The Transformers: Robotic Monkeys from Atlantis

Bumblebee ripped through the crowded main floor of the Ark and raced to his personal quarters. Underneath his left arm was a fairly large package, gigantic by human standards. "Everybody, move!" the yellow minibot yelled, extremely uncharacteristic for the usual jolly Autobot. "It came, it came!" he celebrated. "Sweet Primus, it finally came!" Rushing almost as quickly behind him was young Spike Witwicky, long time friend and ally of the Autobots and particularly close to Bumblebee. His blinding smile indicated he shared his friend's excitement.

"What in tarnation was that about?" Ironhide asked with more than a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Maybe him get inflatable life-partner," Grimlock snickered.

"Well, I'm gonna go find out what's got all his chickens crowing like there's no rain on Tuesday!"

Grimlock rubbed his chin and contemplated the meaning of Ironhide's words. It was a short and unsuccessful contemplation. "Me have no idea what that means, but me-Grimlock coming with you."

Inside Bumblebee's Personal Quarters

Sounds of intense frustration and borderline euphoria spilled out from within the walls of Bumblebee's sanctuary. "This is beyond cool," Bumblebee announced to nobody in particular.

"It sure is," Spike agreed, "But it's kind of difficult to get the hang of." Part of Spike's problem was due in part to having to use a special Autobot-sized controller. Leaning against the joystick with all his weight in a struggle simply to maneuver his character quickly drained his limited strength. "Sweet graphics, though!" he added.

Ironhide and Grimlock didn't bother seeking permission to enter the room. Both were beyond curious about what had gotten their small friend so worked up. "Now what is going on with you two?" Ironhide asked. "Ya'll are acting like somebody came in and leaked oil all over yer crow's nest!"

Bumblebee paused his game and cast a confused look at Spike. "What'd he say?"

"Him say you acting crazy," Grimlock responded, taking it upon himself to serve as Ironhide's interpreter. "Him want to know why. Me too."

Spike felt a cramp beginning to erupt in his left leg and needed to walk it out. "I'm taking off, this game has worn me out." He took a few seconds to marvel once more at the beauty and intelligence that was on the computer screen before him, and then headed out into the Ark.

"So are you gonna start telling me what's got your corn in a tree or do I have to keep guessing?" Ironhide asked after Spike had left the room. "What exactly is that contraption you got there?"

Bumblebee's optics glowed brightly and a smile fell across his faceplate. "This, old-timer, is a special Autobot-sized Wee-X-Station game console. Dr. Fujinami built it especially for me as thanks for my help in potty training his pet Godzilla-chimp."

"Godzilla-chimp?" Ironhide asked.

"It's a long story," Bumblebee stated. "Anyway, he sent this along with a copy of the newest video game sensation to take the world by storm." He laid his controller down at his feet and grabbed the box that once contained the cartridge. It was brightly colored with big, bold letters and jeweled exclamation points. "Robot Monkeys from Atlantis," he proudly read aloud to his captive audience. "It's the special 'flinging-poo' edition!"

Grimlock shook his head. "Me no believe this," he said. "You acting like little girlie-former, all because of some puny human game?"

Ironhide had heard enough and decided against hanging around any longer. This was something he didn't understand and wasn't about to make an effort to change that fact. As he made his exit, he heard Bumblebee respond to the Dinobot's remark.

"Puny human game?" he growled. "Here, try it," he sternly added. He picked up his controller and threw it at Grimlock, hitting him squarely in the chest. "Play it for ten minutes and if you still think it's a 'puny human game', I'll send it back to Dr. Fujinami tomorrow morning."

72 Hours Later…

"Come on, Grimlock, cough it up!" Bumblebee yelled. "It's been three days for Primus' sake! Let me have a turn!"

Grimlock didn't take his optics off the screen. The number located in the bottom right hand corner indicated he had just completed the 32nd level and only had three more to go before conquering the game. So far, he had survived twelve armies of mutant monkeys, outran two heavy-artillery ice chariots and defeated four Atlantean crab-guzzlers. "Shut up," he barked. "Me almost done," he added, narrowly dodging a barrage of twin-spiked turtle shells being hurled by one-armed ninjas. "Stop talking. Me no listen to you anymore."

"I'm telling Arcee," Bumblebee whined. "I'm sick of waiting to play my own freaking game."

"Me telling Arcee," Grimlock mocked as the small Autobot left the room. "Me, Grimlock no care who you tell. Me Grimlock, king! Me Grimlock- video game king!"

Moments later Arcee stormed into the room and looked the situation over. Bumblebee kept a safe distance behind her, but still remained close enough to catch whatever unfolded. "Is someone being a greedy-meanie with the video game?" she asked softly.

"No!" Grimlock roared as he tried to block out the intrusion and remain focused on his game. "Possession nine tenths of law… and I have all nine."

Arcee slowly walked around to Grimlock's other side and watched him play for a few seconds. "You're pretty good," she stated. "But I think you should give it back to Bumblebee now, you've played it long enough."

Grimlock lost his concentration ever so briefly, but it was long enough to succumb to his enemies. A trio of armor-wearing tuna warriors had successfully slaughtered his character only one level away from total and complete victory. "Me no believe it," he said slowly, with rage building from deep within his body. "Me so close," he shouted, tossing the controller down onto the ground. "You made me lose!" he exclaimed, pointing a heavy finger in Arcee's direction. "It your fault me die!"

Arcee stood her ground. "Don't blame me for you losing," she responded in a motherly tone. "I didn't do anything except remind you that you had been playing long enough." She picked up the controller Grimlock had tossed down and motioned for Bumblebee to come inside. "If anything, it was karma letting you know your time was up."

Grimlock extended one hand; palm out, and halted Bumblebee's entrance into his own personal quarters without saying a word. Wisely, the small minibot lowered his head and sulked back outside the door. "Challenge," the Dinobot commander stated. "Me and you."

"I'm not going to play you, Grimlock," Arcee said. "Your time is over. Now quit acting like a glitching brat and leave."

"What matter, girlie-girl?" Grimlock teased. "You afraid of me, Grimlock?"

Arcee had never backed down from a challenge and decided she wasn't going to start now. She moved in closer until she was mere inches away from Grimlock's head. Staring deep into his optics, she muttered a phrase she'd heard several times from Spike and his peers. "Just bring it, biatch."

One Minute Later…

"You fight like fembot!" Grimlock mocked, enjoying his momentary advantage.

"I am a fembot!" Arcee shot back.

"That my problem?" Grimlock continued.

Thirty Seconds Later…

"You cheated! You not play right way!" Grimlock's accusations could be heard throughout the Ark. He had just witnessed the most complete annihilation of his character possible. Without so much as leaking a drop of lubricant, Arcee dismantled whatever false sense of invulnerability Grimlock had created. He had just been humbled, one on one, in a game of Robotic Monkeys from Atlantis.

"No, I didn't," Arcee replied as she prepared to exit the room. She was completely satisfied with her performance and the knowledge that Grimlock would find it hard to forget his thrashing. "You just aren't as good as you think you are."

A small crowd had gathered outside of Bumblebee's quarters, partly because they had heard Grimlock's roar and partly because Bumblebee was telling anyone who would listen what was happening. Kup and Brawn were the closet to the door and thus had the best seats in the house for what was about to happen. Grimlock continued to shout out insults and derogatory remarks at Arcee. The first few were easily ignored, but with each additional one you could see they were starting to take a toll on the lovely fembot. Finally she had heard enough and stood directly in front of her heckler. At first, nobody was sure what to expect. Was she actually going to get into a physical altercation with the mighty Dinobot commander? Would she begin firing off her own barrage of verbal missiles?

With a strong, deliberate soccer-style kick, Arcee had made her final point and left no doubt in anyone's mind who had won this brief encounter. Landing directly between the Dinobot's legs, the massive thrust of pain that shot through his entire body caused him to fall to his knees. He let out a massive moan before finally going off-line.

"I guess it's true what the humans say," Kup mentioned to Brawn as they took one last look before returning to their previous engagements. "It really IS all fun and games until you get kicked in the nuts… and bolts."

Brawn let out a hefty chuckle. "Heh, you mean the ol' cog-n-balls routine!"

Kup nodded in agreement. "Yeah, you could say that." Suddenly Kup stopped and a look of horror fell upon his faceplate. "Brawn!" he roared.

"What?" Brawn asked, startled and worried about his friend. "What is it?"

Calmness returned to Kup's tone. "Here, lil' buddy… pull my finger."

The End.