Normally once I win a match, I bask in the glory of the fact that for that single moment in time I was the better wrestler, however in this case I knew the beast I had just beaten wasn't exactly as incapacitated as I would've liked and rather than spending my time waiting to be beaten into a pulp I chose to high tail it out of the ring and up the ramp. Even now as I made my way backstage, my heart raced and my pulse thumped in my ears as I made my way through the maze of corridors, looking for the Knockouts changing room. Sure, I should've known where it was by now but my mind wasn't exactly focused on where my feet were taking me, more in what they were carrying me away from. Being part of 'The Beautiful People' was all well and good if only the outcome of being the villainous heel didn't mean that the opponents I faced half the time truly didn't like my character or me outside of the ring. Sometimes the worst thing about wrestling politics is that you can't show your true self without it being used against you in some screwed up storyline later on in your career. Ehhh hazard of the business I guess. As I paced quickly through the hallways, trying my hardest to mask my 'scent' from Jessica by wandering through many hallways and retracing some of my steps, I stumbled across Dixie Carter showing some new guy around. I could tell he was new because he had that look of total awe that someone who was new to the business wore all over them. I should've stopped and told him that the 'new appreciative glow' he felt would soon fade once he met some of the guys that he was to share a locker room with but I didn't want to burst his bubble so soon. Baby steps, baby steps. Waving in silence to Dixie as I passed her, I headed for the Knockout's locker room and pushed the door in just in time to stumble through the doorway and trip over Ashley's bag. Ashley hadn't been here very long and for some reason the powers that be had decided she was to be Lauren and I's "prodigy", as if we really needed a third wheel within our group. I guess everyone needs a coffee getter, or someone to take the matches the didn't want. Yes, Ashley was going to fit in well with 'Angelina Love and Velvet Sky'...as our little bitch. Anyway, once I slowly rose to my feet and dusted off my knees, pulling on the hem of my shirt to fix that as well, I heard the vocal tornado of 'I'm so sorry's' coming from Ashley's mouth and I closed my eyes, praying that she'd be done rambling soon and then I could speak. Crossing the room and taking a seat in one of the hydrolic chairs in front of the mirror, Ashley finally shut up long enough to take a breath and I took my chance to speak, eyes focused directly on the petite frame in front of me "Ashley...chill out. It's okay...relax. Just...next time, remember that other people have to walk in the door and don't put your bag there okay?" As she nodded like a bobblehead, I knew that she'd forget next time and we'd have this conversation again but at the moment as I spun around to face the mirror, my eyes focused in on the damage that my match had done to my make-up as my mind drifted back to the man I had seen in the hallway. There was something about him that seemed just alittle...different and it really irritated me that I was thinking about it now instead of where I was going after the tapings were over or what club Lauren and I would be going to this weekend when she visited me in Connecticut. I couldn't pin point exactly what it was that made him so different than anyone else I had seen pass through here with Dixie, many of them I never even gave a second thought but there was something about this rather well built, clean shaven, way too stiff boy...man? that was throwing me off. Hell, I didn't even know his name. After fixing the smudged line of my eyeliner and applying a darker coat to my lash line, I turned around to face Ashley with a curious thought. "Hey, Ashley...do you know who the new guy walking around with Dixie is? I mean...I passed them but I was in such a hurry to get back here before Jessica caught up to me for stealing the win in our match that I didn't have time to ask or make introductions..." There must've been something on my face that read bitchy curiosity because as soon as I finished my question Ashley's shoulders straightened and stiffened as if I had slapped her, clearly my portrayal of 'Velvet Sky' seemed to be running over into Jamie land by accident. I really needed to keep control of my emotions better, especially when it came to the seperation of Jamie and Velvet. "Uh...I think I heard Kevin and Steve talking about him...I guess he's supposed to be in his first match tonight for the company against Matt Morgan. I heard Rhino's been training him and he's ex-military. He's totally hot, I saw him earlier and oh...my...god.." for some reason as Ashley fanned herself thinking about the mystery man, my blood started to boil in jealousy. I knew nothing about him, yet Ashley 'the new girl on the block' knew that much...it wasn't fair. Exhaling a breath, I took a second to control my thoughts and once I was sure I wasn't going to lash out at Ashley for something that wasn't even her fault, I spoke again "Really...he's been training with Rhino? Hm...interesting." pausing in my thoughts, Ashley looked at me like I was nuts...either that or she was afraid of what I was going to say. She just kept looking at me like I was a ticking time bomb...my face must've read as much. I really needed to control that. "Do you...uh, happen to know his name?" I asked, hoping that the information vessel in front of me could supply me with the answers I wanted, most importantly his name. As if to read my mind, Ashley answered me, slightly cautious. "I think..I heard his name mentioned backstage a few times...I think his name's Jesse..." "Jesse...what? Come on, you know more about him than everyone else around here...well anyone I'm not talking to at the moment, so Jesse what?" "Jesse...Neal, I think. I just know that he's been training with Rhino and he's supposed to have a match against Matt Morgan tonight. Did I mention that he's totally gorgeous?" that was all it took before I lashed out on Ashley...'Velvet' style. "He is none of your concern right now...shouldn't you be getting ready for a match with Shantelle right now anyway? God, you're such a gossip." with that, I spun around and crossed my arms, peering into the mirror as I sulked. I knew that I was going to have to apologize later for my actions but at the moment I was so filled with rage at the thought of Ashley thinking about the mystery...Jesse Neal, like he was a piece of ass that I didn't care how I acted, even if I was acting like a spoiled brat. Confused and very, very afraid of what I would do, Ashley grabbed her knee pads and left the room, leaving me all to myself. Normally this would've made me happy but without Lauren here this week and this new guy mudding up my thoughts, I just wanted to take an aspirin and sleep away the rest of the day. Unfortunately that wasn't a possibility and I knew it.
After sulking in the locker room for the last three hours, the show was finally over and I had changed from my ring gear into a pair of jeans and a pink tank jacket. Yes, I'm aware that it is a strange mix of a tank top and a jacket but it's cute and I love it, sue me. Everyone always headed over to the Orlando Ale House after the shows, most of the time we just hung out, had some good food and a few beers. Occasionally we hung out with some of the fans that had been in the Impact Zone for the tapings and pretty much had a good night. Tonight however instead of hanging out in the heart of the party, I took a seat at a booth on the outskirts of the room and ordered a beer. Nothing but Coors Light baby. Pulling my phone from my pocket I found that I received a text I hadn't known anything about. Here's the deal, I've kind of been 'seeing' another wrestler within the company but no one really knew anything about it. I mean, it's not like I could just come out and tell people that we're kind of 'together' when he's a giant asshole who at the moment is supposed to seem like he's dating a ton of women, his on-screen 'associate' being Traci Brooks. I know there's no commitment necessary with this arrangement and somehow I'm okay with that, but lately it feels like there's something missing between us. I mean, the sex is good...really good, but I want something more than that. I think what attracted me to this person to begin with was the fact that there was no strings attached, it was an affair that I was comfortable with because I didn't know at the time he wasn't married or involved...I had no issues with being 'casual'. I mean, I had just come out of a relationship that I had invested nearly seven years in and I wasn't looking for something permanent or something that felt restricting and I honestly wasn't ready for that type of commitment. Silly me. The first time I had actually talked to him was at a bar, I don't remember where but that doesn't really matter. We got to drinking and talking and drinking some more and after a while one thing lead to another and we ended up having sex that night...and pretty much every night since then. Reading over the text message on my phone now, I couldn't help but think about our short past together and smile because as much of an ass as he came off at times, he was really sweet at other times and he kept me on my toes. Oh and the person that I'm talking about would be everyone's favorite millionaire asshole, Robert Roode. Don't ever call him Robby unless you're screaming an orgasm because he really, really, really hates it. He hates Bobby even more. Anyway, the message seemed to scream to me that I shouldn't be thinking about this other guy because even though it wasn't public, I was with someone, without Robert actually knowing anything about Jesse since he was on the UK Maximum Impact Tour...oh he would be surprised. I felt guilty as I read the message over again, I knew that I shouldn't be thinking about someone else, even if I hadn't met him before or knew anything other than backstage speculation but somehow I figured that it was a sign that things were going to get rocky...but like the stubborn ass that I am, I ignored my gut instinct and I answered Robert's message acting like there was nothing wrong. Jamie, hope everything's good in Orlando. James and I went bar hopping and I ended up having to babysit him 'til he passed out. Think of me often. -Robert. Damn him. Robert, everything's fine in Orlando. New faces around the male locker room, ooh la la ;). You really need to watch Storm's beer consumption, just sayin'. :P Can't wait for you to get back ;) xoxo Jamie. Once I hit send, I slumped down into my chair, feeling like the biggest schmuck ever because I knew that even though I was only kidding, part of me felt like I was about to be telling the truth. Alot.