Hi, this is my first story; English is my fif language so if stuff is wong don't blame me. These characters don't belong to me. But I do own the disclaimer I am writing.
Diarrhoea Jutsu - Chapter 1
Naruto woke up. As usual he put his instant ramen in the microwave and fell back to sleep for two more hours. After re-microwaving his ramen twice, he started eating. 0.0000000001 milliseconds later he finished and decided he needed to wash it down with milk. He poured the milk into his cup and started drinking. Of course Naruto didn't realise that milk was 3 weeks old, a day of diarrhoea was ahead of him. He saw Sakura in the street and decided he would walk with her to cell 7's mission. "Sakura I'm over here, do you want to practice kissi… I mean jutsu later." Naruto shouted. Poof! A cloud formed around her, after it dissipated Sasuke was standing there and Naruto realised he had been pranked. "I would love to practice kissing later" Sasuke exclaimed, "but not with you, I'd prefer kiss Itachi." After head-butting the wall 100 times Naruto went to the Hokage's palace to receive his mission. 2 Hours later, Kakashi arrived so Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke and Kakashi entered the Hokage's office. "Let's see, squad 7, you can have a better mission today erm… how about assassinating the Kazeka-"The Hokage trailed off. "Today I'm gonna mix miso and pork ramen to make piso ram-" Naruto said ignoring everyone. "Shut up Naruto!" The hokage shouted, "Because of your insolence I'm going to give you an e rank mission, (Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuuun!) You are going to fertilise the villages onions with cow dung! Mwu ha ha."
They started their mission. 1 minute later they smelt. 2 minutes later they cried. 3 minutes later Kakashi realised he was the boss and didn't need to help. 4 minutes later they ran out of dung. "Oh no where are we going to get the spare dung we need" Sakura said almost fainting. "Good riddance our job is done because we don't have the resources anymore!" Inner Sakura menacingly said. Naruto had the runs. He thought he might of accidently eaten 1,000,000,000 bottles of laxative. Then he let rip, everyone ran, the gas was so dense you could see it seeping out of Naruto. But there was a whole lot more where that came from and it wasn't staying in for long "Pppppppppp squelch pppppppppp squelch pppppppppp squelch" the diarrhoea had taken effect. "Hooray, where saved!" cried Sasuke. A look of puzzle came on Naruto's face, then he realised, everyone needed dung and he had given them enough to last 10 years. He was a saviour. Kakashi raised Naruto in the air and shouted "Hooray for Naruto the saviour!" Everyone stood around Naruto still hoisted in the air. "Pppppppppp" Everyone ran yet again and Naruto fell. He had new powers and he would seize them and become Hokage!
Please don't be rude in the comments if you don't like this don't read it. Please say what you want to happen next.