STAY
A/N: Wow, so it's been awhile- and I promise I'm going to update Jar of Hearts within a week. I've just been going through a lot and my writing got put on the backburner, but tonight I was listening to Stay by Miley Cyrus and this just came to me, and I let out everything I've been holding in- my outlets being Kagome and InuYasha, aha. Yes this is a sort of fan-fic, so go listen to the song Stay while you read this!
WARNING: This fic contains mention of suicide, which is NEVER the answer. It's a permanent fix to a temporary solution. Also contains sexual activity.
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha... Sadly. I wish I did. That would be kick-ass.
X-X *Kagome's Point of View*
Well it's good to hear your voice, I hope you're doing fine. And if you ever wonder, I'm lonely here at night.
The lone piano note of the song that came on the radio resonated through my car- the words slicing through every part of me. It had been three years- three long fucking years since I had seen InuYasha.
For the most part, my life was normal. I went to school, got good grades, got asked out a few times, always turned them down, and I graduated. There were no demons, no sacred jewels to cause commotion.
No InuYasha.
The pain that I felt in my chest everyday was almost too much to bear and I was becoming more and more miserable as time passed. My heart felt like it was being torn out of my chest at every glance. Every time I saw something that reminded me of him, I felt like I couldn't breathe and I would rush home and try to jump into the well, only to end up with a few scrapes on my legs and a terrible pain in my shins.
I couldn't help but wonder how they were all doing over there. Had Sango and Miroku gotten married officially and had kids? Was Shippou aging rapidly and ascending the ranks? Had Kirara started a family? Was Kaede still among the living?
Had InuYasha moved on?
That thought I couldn't bear. Here I was trying to survive everyday without him by my side- always turning down date offers, because I can't even picture myself being with anyone but him. I can't see anyone but him kissing me- touching me- loving me. But was it mutual?
I'm lost here in this moment and time keeps slipping by- and if could have just one wish- I'd have you by my side.
Every time I realized it had been three years, I still got shocked. Three years without sitting someone or hearing a "Keh!" Three years without his touch, his voice, his eyes, his ears. I know it was the right thing to do- wishing the Shikon jewel to disappear- but every day I wished I could take it all back and just wish for him to stay with me forever.
Of course, it would have turned that wish around on me somehow, but I would still be with him. I wondered if I would ever see them again, or if that one last time when he brought me home would be my last memory of him. Three years... I kept hoping that maybe, just maybe, the well would open again. That the Kami would be done playing their sick twisted joke on me, but every day it got a little harder to believe that there was any hope.
Oh, I miss you. Oh, I need you.
X-X *InuYasha's Point of View*
And I love you more than I did before, and if today I don't see your face- nothing's changed no one can take your place, it gets harder every day.
I missed her.
Every fucking day I missed her. The first year or so I went every three days to that stupid well to see if maybe she had come home, and every day I left that well feeling like my heart was being dragged out of my ass. After the two year mark, I started going every day- my emotions getting the best of me. I was desperate to see my mate.
Sometimes I even slept at the well.
Most of the time I slept in the Goshinboku, knowing I would sense when she came through that well.
When, not if.
Every time (which is all the time) I thought about her and what she was doing in her world, a snarl would escape out of me. She was probably over there being asked out by tons of guys, because we all know she's beautiful, and I would pray to the Kami that she said no to them.
At the thought of her moving on, my ears would flatten to my head and a whimper would ease its way out of my throat.
I, for one, hadn't even as much as looked at another female since she left. I couldn't picture mating anyone but her, and I was just too stubborn to see it before. Kagome told me a saying that they say in her world that "you don't know what you've got until it's gone" or some shit like that, and I have to agree. When she left, it's like my air left. She's the reason I breathe and that's the only reason I'm still here today. Hope. Hope that she will come back to me.
Well I tried to live without you, tears fall from my eyes. I'm alone and I feel empty, God I'm torn apart inside. I look up at the stars- hoping you're doing the same, and somehow I feel closer and I can hear you say oh, I miss you. Oh, I need you.
I won't lie. I've cried. Most of the nights a stray tear or two leak out, and of course I wipe them away furiously. It's hard to sit and think about the fact that I may never see her again- that I've lost her for good, and when that happens it's a worse feeling than when Sesshomaru puts his hand through my gut.
But then I know I have to calm myself down and rebuild my hope back up. That's when I go to the well, and I lay down next to it and look up at the stars. The stars that we gazed at together so many times before. The stars that we made wishes on. And then I feel her. It's not something physical, it's just like my heart is connected to hers and I know that she's alive and well. I know that she loves me. And if I'm lucky, she's waiting for me- looking at the stars too.
And then I realized I would wait forever if I had to.
X-X *Kagome's Point of View*
Say you loved me more than you did before, and I'm sorry that it's this way, but I'm coming home- I'll be coming home and if you ask me I will stay.
It got to be too much. I drove home after hearing that fucking song and I dove into the well house, clutching the edge of the well so hard that one might think I was a demon. The wood splintered into my fingers and all I could do was cry from the pain- so small from the one I was feeling in my chest.
I felt sick, all I wanted to do was see him. To be happy with him. To love him, and I couldn't! I was stuck in this stupid fucking place without him.
I wanted to die. I looked around and saw a knife that my grandfather used to cut herbs to burn for the Kami when he prayed. I grabbed it and looked at the blade- irrational thoughts running through my head.
'He should be dead right now, right? InuYasha was only half-demon so if I die right now, then I should see him on the other side."
It was stupid logic. I had no idea how long hanyou life spans were, and even then I would technically be going to Hell for killing myself, but at that time I didn't care. I just wanted to see him one way or another.
I put the blade to my wrist and made one cut- deep enough that if I were to cut the other wrist just as even, then I should bleed out in a reasonable amount of time. It stung like a bitch, but it was still incomparable to the emotional pain.
As I put the blade to my other wrist and lowered it-
"KAGOME! STOP!"
I froze. That was the voice I wanted to hear so badly, but I was so far gone that I swore I was hallucinating. That is until he stood me up and turned me around, grabbing my shoulders, and making me focus on him.
Oh stay, please always stay. I never want to lose you, and if I had to I would choose you so stay. Please always stay. You're the one that I hold on to, because my heart would stop without you.
And there he was. His gold eyes burning into mine, silver hair waving slightly from the wind that had picked up. He was dressed in regular clothes from people in my time and his ears, fangs, and claws were nowhere in sight.
"I-InuYasha?" My voice sounded weak even to my ears, and tears spilled rapidly down my cheeks before I threw my arms around him and sobbed into his shoulders.
And then everything went dark.
I woke up in a unfamiliar bed what seemed like a few hours later, my mind foggy from everything. I looked at the wrist I had cut deeply and saw that it was bandaged, but other than that it seemed fine- no blood was leaking out. The other wrist only had a red scratch from when I lowered the blade. I looked to my right and saw the one thing that took my breath away.
InuYasha.
This time his demonic features were on full display, and I started to tear up when I touched his cheek- realizing that this wasn't a joke. This wasn't a dream! InuYasha is really here with me, lying next to me, looking at me through those gold eyes-
"Kagome..." He rasped out and before he could say anymore, I flung myself on top of him- kissing him with everything I had in me.
Say you love me more than you did before, and I'm sorry it's this way- but I'm coming home, I'll be coming home. And if you ask me I will stay, I will stay.
The kiss went from innocent to passionate within seconds. My hands ran through his hair, so much more tidy since our days in the feudal era- but still wild. His hands trailed down my sides, causing shivers to erupt throughout my whole body, and I couldn't help but try and pull him closer. When he prodded my mouth open with his tongue, I let him all the while enjoying every new sensation he brought me from sweeping his tongue through my mouth- tasting every inch of me, and me doing the same.
I could feel his arousal on my thigh and I smirked against his lips, glad I could make him feel this way. I bit his lip sensually and heard him groan causing his chest to vibrate. His hands traveled down to my ass and he gave it a squeeze causing me to moan and him to smirk. InuYasha always was one for payback.
Before he could make another move, I straddled him and sat up- pulling on his forelocks so that our kiss wouldn't be interrupted but so that I could get the position I wanted. Pulling away for only a minute I looked him in the eyes- lust clouding both of our visions- and said, "take off my clothes, InuYasha."
He looked shocked for only a moment before complying and quite literally ripping my shirt and bra off of my body. This earned him a gasp of annoyance which quickly turned into pleasure when he took one of my pink nipples into his mouth to play with. I started to grind into his lip, my hands trailing to the buttons on his shirt- quickly undoing every single one and taking off the offending material so I could see the body of the man I was loving.
I pushed him back down, to which he whined a bit, and continued to kiss him before slowly starting my descent down his body. I left open mouthed kisses all along his neck, chest, chiseled abs, and hips.
When I reached his pants, I undid the buttons and pulled them off- pleased to find out that InuYasha was not a fan of underwear, but before I could do what I so badly wanted to do- he pulled me back up and said, "You go first."
Before I could respond, he had us flipped and he started to do what I did to him, all the while taking off the small skirt I had on and my thong. I heard him take a sharp take of breath and felt his claws slightly pricking my sides- a sign he was fighting to control himself.
It turned me on all the more.
Just when I was about to urge him to do something, a moan erupted from my throat when he took a slow steady lick through my folds.
"Fuck, Kagome- you're so wet." He groaned out and all I could do was moan when he continued his sweet torture.
He was skilled in this department- how I didn't want to know. He had me coming undone within a few minutes and right when I was about to let go, I felt him put one of his digits inside of me, causing me to clamp down on his finger and yell out his name in ecstasy.
When my breathing slowed down a little, I felt him place himself at my entrance- and I looked down at him to see him looking right at me with a question in his eyes: "Are you ready?"
I gave him a small nod and braced myself for the pain I knew would happen. Inch by inch he eased himself into me. It got more and more uncomfortable the more he got in and I could feel something inside of my burst when he pushed all the way through. A small cry escaped my lips and a tear leaked from my eye, but other than that I was alright. It was a burning sensation and he immediately sensed my discomfort- coming eye level with me whispering sweet things to me and kissing me fervently.
After a few minutes, I told him he could move and from then on it was pure pleasure through and through. He stayed face to face with me for the most part- kissing me and nuzzling me. The pleasure started to build up and I knew I wanted us to ride this rollercoaster together so I took hold of his ears and started to rub them which caused him to moan out, and us coming undone together.
After a minute he pulled out but stayed on top of me- our breathing in sync as well as our hearts. There were so many questions in both of our eyes so he kissed me once more before rolling over and cradling me to him.
"How?" I asked him- seeming to sum up everything into one tiny word.
"I waited for you." He answered, his chest rumbling causing my heart to flutter.
"For 500 years?" I whispered, shocked. I mean I would do the same but I never knew he felt that way.
"Yes, for 500 and I would wait five million more if I had to. That's what happens when you love someone."
I sat up and looked at him, more tears falling from my eyes. "You love me?"
"Of course, baka! I always have, I was just too stubborn to ever admit it. I'm sorry I waited so long before coming to you, I wanted to make sure you missed me too. I didn't want it to go that far." He muttered, motioning to my wrists.
"I just wanted to see you so badly." I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly to me, this action causing butterflies despite what we had already done.
"I wanted to see you too. I waited for you, I adapted, I got a witch to make a charm for me so I could pass as a human." He stroked my hair and he seemed to already know my next question, "Sango and Miroku got married and had 6 kids. I still talk to their descendants to this day- Kirara still protects them in the form of a kitten. Kaede passed away 5 years after you left from old age, and she told me to tell you that you were like a daughter to her. Sesshomaru mated Rin once she was of age and they had a hanyou child whom they named Tetsuki. Rin passed away 20 years later from a demon attack, but Sesshomaru and Tetsuki are still very much alive- living only about half an hour from here. Shippou is living in America now, but he said he was going to come to Japan sometime soon so he could see you. He still thinks you're his mother." He paused then to allow me to take in all the information.
"Thank you for telling me, InuYasha." I leaned over him, and put our foreheads together. "I love you so much."
"I know, I love you too, Kagome." He whispered and I kissed him lovingly.
After a few moments of silence and just looking at each other and appreciating that we were real, he muttered, "So can we do that again?"
I laughed, sighed, and said the one thing I had missed saying these last few years: "Sit boy."
X-X-X-X-X
A/N: Ah, that was long, aha. So it started off depressing, went into romance, and ended with comedy... well I think it was comedy, lol. Sorry if you didn't like it. That was my first time writing a lemon aha, not too good I don't think but I tried! Please review, and Jar of Hearts will be updated soon!
Love you all!