Author's Note: Hey guys, Im honestly not very confident about this story. It is unbeta'd. Please let me know what ya'll think?
The battle had just ended, Optimus Prime had just killed someone whom he considered a father figure in his life. His emotions were all over the place. He pushed them away for the time being and turned around, ignoring the pain of his missing arm and surveyed his team and the humans of N.E.S.T. on the battle grounds of the city of Chicago.
He watched as they all greeted each other, hugged, smiled and laughed, happy they had survived. He did not feel any of those emotions. Oh, he was very happy that he and his team had survived, but, the deaths of so many humans and cybertronians weighed heavily on his already heavy and battle worn spark. He slowly walked towards them, slowing his gait as he watched Bumblebee, his faithful scout, search for something and he silently smiled at the significance of a ring for humans. He then chuckled softly, watching Samuel James Witwicky's reaction then his girlfriend, Carly Spencer's.
As he watched, his thoughts went back to everything that had transpired through the last several days.
They had found his mentor, Sentinel Prime on the moon in the crashed ship called The Ark and brought him back to Earth. They then woke him with the sacred Matrix Of Leadership. They brought with him, the control pillars for a space bridge. His team watched as Sentinel then betrayed the Autobots for a deal with Megatron. They had almost lost his old, dear friend, Ironhide. Wheelie had stopped Sentinel at the moment he was about to pull the trigger on his rust gun. Wheelie will be missed dearly. He gave his life to protect a fellow Autobot.
The humans then exiled us from the planet that we had risked our very lives to protect. We hid right before the ship exploded, knowing that us leaving was a Decepticon trap. We then went into Chicago and got rid of all the Cons that Sentinel and Megatron had brought through the space bridge. We fought off Shockwave and his pet worm. Optimus then fought Megatron and Sentinel, killing them both for good.
Optimus did not know how much more he could take, he had lost so much in this Primus forsaken war. He just wanted a break, was that too much to ask? As the Prime was lost in thought, Ratchet and Ironhide looked up and saw that their leader was struggling with his inner self. Ratchet walked up to him and gently put a servo onto his shoulder, startling the poor leader, making him jump, something that was quite rare for him to do.
"Whoa, easy there Optimus. It's just me and Ironhide."
Optimus shakily sighed, looking at his long time friends. He smiled at them but the smile never reached his optics. That concerned the old war vets for his optics looked so empty, empty of life. They looked at each other then back at the young Prime. They feared what the youngling would do if left alone.
Ironhide took the young mechs arm that wasn't missing and gently started pulling him towards everyone, hoping that interacting with his team, his family, would lift his nonexistent spirits. Optimus started struggling, not wanting to be around anyone at the moment but the elder weapons specialist had a good grip on him.
They made it to the group and Ironhide pulled away, letting the Prime stand on his own. Ratchet came up behind him and injected him with some pain killers, noticing him starting to shake in pain. Optimus flinched but didn't utter a word at the sting of the shot then softly sighed in temporary relief, the pain having gone for now.
Ratchet started to field work on his missing arm, closing the open energon lines and staunching the flow of energon pouring from the wounds on him. Optimus just stood there, looking at the sky, not moving or complaining at all. That wasn't like their leader to not complain about him getting repairs and not helping the others whom Optimus thought were more important than himself.. Ratchet didn't like that Orion wasn't being himself.
After a half hour of field repairs and listening to everyone talking amongst themselves, Optimus was deemed fit enough to transform and roll out. The Prime looked himself over and nodded once, telling Ratchet that he had done well. Optimus then walked away and transformed into his Peterbilt semi alt form, just sitting there, thinking. Always thinking. It seemed that all he did was think. Seeing him transform, the rest of the Autobots transformed and allowed human passengers, driving everyone back to their base in D.C..
Optimus drove behind everyone, thinking more. He started thinking about what they were going to do now. He needed to think about his team. Colonel William Lennox, his co leader, was sitting in the drivers seat, pretending to drive. He noticed Optimus was quiet, quieter than usual and it worried the exhausted man. Optimus was never this quiet unless he was pissed and the Colonel was pretty sure that he wasn't. He contemplated talking to him but wasn't sure if it would be welcome.
They drove in silence for another 20 minutes before the silence became too much.
"Hey, big guy, how are you doing?"
Lennox asked, generally concerned for his co leader and friend. He had known the Prime for 5 years now, having met him right after the battle in Mission City, where he and his team helped the Prime and his team of Autobots try and save an ancient artifact of theirs called The Cube. They ended up finding out that The Cube was destroyed. Lennox frowned. Where were they going to go now? The Autobots had no home now that Cybertron had been destroyed in the back lash of destroying the main pillar for the space bridge. Perhaps he could talk to Sarah, his loving wife, about maybe taking the Autobots in. They had Plenty of room and Annabelle, his almost 6 year old daughter, adored all the Autobots but especially Ironhide and Optimus himself.
The Decepticons alongside Sentinel Prime had tried merging their planet with our own Earth, but failed in the end when Bumblebee helped destroy the Space Bridge, a device that Sentinel had invented and he alone could control. Optimus was quiet for a few minutes, thinking about if he should fib a bit or tell the truth. He then heavily sighed, knowing that he could not lie, alerting the young man that he had heard his question and was about to answer.
"Colonel, I, like my comrades, your team and yourself, am better than I could be at this very moment. I could go right out and say that I am ok and will be better with time. I could say, after a time of grieving, that I will start to heal,"
Lennox didn't like the way Optimus was talking. His voice sounded so dead, like he had just had the rest of his life sucked right out of him. In all honesty, Lennox was starting to feel scared and he wasn't easily scared. He made it a point to make sure Optimus stayed within his sights for the next few weeks. He also made a mental note to talk to Ratchet and Ironhide about Optimus, afraid he may take his life. Lennox looked at the radio, having stopped at a small restaurant for the humans to eat and rest, a habit he had picked up from his times with Ironhide, his family's guardian.
"But, I will not, because in all truths Colonel, I am not ok. I may never be ok again. I feel empty, like I died right alongside my brother and mentor today. I honestly do not feel like living any longer. The war is over, there is nothing left for me to live for. I will not be taking my life because that is the cowards way out of pain as you humans say. That is all I feel, pain. I feel it all throughout my body but most of it is centered within my spark. But, I will not burden you with my selfish woes when you could be inside, fueling up. Go on, I will be fine."
Optimus finished up, trying to sound more cheerful but being unsuccessful. Lennox frowned, looking at the radio, about to protest but the Prime unhooked his seat belt, opened his driver side door and gently helped the tired man out, closing his door behind him. Optimus powered down, hoping to encourage him to go inside and eat. Lennox, seeing that he wasn't going to convince the semi to let him back in, slowly walked away, looking back every few seconds, afraid he may disappear.