Summary: Mara and Luke are dead. Ben thinks about his life thus far.
Disclaimer: Lucas's world.
I am an orphan. People ask me all the time what its like. What kind of question is that? My mother died a mere hour after I was born. My father died two days after his fight with Shimirra. I was three years old. All I remember was him kissing my forehead and saying he loved me. Aunt Leia and Uncle Han raised me.
After the war with the Yuuzhang Vong, I traveled with Aunt Leia and Uncle Han. Aunt Leia was my teacher. When I was nine, they asked me if I wanted to train to be a Jedi like my parents. I said no. I think they were a little releived.
My birthday is a depressing event each year. It is the day my mother died. A few months later will be the anniversary of Anakin, my cousin, death. I met him as an infant. I do not remember him.
I wish I knew everyone before the war. Aunt Leia and Uncle Han have a deep sadness in their eyes. They miss Anakin so much; mom and dad too. People tell me that Jacen has become someone they fear. Jacen disappears for years at a time. I worry for him. There are times I hate him for the worry his causes his already pained parents. Jaina is tougher, they say. She finally got her act together and married Jagged Fel. They have two kids right now, but we all expect more. They live in the Unknown Regions. I think the Galatic Alliance was just sick of Jaina.
I am eightteen years old today. Uncle Han gave me an old knife his friend Chewbacca had given him years ago. I wish I had met Chewbacca. He sounds cool. Aunt Leia gave me some of my parents old things.
Aunt Leia and Uncle Han more important to me than anyone in the galaxy. I've been yelled at for saying that, but its true. I simply don't know my parents. I know they loved me; I love them, as a child would. I just don't know them. I know Aunt Leia and Uncle Han. They took me in. They raised me as their own son. They loved as one of their own. I guess thats why I get so angry at Jacen.
Today I start a new chapter. Aunt Leia and Uncle Han have sent me to the Jedi Temple. Yes, I should have gone earlier, but I was not ready. I am now. I know how much is scares Uncle Han and Aunt Leia. They are afraid to lose me like they lost Anakin.
When I was younger, I had always wanted to be like Uncle Han. He was touched, but knew I needed to be trained. They both wanted me to decide for myself though. They never pushed me to do anything that I truly didn't want to. They made me the man I am today. I finally have made my choice. I will be a Jedi.
I guess I'm not an orphan. Orphans don't have parents. I have some. They didn't birth me, but they loved me just the same.
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