Disclaimer: I do not own anything in supernatural.

AN: this is my first Fan fiction so please be nice. When i switch POV from Dean and Cas there will be an x and a D or C

Dean lay in the dark motel room; the soft rumble of Sam's snoring adding a small comfort to Dean's uneasy and restless sleep. His eyes straining in the darkness, wondering what woke him from his usual and repeated night mares.

Then he heard it, hitched and fast breathing. It sounded as if the person had been running. Gripping his hand tighter around the hilt of the knife under his pillow. Turning slowly, trying to act as if he was still asleep, from his stomach to his side. Deliberately and cautiously he slid his bare feet onto the frayed red carpet. Pulling his fists in front of him like a guard, he inched, one foot in front of the other towards the breathing and towards the light switch.

X C X

Cas could barely catch his breath, what he just saw, out in the open none the less. He had seen Dean do it a few times but that was always out by his "baby" opening a door for a woman to get in. Leaving Sam and himself to walk back to a motel if they were in one or back to the bunker. What he just saw would get any healthy males blood flowing. Finally the nerve to move again he stumbled backwards towards the couch as someone's gentle footsteps caught his attention.

"Dean" Cas croaked out collapsing onto the couch. Dean stopped walking dead in his tracks.

"Cas?" Dean's questioned a distinct sound of relief in his voice. A pang of annoyance hit Cas as he watched the eldest Winchester stumble to turn the lamp on by the left side of the couch.

"Whom else could it be Dean? Do you have other men just appear in your Motel rooms at odd hours of the morning?" Cas asked unable to keep the annoyance from seeping its way into his voice.

"Yes once actually Cas. Those two men killed Sam and me." Dean replied reminding the angel.

"My apologies I shall make sure to inform you with call in the future." Cas said glaring at the red carpet.

"Cas I….I didn't mean..." Dean started his dirty blond eyebrows knitting together.

Cas felt an unusual surge of satisfaction but it was quickly enveloped by guilt, "We need to talk." Cas made himself look up from the carpet and into the lily pad green eyes that had been boring a hole into him for the last minute.

"Cas what's wrong?" Dean asked walking forward to Cas, kneeling in front of him so they were eye to eye. Cas opened his mouth to start the story of what he had just saw and felt, when a thick groggy voice came to them from the lump that was Sam, "Dean….is everything ok?"

"Yes Sam. Everything is correct and in order as it should be." Cas responded realizing Dean was expecting him to answer. Sam grumbled something that sounded like "Dean's fucking Angel waking me up at three in the morning" and he rolled over falling instantly back to sleep.

Cas frowned in Sam's direction. "Cas?" Dean prompted again, waiving his hand. Cas snapped his eyes back to Dean and took a deep breath.

"So I have been frequenting bars to pick up on male and female interaction." Cas started feeling the heat of blush fill his features.

"Not the best idea there buddy." Dean commented shifting his weight between his two feet.

"Yes. I came to this conclusion two nights ago, but I had already told the bartender I would be returning the next day so I could not break my word." Cas explained as if it was common sense, "So I returned for one last night of observance. There were a lot of men there tonight." Dean groaned

X D X

Dean didn't know if he wanted to hear the rest of this conversation. He began to feel uncomfortable as Cas came to the end of his short and disturbing death sentence.

"I asked the bartender where the women were and he politely explained it was strictly men there tonight. So I nodded and asked for my usual one beer to tide me over for the night. And I sat and watched. These men seemed to be nicer to each other than they were to the woman, which pleased me."

Dean's head snapped up disbelief in what he was hearing "It didn't bother you that they were….you know….trying to mate with one another?" Dean asked trying to put it as gentle as possible.

"Well yes Dean," Cas smiled a knowing smile, "Men can love men as much men love woman or woman loving woman. Dean, love is love."

Cas chuckled at what Dean presumed to be how he was reacting to this. "Yes love is love. Anyway, these two men had been...passionately kissing after they arrived at the bar," Blush was starting to bloom over Cas' pail cheeks, his blue eyes dropping in slight embarrassment, to the floor, "They became very…physical with one another." Cas paused as he gathered his thoughts together slightly biting his bottom lip, "And I don't mean in the fighting sense." Dean saw the involuntary shiver run up Castiel's spine and a small smile touch his lips. "I…..I could not…." Cas looked up desperately at Dean "I could not look away from their activities with one another. My body stared to react and now I don't know how I feel." Cas paused dropping his face into his hands, "I wonder…did I do something incorrect." Cas spoke these last words as if he didn't release them, that they would eat him from the inside.

Dean rested back on his heels a slight warmth wrapped around his neck as he spoke the next words, regretting the fact that he needed to know the answer "Did…" Dean gulped, "Did you enjoy watching them Cas? Did you feel like all you blood was rushing to one area?" Dean asked unsure how to ask Cas these questions. He had had a similar conversation the first time Sam had gotten a hard on. The difference was Sam was his brother and Cas… well Cas was an Angel.

"You mean to my penis I presume." Cas said the blush deepening. Dean nodded feeling the heat from his neck slinking up his neck to his ears and cheeks, "Yes." That was all Cas said.

"What did you do about it?" Dean asked clearing his thought, as he took the seat by the confused angel on the couch.

"That is actually why I'm here….I perplexed on how to approach this situation." Cas admitted turning his body slightly to look at Dean. Dean's green eyes traveled from Cas' pleading blue eyes to his full lips, down his trench coat covered arms to where his hands rested. They were cupped over his crotch no doubt trying to hide his erection.

Dean felt his body react to this. He gulped feeling his blood rushing down. Shaking his head slightly in an attempt to clear it he asked his next question unable to look away from the blue sparkling eyes, "Cas…have you ever experienced anything like this before?" Dean asked forcing himself to look in Cas' eyes "Have you ever felt like this about a person or certain people while you are observing other human beings?"

Cas' frame shook looking like he wanted to cry. In a near whisper he said "Whenever I see you kiss another."

Dean swallowed audibly, his jaw clenching slightly before opening his mouth to reply, "That's nothing to be ashamed of Cas. Everyone has their own turn-ons. My week spot happens to be deep blue eyes, for Sam…since Jess passed away, it's been men." Dean threw a frustrated hand through his short hair and continued, "For you it's watching others be intimate. Nothing is wrong with you Castiel." Dean placed his hand on Cas shoulder. Cas nodded but still unsure if he believed Dean.

"Now let's…uh…get to the solution for your situation. Come on." Dean stood up and held his hand out. Cas took it uncertainly and followed Dean to the bathroom "I don't understand how coming in here will help this." Cas commented as Dean started the shower.

"Once I leave…get undressed and you know…touch yourself." Dean couldn't believe he was chickening out in explaining this to Cas. Why was this so hard?

"Touch myself?" Cas asked moving his hand to his chest.

"No Cas!" Dean exclaimed growling before launching into the explanation, "Ok once all your clothes are off and you're in the shower alone…" Dean clenched his teeth felling his embarrassment grow, "Grab your crotch in your hand and move your hand up and down its length. Find out what feels good and keep going with that." Dean pulled in a large breath his face a fire truck red "You will know when you're done." Dean clapped his hands and began to walk out of the bathroom.

"Thank you Dean." Cas said turning to face his friend.

"No problem Cas." Dean replied smiling slightly amused. Dean saw Cas gulp as he stepped forward closing the small amount of distance between them. Dean had reminded Cas of the personal bubble a bazillion times but he felt no need to remind him or say anything for that matter. Part of him wanted Cas closer, his blue eyes almost to mesmerizing. Cas reached up cupping Dean's face lightly between his hands. In the next moment Dean felt a wave a shock and realization as Cas suddenly kissed him. As soon as their lips met Dean pushed into the kiss his teeth catching Cas' bottom lip. A moan escaped Cas causing a small voice to whisper in Dean's head. 'Is this the right thing? Yes it is. I want Cas…he wants me. Sam is asleep in the other room. We can close the bathroom door. What happens if this all goes bad and you lose Cas?' That stilled Dean's needy lips.

"No."Cas begged pulling himself closer.

"NO!" Dean roared pushing away from Cas' chest. He stumbled back and the last glimpse he caught of Cas before running out the Motel door was one of him looking hurt and confused.

AN: would love reviews :)