From a young age, I felt different from the other kids. But I always knew, I was no less human. Every emotion I felt, I turned into power for the ones I love. But I still have them, probably the same feelings you have. Scared, tired, uncertain, hungry.. lustful. I have learned over the years not to act on them.
I remember one night, when I was younger, when I still lived with my family in our home. It was very late. I don't remember the sky, the season or how I came to feel the way I did. I remember the feeling. It came from deep within me, without warning. The force, like someone much stronger, pushing on my head, trying crush my body. I thought my knees were going to break from the pressure. I could barely endure it. It was more intense than all my training, more forceful than a blow to the chest, heavier than my love for Sasuke. It was more painful than the tear between my family and clan, the Uchiha, and my village, Konoha. I could always shoulder so much. To feel like I was going to break, frightened me. It was the most weakness I have experienced. Often the hardest battles occur within oneself, and require no opponent. This helplessness led me out of my room, down the hallway, and out of my house. I remember walking outside, without shoes, my mind empty, my gut full of the urge to escape. It was deep in my stomach. Outside, the air felt good. I thought the air, the open night would help this feeling go away. I stumbled my way to Izumi's house. I, Itachi, didn't walk there. My body did. Izumi was an Uchiha girl. I knew she loved me. She was very sweet, always smiled at me. I was too busy to play with her, but I would smiled back. Sometimes we would be partners in school, and although she didn't have my sharingan, she could read my movement very well. I stood outside her house, just breathing. I knew where I was, but I felt lost. "Ah". I was crumbling. I dropped to my knees and slumped forward right outside her doorway. She must have known I was there. When I heard footsteps I pulled it together and darted to the side, hidden, watching the doorway. I did not want her parents, Uchihas, to see me the way I was that night. But it was Izumi. "Itachi", she said. She knew I was there.

Her voice, clear and steady, guided me. It cut through the thick fog that blurred my mind. I appeared in front of her. We were facing each other, in the doorway of her house. She was dressed, even though it was the middle of the night. She looked down at my bare feet, then back up into my eyes. She stepped towards me, and I remember how close our faces were, almost touching. She took my hand, without hesitation, and we were running. She was pulling me while we raced through sleeping Konoha, through the farms that surrounded our village, and into the forest. Then she stopped. So, I stopped, her hand still holding mine. I hadn't said a word. I had no words. I could only breath and hold her hand, and follow her, like a child. We stopped on a branch high in the trees, and she said "I'm going to show you something". And she lead me down, from branch to branch until we were on the ground, in a clearing. We were in a spot where the tree canopy opens, just enough for the sun to kiss the ground, so wild flowers can grow. It really was beautiful. I remember the pain in my guts and my knees, and the beauty of where she had taken me. "I know you.", she told me softly. I fell to my knees again. She knew I was ashamed. She knelt down right in front of me, and told me not to worry. I didn't know what I was feeling, but if she knew what to do, I was going to let her do it. I looked at her eyes. We were face to face again, very close. I was breathing on her. Then she grabbed my hips, and like a punch to the stomach I folded over, caught only by her body. That feeling.. I can never forget it. It was desire. It was weakness. I felt her hair on my face and her face pressing against my neck. Then it was warm and wet, her mouth on my neck. I pressed against her harder and she held onto my hips pulling me in. The feeling inside me was taking over. She was licking and sucking my neck. "Why?" I asked her. I was barely able to talk. She pushed me hard, but the look on her face was soft. I fell back onto my hands, still on my knees. She looked at me, for a moment. After a few seconds of gazing at her, the feeling came back. I wanted her to keep touching me. She dropped to her hands and crawled onto me until her mouth found my neck again, then my ear. Then our lips touched. She licked my tongue so I licked hers. I had never felt anyone else's tongue before. She started sucking my lips. She bit them a little but it didn't hurt. Her body weight pushed me to the ground, and she was on top of me. I remember throbbing.. my whole body, from my chest, to my arms, to my finger tips, down my spine, in between my legs, down to my toes, pulsating. She started to take my shirt off and I grabbed her hips. I could tell that her body was strong like mine but it was different. Her hips, her butt, her chest, were softer. I liked the soft parts. She moaned. I liked the noise she made so I grabbed her harder and pulled her into me. I really did want her. I pushed my hips into hers and she made an even better sound. I was hard so I pressed it in between her legs, hoping she'd scream. She did. She took my shirt off and I remember ripping her clothes off, in no thoughtful manner. Suddenly, we were naked. I couldn't see her body but I could feel all of it. She was so warm. I must have felt cold to her. With her pants off, I could feel how wet she was on my leg. I push my leg in between her legs. It felt like she was melting onto me. Then she started sucking my neck and licking slowly down my body. The pain disappeared from everywhere her mouth touched. She reached my stomach and I groaned as the warmth of her mouth eased my twisted guts. She liked the noise I made, I could tell. I pet her hair, and she looked up at me and smiled. She licked my left hip then low across my belly to my right hip. Controlled by desire, I grabbed her head and pushed her down lower. "Mmm!", she said, like I was in trouble. I needed to control myself more so I played with her hair while she led her tongue lower and lower until I felt her mouth wrap around me. I gasped and then closed my eyes enjoying her. She sucked the tip and I pushed all the way into her mouth. She squealed a little. It was the first and last time I felt total ecstasy.. total lust.. total desire. She sucked up and down and let me push into her mouth, squeeling when I did. "Izumi.. please don't stop." I begged her. I had never been like that before. She sucked all the way down and I gasped again. In the dark her eyes looked wild. Then she stopped and fell onto her back. I remember our feet touching. The two of us naked on our backs breathing heavily, in the flowers and grass, looking up through the trees. "Itachi.", she whispered. I assumed she wanted me to lick and suck her too, so I sat up and laid on my stomach, my face in between her legs. She was glistening wet and I slid my finger down her insides to see what she felt like. She gasped just like I did. I ran my hands along the outside of her legs to her hips. I pulled her towards my face. I licked once. She screamed. So I kept doing it. I remember tasting her and feeling intoxication for the first time. I licked all the wetness then started sucking on her. She was squirming and moaning. The noises were blurred between pain and pleasure. She said my name softly and I kept eating her. I put my tongue inside her. She grabbed my hair. I licked inside her. Then she told me to come kiss her. I crawled on top of her and started kissing her, wondering if she could taste herself on my lips. Was it as intoxicating to her as it was to me? I pushed in between her legs to rub where she was wet. I thought that would feel good for her. She grabbed my hips and guided me into her. I slipped inside her, deep into her and we both sighed. The pain was all gone. I pulled out and fell back inside her, hard. Then again, deeper. "I love you.", she said. I remember her words. They sang in my ears, like birds in the morning. I loved her. Whatever weighed on me, everything I wanted, everything I would never have I showed her with my body. When she cried out I wondered if it was from my pain, so I asked her what it felt like. A tear streamed down her face, "It's beautiful.", she told me. She was beautiful. The harder and the deeper I went the more I felt and the less I felt, so I kept going. Her whole body bounced while I let everything go. I remember still worrying it was too much for her. I wanted to kiss her, so I stayed inside her, massaging her insides and kissed her lips. I sucked on her neck like she did to me. I sucked her chest and tried to be as gentle as her body was. When I looked down at her, I had left marks from her neck to her chest, like a trail. Then I wanted to thrust into her again. I eased out gently, until I was almost out of her. It made her shiverer. Then I shoved myself back into her over and over and over until she told me she was going to explode, moaning. It made me want to thrust harder. Her whole body started convulsing and her eyes rolled back into her head. Crying, she tightened around me and a wave of pleasure rolled through my body, something I had never experienced. I wondered if she felt it too. I went as deep inside her as I could and I came, while she shook under me. Vulnerable to every sensation. She knew I need to experience it. She knew the right time. Maybe she had been waiting. She could always anticipate my movements. I loved her very much and I loved showing her. I loved fucking her. Just one time. It's the beauty of being human.