A/N: Just a little Valentine's Day present….
Mick hadn't seen Beth in almost a month. Not since the day of Josh's funeral when he had told her he was human again. He still was, that much was obvious. He just didn't know for how much longer. Beth had called him once to reassure him that she had forgiven him for Josh's death and since then they had exchanged a few casual emails. But nothing more, and it was killing him.
The thing about not being a vampire anymore was that he couldn't even keep an eye on Beth. Mick knew she could take care of herself, but at the same time he felt a strange hole in his life without seeing her at least once a week, without sensing her, without seeing with his own eyes that she was okay. He would watch her on Buzzline sometimes – he used to pretend it was for the news, but he just didn't want to admit the truth. Mick watched her stories to see her. To hear her soft musical voice and pretend, just for a moment, that those beautiful eyes were looking only at him.
Those were the nights he admitted to himself that he was in love with her. Those were the nights he drank. And tonight was one of those nights.
Mick poured himself a glass of Jack Daniels and sat down on the couch. He hated today – always had. He hated it because it was Valentine's day, a ridiculous holiday with no real point that always reminded him of one thing: Coraline.
Or at least, it always used to remind him of Coraline. Tonight he was only thinking of Beth, and of how he would be the happiest man in the world if their relationship could just go back to the way it was – the two of them friends, partners, working cases together side by side while he silently wanted her and could sense her feeling the same way. The only difference was that one night, that one amazing night, she'd had the courage to do something about it. Everything would have been different, he knew, if he would have gone after her the night she kissed him.
Mick slammed back his whiskey. Would've, could've,should've. Would he ever stop feeling sorry for himself? At least he was human. All of this had happened for a reason and now he was human. He had actually bought a bed. He could eat real food. So he and Beth would never have the same relationship again, so she had pulled away from him for reasons he didn't quite understand. So what?
So everything, said a voice in his head that he wished he could silence.
But he couldn't make it be quiet. And suddenly he'd had enough. He wanted to see Beth. He needed to see her. He needed to spend time with her while he was human, and he had a feeling that she would never come to him on her own. He needed to stop being so damn proud and start being honest. Sure, honesty scared him, and maybe it was the whiskey in him that made him feel like tonight was the night he could actually do this – he didn't know. But for one reason or another Mick found himself dialing Beth's number.
"Hello?" came her voice, and for a moment he was silent. It was just so good to hear that voice.
"Hello?" it came again.
"Hey Beth, it's um, it's Mick."
"Oh…hey. How are you?"
"I'm okay thanks. How are you?"
"I've been better. But I'm doing all right."
There was an awkward pause.
"So," she said, "Are you still…you know…"
"Human? Yeah. Listen, can you come over tonight?"
"Well I don't know, I – "
"Please Beth. It's important."
She was silent for a moment, but something in his voice told her that he was being honest. He needed to see her. "Okay," she replied, "Yeah. I'll be over in about a half hour."
Mick hung up and drained his glass. Liquid courage. He was going to need it.
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He heard a knock almost exactly thirty minutes later.
"Hi," he said, swinging the door open and ushering Beth inside, "I'm glad you could come."
"Is everything okay?" she replied, sliding off her coat and draping it on the couch.
"Yeah, yeah everything's fine."
She turned and faced him expectantly, "So why did you want me to come over?"
Beth knew that her less than warm attitude was hurting Mick. She could see it in his eyes. She sighed, willing him to understand.
"What happened to us Beth?" he finally asked in a low voice.
"What do you mean? Nothing's happened to us." Beth could feel the lie sting her tongue.
"Yes, it has. Don't deny it. And I don't know if it's because I became human, or because of Josh, or because I did something else wrong, but…." His voice drifted off and he took a step closer to her, "Please, Beth. Talk to me."
Beth was quiet for a minute, "Okay," she said, sitting down on the couch, "Okay."
Mick almost sat down next to her, but stopped himself. She probably didn't want him there. Instead, he settled into a chair across from her and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to fight the urge to hold her – hold her until everything was okay again.
"After the funeral, when you told me you were human again…I was happy for you. I really was. But I felt guilty for it. I felt like I shouldn't be happy because of Josh – especially on the day of his funeral. It didn't seem right you know?"
"Beth – "
"Please just let me finish… I knew Josh would want me to be happy, so I couldn't figure out why I still felt so terrible. I kept telling myself he wouldn't want me to feel that way. And then I felt bad about us too. I froze you out Mick, and I'm sorry. But it wasn't because I didn't care or wasn't happy for you. I wanted to spend time with you. I wanted to go out to eat and take a walk on the beach and just…be with you," she paused and took a deep breath, "and then I realized that's why I felt so guilty. That's why I kept having nightmare after nightmare about Josh dying and his body turning into yours or the other way around. It wasn't because I was happy for those brief moments. It was because I was happy with you, and I was happy with you long before he died. I felt like I had betrayed him."
Mick remained silent, soaking in the meaning of her words.
"So," she said, "and don't think this is strange, but I went…I went to Josh's grave. And I talked to him. And I apologized and I cried and I begged him to understand. I felt like the guilt was crushing me. I woke up every morning with this rock in the pit of my stomach and this voice in my head telling me how terrible I was. But after I went to the cemetery…things got better. My nightmares stopped. And I know it sounds crazy but I feel like Josh understands. I know he understands."
"Understands what?" Mick asked, almost afraid to know the answer.
Beth looked him directly in the eye for the first time since she'd arrived, "Understands that I love you."
"You love me?"
"Yeah. I think I have for awhile. I think maybe Josh even knew it when he was alive. I think I knew it too, whether I wanted to admit it to myself or not. That's why I've been avoiding you. I was afraid of facing how I feel. I still am afraid. It's just that…I guess I needed you to know."
Mick got up and walked over to Beth, pulling her gently off the couch. He caressed her face and hair, holding her to him and praying that if this was a dream, he would never wake up.
"I love you too," he whispered, "I love everything about you Beth. I can't help it."
He pulled away from her and kissed her tenderly, the way he'd wanted to for so long. Her lips tasted like heaven, and he found himself wanting more so badly he ached.
"Stay with me tonight," he whispered before he could stop himself, "I even invested in a real bed."
He could feel Beth smile against his chest before looking back up at him, "Are you sure about this?"
Mick took in everything about her, everything about this moment, "Yes."
"Me too," she replied.
As he led her upstairs, Mick couldn't keep the smile off his face. Maybe Valentine's Day was okay...and he knew Valentine's night would be nothing short of incredible.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed it - please review and happy valentine's day!
