waved bye- bye to the two confused men. Lucky neither of the women realized what was under the suit.
"That's right, those two ladies came in and said that they would clean the suit themselves, just as it came in," the merchant said with a renewed enthusiasm. She giggled and nodded to the two men. "Sorry, I'm a little forgetful. The reason I didn't put it in the records was because they took the suit so soon after it came here."
"Thanks for nothing," Gaignun snarled turning his back on the woman. "chaos, we're going. Maybe if we're lucky enough, we can get the suit and the baby from the girls before they notice they've got her."
chaos sighed and lowered his head, "I've got a sinking feeling this is not going to end well."
"I don't see why we don't just tell the girls that we lost the baby, and that they've got her by accident," Ziggy said walking the boardwalk on Gaignun's private beach.
"Are you sure you've been with us since the beginning," Jr. groaned. "You do know what's going to happen if they find out don't you?"
"When we had to clean the ships the last time we got in trouble with the girls my hands got so sore I thought they were going to fall right off." Allan groaned and rubbed his hands. "No telling what they'd do after this stunt."
"I know it will be worse for us if we don't tell them what happened," Ziggy said. He sighed and shook his head.
The three men snuck around the shack, and peered around as the girls lay in the sand, resting.
"We better get going, the guys are probably going nuts with the baby by now," Miyuki said with a giggle.
"I don't know, they're pretty responsible," Shion said. "Well at least most of them are. I'm sure they're doing fine."
"Perhaps you should call them and ask," KOS-MOS said, "that seems the most logical." Shion nodded in agreement, picked up her communicator, and dialed in a number. A minute later the sound of another communicator began to ring a few feet from behind them.
The women frowned and rose to their feet. "That's odd, I tried calling Allan, but it sounds like is communicator is here on the beach," Shion said, narrowing her eyebrows.
Around the shack Allan and Jr. nearly squealed in terror, and Ziggy grunted a soft curse. "Turn the damn thing off," he hissed. Allan fumbled with the buttons, and accidentally pushed the button that made the ringer louder. "Oh hell," Ziggy growled, "give me that thing." He snatched the communicator and crushed it, finally tossing it into a nearby trash can.
"We've got to get out of here," Jr. said, pointing at the girls who were walking towards the disturbance. "At least we know the baby isn't here."
"But what about the communicator," Allan wailed as the men began to drag him away. "Wont the girls see it and figure out it's mine?"
"Will you shut up," Jr. hissed, putting his hands dangerously on his the hilt of his favorite gun. "If we don't go the girls are going to find out that we lost the baby in Gaignun's suit and," he went to continue with his ranting, when numerous gasps made the three men leapt and spin on their heels. The three of them lowered their gazes as Shion, Mary, KOS-MOS, and Miyuki glared down at them.
"Ah, crap," Jr. groaned. "How can this get any worse?"
"I can think of a way," a very angry young voice snapped from behind him. He turned around and came face to face with a scowling, hands on her sides, Realian. Next to Momo was an equally angry Shelley.
"At any rate we can't be in too much trouble," Allan snapped perkily as he fidgeted with his fingers. Gaignun and chaos said they saw the baby's hand under the suit when you two were walking away."
"Gaignun and chaos are down here?" Shion asked with a raised eyebrow.
"All the men are," he snapped defensively, and then regretted it as Jr. elbowed him in the ribs. Allan chuckled embarrassedly and lowered his head. "Uh, that bikini is cute on you chief," he said, hoping to try and change the subject.
"It's the same one I had on the first time we came to Gaignun's beach," she hissed.
"This can't get any worse," moaned Jr. covering his face with his hands.
"We decided the suit was too old, and that Gaignun didn't really need it," Shelley said with an irritated tone, "so Momo and I gave it to charity."
"You gave my little cousin to charity?" Miyuki screeched. The sun beamed down on her chocolate brown eyes and made them glow as a brass fire. The young woman brushed her soft brown hair from her eyes and turned her attention to the men. "Actually this is you're fault. You're the idiots who sent a baby to the damn dry cleaners." Miyuki almost never swore, so when she did, you knew she was mad.
"Look, we can yell at the guys later," Shion said with a sigh. "Right now we have to find Angelena." The women split up into smaller groups, each pulling a guy away in different directions.
It was almost three hours of searching around when the group learned that the charity had sent the suit to an incineration plant. It had been deemed too heavy for their patrons to use. Why no one had tried to look inside the suit, none of them could figure out. Why the baby hadn't made a peep, was even more of a mystery. Miyuki nearly fainted at the thought that the little girl might have smothered under the weight of the suit.
Captain Matthews on the other hand did faint as he rushed through the door of the incinerator plant, just in time to see the suit being tossed into the flames. A moment later he rose to his feet to see the flaming business suit on a conveyor belt, heading for mechanical chopping devices, and finally crushed under a heavy press. When the former suit came out of the machine, it was a fine new piece of cloth. "Ah, Jesus," a Spinach green captain groaned as the cloth was taken off the belt and placed neatly in a box.
"Good thing she wasn't still in there," Shion snapped from behind him. The captain turned to face the rest of the group, the men cowering, the women frowning at the machine, as though it was its fault. In Miyuki's arms was a giggling little Angelena. The child had squeaked just at the right moment, and was taken out of the suit before it had been placed in the machine, just minutes before Captain Matthews had rushed in. Had he never rushed ahead of the group, he would have discovered that.
"Well, all's well that ends well, I guess," Allan said with a sigh.
"Some things never change," Mary groaned.
"Oh, this will end well," Shion snapped. "But you guys won't like the ending too much."
The men spent the rest of the week watching over the baby, with the women watching over them just as close. And when they weren't changing diapers, cleaning puke, or getting creamed corn tossed at them, they were cleaning the entire Durandal from top to bottom, leaving the girls to plan another night out, once they had dropped to their beds on the final night. Some things just never change.
Author's notes: Okay, I know it's not the best ending, but I'm kinda tired, and it's the best way I could think of with the space I had. I really had more fun writing the first one, but different situations bring different reactions. You can bet that the men are not out of the fire yet, as I have a plan for Girls Night Out 3. For all you Foster Workers out there, don't worry, no babies were harmed in the making of this fanfic.