Maikou: These two have been going at it for a while now: Killing all of our favorite childhood icons and figures of innocence.
Sai: Boomstick, the trigger happy co-host and source of comedy behind Death Battle.
Maikou: And Wizard, the director and brains behind Death Battle.
Sai: He's Maikou and and I'm Sai Blade.
Maikou: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills-
Sai: The RIGHT way!
Maikou: To find out who would win A DEATH BATTLE.
[The Death Battle door slams, then opens to reveal Wizard.]
Maikou: Wizard is the Director and most of the brains behind this twisted slaughterhouse of a show.
Sai: So, if you wanna go there, technically HE'S the murderer of childhood innocence.
Maikou: R-right, he is apparently the one who actually chooses which Death Battles will be made into reality and which ones will be left to the imagination.
Sai: Oh, come on! Who DOESN'T want to see Naruto beat the ever-living SHIT out of Black Star?! Deathstroke and Ezio!
Maikou: ANYWAY, being the smarter of the two, Wiz is PRESUMABLY a better strategist and better at planning in general than his drunken counterpart.
Background: Director of Death Battle
Probably smarter than the average person on the street
Has decent skills with numbers and calculations
Sai: He also seems to have a metal arm that I'm guessing makes him stronger than the average human… And if not, he's always got something hard to hit you with. By the way, we're going with their little sprites or whatever from their 2nd Death Battle Q&A.
Metal Arm: Presumably makes him stronger
Gives him something hard to hit people with
Reflective surface: Can look from behind cover with it
Can probably be used to block bullets
Maikou: He also seems to have what appears to be some form of cybernetic eye-
Sai: You gotta look close for this one, I almost didn't catch it myself. You can tell because, unlike the other one, it has crosshairs in it.
Maikou: We can assume that this eye can point out weaknesses in his foe and possibly strategic advantages, striking points and maybe pressure points in general.
Cyborg eye: not necessarily an advantage
May be able to make stretegies and analyze weak points
Maikou: He is the more calm and level-headed of the two, but he is not perfect.
Sai: As I have proven with my correcting mistakes stories, many of his predictions are actually wrong, a good number of his calculations are off and he tends to overlook crucial details that may tip the balance in the favor of the people who lost, but should have won, such as Ryu's fire dragon or Pikachu's Volt Tackle, which WIZ HIMSELF said strikes with the force of a megaton warhead.
Maikou: Right and even though he does display numbers, he has been shown to actually show bias and have whiny fits about certain things. Such as:
Wiz on Michelangelo's choice of weapon:
"The nunchaku isn't even a weapon at all. It's a farming tool for threshing grain. These 'WEAPONS' Are just overcomplicated clubs with the effectiveness of a tattered flyswatter. Yet somehow, Michelangelo has been able to blunder his way through victories he doesn't deserve. Sure, I get it, swinging chuks around gives him momentum to hit stuff with, but in the end, a baseball bat will give you the same effect and more with much less effort. Seriously, who came up with these things?! They're preposterous!"
Sai: Fuck you, Wizard, I'd kick your ass with nunchuks! Break that metal arm off right now, I'll tell you that much!
Still Wiz on Michelangelo:
"And for some reason, in all his infinite wisdom, the great Master Splinter gave the most COMPLICATED weapon to the RETARD of the group. WHY?"
"Mikey's not gonna win this fight, is he?"
"He BETTER not!"
Sai: Boom! Right there! Obvious bias! I may not like certain characters. But if I'm pitting them in a battle to the death I do them justice and keep my opinion to myself!
Maikou: And the one that makes ME maddest:
Sai: Oh, here we go…
Wiz on Pikachu's refusal to evolve:
"Even thought Pikachu has long-since reached his maximum potential, he refuses to evolve into the vastly superior Raichu due to some pretentious excuse of love and acceptance. What a waste of potential, can you imagine how powerful he could be as a Raichu?"
Maikou: SEE?! Pikachu doesn't need to evolve, it's strong enough! It can take down any Raichu it comes across easily.
Sai: … After getting beaten once by said Raichu.
Maikou: Either way! Wiz is an opinionated, whiny baby!
Sai: And while not exactly arrogant, he is foolish enough to believe that he never once makes a mistake and his WAY too proud of his calculations, which in many cases, he overestimates.
Weaknesses:
Prone to nerd fits
Not as accurate as he likes to believe
DOES make mistakes
Overestimates his calculations
OFTEN skips over important details
Sai: But still, the fans love his work, wrong or not, so I don't see Death Battle going down the drain any time soon.
"Well we- I don't make mistakes."
[The Death Battle Door Closes]