Random things that Emmet Cullen Shouldn't Do
But will do anyway while looking at these rules
1. Dress up in one of Rosalie's skimpy dance club outfits and grind up against Edward at any random time in school
2. Do the previous to Bella
3. Do the previous just to push Jasper's sanity over the edge because of the strong lustful emotions that will come from nearby girls
4. Do the previous to anyone including innocent bystanders
5. Walk into Victoria's secret and put on thigh-high, black, leather, 6-inch stilettos in the changing room, then seductively saunter up to every male shopper in the store and ask, "Do these boots make my thighs look fat?"
6. Turn any inanimate object into a vampire. This includes Barbie dolls, couches, cell phones, fruits and/or vegetables
7. Tell Edward that he unfortunately killed Bella while wearing a leopard print banana hammock.
8. Wear a leopard print banana hammock in public, or anywhere
9. Pantse Bella in the hallway at school and then run away screaming that Bella should not reveal herself to innocent people
10. Claim to have had hot and heavy sex with Bella while Edward was hunting on the back seat in his Volvo when Edward passes by him in the hallway
11. Claim to have done the previous with Edward while in front of Bella
12. Bribe Rosalie to spray paint a naked picture of Bella on the hood on Edward's Volvo
13. Walk into Edward's room while Bella is over and blatantly ask Bella, "what is this?" while holding up a naked picture of Jacob or another one of the werewolves
14. Do the previous with a naked picture of Tanya that he claims to have taken out of Edward's wallet, but to Bella and then giggle excidedly when she blushes lobster red
15. Make Bella blush because he says anything sexually related
16. Do the rain dance
17. Do the rain dance around Bella while adding suggestive moves to it
18. Make sexual moans every time his biology teacher turns around to face the backboard
19. Have his man boobs pierced and then the next day in english start singing, "my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…" while topless
20. Pierce his man boobs and when people ask why reply with, "it boosts my smexy rating!" all while having a strait face
21. Pretend to fall asleep in school and then make moaning sounds and whisper Bella's name over and over while in a class with Edward, or any time for that matter
22. Say to Edward, "Man, I am so proud, you got Bella knocked up!" while Bella is in the room.
23. Then say to Edward's questioning gaze, "What, she told me she was pregnant. Oh, maybe it isn't yours. It must be Jacobs! I am going to congratulate him!" While Bella turns tomato red and Edward rushes off to go rip Jacob to shreds
P.S. I HATE Jacob! Sorry to you Jake fans, but he needs his own life!
24. Prance around in a tutu
25. Buy a miniature dog
26. Wear the two previous while pretending to be Paris Hilton
27. Say, "That's hot!"
28. Get Bella high on caffeine
29. Convince Bella that Edward is having an affair with her.
As Alice super glued the rule sheet up to the front door of the house, Edward sighed. "What is it?" Alice asked.
Edward replied, "It is a little bit depressing that most of these rules apply to Bella and I. Emmet must really love to torture us…."
"Completely correct my bro!" mocked Emmet who had just ran into the room in a hot pink sequined mini skirt and skin tight, white spaghetti strapped shirt courtesy of Rosalie which allows you to see his pierced man boobs.
"Wow."
"I know, look at this list!" exclaimed Bella, catching sight of the list, then quickly blushes after reading number one!